Anthem Of The Angels
by Still Seeing Leaves
Summary: Quinn, Rachel and some unusual circumstances. Eventual Faberry, Glee Club/Rachel friendship,Shelby/Rachel bonding. ON HIATUS.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Anthem Of The Angels

**Pairing: **Quinn/Rachel

**Rating: **PG-13. Has a death theme, but no character death.

**Spoilers: **Takes place after EP22 'Journey'. May contain spoilers

**Timeline:** On the day of Regionals.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee, the songs, or even the characters.

**Author's Note:**Un-beta-ed so feel free to point out errors. Happy Reading and please R&R. Reviews are my lifeline.

* * *

Mike was going to open his own dance academy.

Santana was going to be a lawyer.

Brittany was going to be with Santana.

Puck was going to get his act together... eventually.

Finn was going to make him mom proud of him, even though he wasn't exactly sure how.

Tina was going to be a children's counselor.

Kurt was going to become the Editor-In-Chief of Vogue.

Mercedes was going to be a bigger sensation than Beyoncé.

Quinn was going to leave Ohio behind forever.

Rachel was going to win Nationals every year of her school life, and then she was going to move on to Broadway.

Life was going to derail their plans.

* * *

As Quinn was being wheeled into the delivery ward of Lima Memorial in a near-hysterical, kicking and screaming state, seven other people were being admitted to the trauma wing on the opposite side of the same hospital - one was was looking like a lost cause the moment he came in and his companion, an African male, seemed to be in a comparatively better state, not that that was a very good thing. Apparently the other five, none over the age of 25, were heading towards a club to party the night away and were already high on a mixture of party drugs, which was what caused a head on collision with the other car.

It soon became evident that none of the kids would sustain nothing more than superficial injuries, and maybe psychological trauma, mainly because their luck was exceptionally good and some of them had managed to use their brains. It would be found in later investigations that neither of the men had been wearing a seatbelt, a precaution that the drunk kids had taken, and that, amongst other thing, was the reason for their radically different conditions.

Across town, in the waiting room of the Midwest Regional Show Choir Championship, Rachel was half listening to Vocal Adrenaline and half wondering where the hell her dads were. It wasn't as if they attended every performance she'd ever gave - they needed to be jobless and useless to do that - but they'd promised they'd make it for this one. They knew how important this was for her, with Jesse and Shelby involved, and she'd even heard them on the phone, cancelling meetings in this time slot. Somehow, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was not quite right.

She paced anxiously, peering out into the crowd once or twice, and eventually just gave up on them and decided to track down Shelby instead. She left and headed towards the store room, where she knew her mother was sitting. One last try. She'd try just once more to try to make Shelby realize that Rachel _did_ need her and if it didn't work then she'd accept the fact that Shelby just didn't want anything to do with her in any capacity.

* * *

"Hello. Yeah, it went really well." said Mr. Schue, mouthing, "Principle Figgins," to all the others in the hospital. "No, we're at Lima Memorial. Quinn went into labour... Going smoothly right now. She's still in the OT...No, Rachel stayed behind to see the other performance. Why, is everything okay?" At this, the Glee clubbers all turned to Mr. Schue, waiting for another one of their Principle's crazy declarations. They watched his smile drop and his face turn ashen in an instant. Finn walked up to him, afraid that he might collapse, and waited as Will listened to whatever was going on at the other end.

"Y-Yeah. I'm going there now. Immediately, of course. Please don't call her. Let me get there. Bye." He put the phone back in his pocket and ran his hand through his hair, staring at the hospital floor dazedly. Will sat down on the couch, pinching the bridge of his nose, and trying to understand what he was supposed to do now.

"Mr. Shue. You okay?" Finn's concerned voice snapped him out of his daze and he looked up, startling all of them with a thin film of tears clearly visible in his eyes.

"No. I need to get back to the competition. All of you just stay here."

"Why? What happened? Are you alright?"

"Guys, just calm down. I need to get back there and I just don't have time to explain. I'll talk to all of you later, but I need to go now. Just... Just don't go anywhere. Ms. Pillsbury and Coach Sylvester are coming over." With that, he walked off towards the exit, leaving all the Glee kids staring at each other worriedly. They broke off into little groups, quietly whispering about what could have happened, and were only interrupted once when Puck came out to get some air.

Will drove back to the competition carefully and parked his car in it's place before going off to find Rachel, his calm and collected actions disguising his inner he got to the correct room, Will stood outside the door of the waiting room, his hand on the door knob, trying to steel himself before going in. He cared about this over-dramatic, fragile girl more than most people realized, more than even he realized at times. How was he supposed to do this to her? How was he supposed to tell her that her entire family had essentially been ripped apart?

"Shelby?" He watched the Vocal Adrenaline director make her way up the corridor, wondering if God was trying to make this a little easier for all of them, if that was possible. Will knew he couldn't do this alone and although Shelby wasn't the most ideal person for talking to Rachel right now, given what he had heard about the disaster their attempt at bonding had been, she was still an adult whom Rachel was emotionally attached to. That was the best he could do for now.

"Will, we can discuss this later. Please, not now." Shelby automatically assumed that he wanted to berate her for the incident with Rachel not too long ago, and she really couldn't hear that now. Shelby was well aware of her shortcomings and her failure at a relationship with Rachel, but hearing it from someone else would make it too concrete to handle. She would process and deal with it in her own way, and just wanted to be able to pretend that everything was fine for now.

"No, wait.. It's- it's not whatever you think it is. I need you to come with me to tell.. Oh God," he said, not being able to force the words out of his mouth at first, "to tell Rachel that her fathers.. they've had an accident."

"They've had a what?"

"An accident. Please. Even if you don't care, just please come."

"Of course, of course I will... Are they..." She let her sentence hang in the air, knowing he would understand the unspoken question.

"Not yet," he said, the look in his eyes telling her that the 'not yet' had a very big chance of turning into a 'yes' sometime in the near future. Not wanting - no, not daring to get any more details, she only nodded and followed him as he went into the room to find Rachel.

* * *

"Rachel?" Will watched her turn around at the sound of his voice, and the faint glimmer of hope in her eyes when she saw Shelby almost made him break down. But he walked up to her, and gently took her hands in his, which was when she felt them trembling. "There's something I need to tell you."

"What? What is it?.. The results haven't come early, have they?" she asked, her eyes flitting from Will to Shelby, wondering why they'd be standing here in front of her together, tonight of all nights. Was it possible that Shelby had maybe reconsidered her decision?

"No, no... it's um, it's got nothing to do with the competition. Why don't you come and sit down first?" Will tried to steer Rachel towards the couch as he spoke, but she pulled away from him, his behaviour making her feel uneasy.

"Mr. Schuester, can you please just tell me what's going on? You're making me nervous."

"Rachel... I got a call from Principle Figgins. He said that your fathers were involved in a car accident."

"They... were in an accident. And they're alright now... They're alright now, right Mr. Schuester?" She looked up at Shelby when Will didn't answer, trying to find some assurance, something, anything, that she hadn't seen in his eyes. "Say something."

But she knew, even as she poke, why they weren't answering. They weren't alright, or the first words out of Will's mouth would have been "They're both absolutely fine."

"We don't know. I'm so sorry, but we just don't know what their exact condition is yet." She leaned against the first thing her hand touched, barely registering what he said as she processed the information she'd been given fast enough to make her head spin. No words would come out of her mouth, but the adrenaline rush that went through her body was involuntary, making her focus on her surroundings in a surreal, detached way. Shelby walked up to her, but she turned her back to the older woman and walked up to Will.

"Take me to them, please."

* * *

Rachel walked into the hospital just minutes after Quinn's baby had made her way into the world. As Quinn lay exhausted somewhere in that building, relief coursing through her veins, the heaviness in Rachel's chest increased with every step she took inside the gleaming, sterile walls. Will was close behind her, ignoring the odd looks people were throwing at Rachel's outfit and just watching Shelby steer Rachel towards the ICU as the girl blankly followed her.

The only thing Rachel could focus on was getting there, on seeing her fathers and confirming that it was all just a mistake. That was all she needed to do, except she knew, in the rational part of her mind, that she couldn't because there was no mistake.

There was no mistake because that man lying on the other side of the glass doors, looking frail and mangled, was her daddy. That wasn't any mistake, nor was the fact that her dad was nowhere in sight. It wasn't right, the lack of his presence, but it wasn't a mistake or a misunderstanding that could help her, that could get her away from this reality that she didn't know how to accept. They'd only taken her to see one parent; there was only one person for her to see who was still receiving medical attention, and if the other person wasn't standing next to her, then she was smart enough to understand what had happened to him.

The young man who approached her, sobbing furiously and apologizing over and over again was what forced her into action. Looking at his face - his untouched, uninjured face - Rachel felt such an acute, immense hatred towards another human being that the intensity of it would have scared her had she been in her senses. As it was, the only thing she could make herself do was turn away from his pitiful form and walk away, not knowing where she was going, just that she couldn't stand being so close to everything a second longer.

Will would have gone after Rachel, but Shelby stopped him. Whatever their history may have been, Rachel needed someone today, someone who was more than her high school teacher. Shelby knew that today she was supposed to be adopting a little baby girl like the one she had given away so many years ago, but if she didn't go after Rachel, if she didn't respect the relationship she had abandoned so many years ago and that had come back to haunt her, she'd never forgive herself. She didn't think there was any chance for the two of them but this wasn't about them, it was about Rachel so just this once, Shelby put that above herself and followed the girl.

Rachel was leaning on the railing of the hospital terrace, the sharp cold wind whistling around her serving as a wonderful distraction. All she needed to focus on was the way it stung her face and lips, how cold it was, how difficult to breathe in. Her forced, pained breathing was interrupted for a moment by someone encircling her from behind. It wasn't until she heard Shelby whisper nonsensical reassurances to her that she relaxed, exhaling hard as she allowed herself to lean into the offered comfort. Even then, she didn't allow the tears prickling at the corners of her eyes to escape - there would be no tears while her daddy was in here. He always came through for her. Always.

* * *

**Author's Note : **I'm hiding in some corner, and I refuse to come out until prodded by reviews.

I've never even thought of tackling dark subjects till now, and have no idea if this is utter rubbish. Please, please tell me if I should continue, or if I just can't write stuff like this. Constructive criticism is eagerly awaited.

If this does go on, will be Q/R, and a lot faster than my other story. Also, I'll try to keep most of the characters as they are on the show, but Rachel, Shelby and to some extent Quinn will have different traits.

Don't know how often updates will come. Weekly, maybe...


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Anthem Of The Angels

**Pairing: **Quinn/Rachel

**Rating: **PG-13. Has a death theme, but no character death.

**Spoilers: **Takes place after EP22 'Journey'. May contain spoilers

**Timeline:** On the day of Regionals.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee, the songs, or even the characters.

**Author's Note:**Un-beta-ed so feel free to point out errors. Happy Reading and please R&R. Reviews are my lifeline.

* * *

"You're being ridiculous! Can't you even try to understand that this situation is different?" Will was talking to one of the neurosurgeons who was working on Rachel's dad, trying to get some information out of the man.

"I do, but even that doesn't change anything. It's against hospital policy to discuss this case with you."

"Listen, Rachel's just a child. She's not equipped to deal with this and her grandparents won't be arriving till tomorrow."

"And that's fine, since there's nothing for her to deal with. The insurance company has already contacted us and we have the financial part of it in place... As for Mr. Berry's condition, I doubt it'll change very drastically by tomorrow. Honestly, Mr. Schuester, if you'd like to help Rachel you should take her out of the hospital for some time. The change will take her mind off things." He patter Will lightly on the shoulder and walked off, leaving a very frustrated man behind.

"Mr. Schue, what the heck's going on?" said Puck, coming up from behind Will. "We tried to ask Coach Sylvester, but she said something about gutting rabbits and made Britt cry... so can you just tell me already."

"Nothing."

"You've been in the hospital this long and you didn't even come once to see how Quinn and the baby are doing. Doesn't seem like nothing."

"Puck, it's just not my place to say. You should just... go be with them for now. I'll talk to you guys later."

"But -"

"But nothing. It's none of your business so leave it alone."

"Listen, I get that you're trying to protect Rachel and stuff, but you're the one who said that we're all just a big family, right? So we should... I dunno, be there for her or something." Will looked at Puck and saw the concern the boy was trying to mask with indifference. It reminded him of the egging incident when they'd been willing to put their necks on the line for her - friends or not, Rachel needed people around her.

"You... are right. You're right. Just um... wait with the others and I'll be there in a minute. I'd rather not repeat this stuff again and again."

* * *

Shelby was sitting on one of the hospital benches, Rachel's head resting on her shoulder. She wasn't sure if the girl was asleep or not, but hadn't moved for the past half an hour just in case. It was a good thing for her - to get some time in the middle of all the madness to just think peacefully.

The irony of their situation didn't escape her - she'd been pushing Rachel out of her life so hard just a few days ago even as Rachel had been clinging on to her, and now she was the one having to cling. Since news of the accident had come in, Rachel had been behaving very distant with her. Shelby didn't expect anything else - after all, Rachel had far more pressing matters to attend to - but it was still quite a role-reversal.

The situation they were in also made it necessary for her to hang on no matter what. Shelby knew that even though it seemed a bit heartless, she would have walked away from Rachel and this town tonight for good if her parents weren't in a coma. It wasn't like she didn't care, because she sort of did even if it was more of an obligatory, guilty kind of caring. It was just that she wasn't good with emotions and relationships and stuff. Her music took care of that for her.

And then there was Quinn. Oh God, Quinn... The thought of the baby and adoption had almost slipped from her mind till now. There was no way, no fucking way that she could do baby stuff and Rachel stuff and ICU stuff all at the same time. Filling in the adoption forms, making that commitment itself had been a huge thing for her with doubts filling her head every step of the way and that had been without any other responsibilities attached. She could not take the baby from Quinn if she had to think of Rachel as well.

"Shelby?" She lifted her head to look at Will, who had just gotten back from his futile meeting with one of the doctors.

"How is he?" she whispered, not wanting to disturb the sleeping girl. But even the slight sound broke Rachel's light sleep and she jerked awake, looking around groggily for a moment before she focused on Will.

"Is daddy awake yet?"

"No, Rachel, not yet... But we're hoping he will be soon. Why don't you go freshen up a little for now? Miss. Pillsbury brought you a change of clothes." He held up a parcel in his hand, giving Rachel what he hoped was an encouraging smile, hoping she'd accept the offer so he could talk to Shelby alone for a moment. Thankfully, the girl nodded and took the package from him, heading in the direction of the washroom. Shelby got up as soon as she went, ushering Will into a relatively quiet corner.

"How is he?"

"I have no idea. The doctors here are refusing to tell me _anything_. Rachel's going to have to talk to them if we want information, and I dunno if that's the best thing to do. I don't want them to tell her something that she can't handle."

"This is ridiculous. She's a damn _kid_. What the hell do they expect?"

"I don't know, but you need to stay calm. Rachel needs you right now, and you need to keep cool."

"_**Stop**_ telling me what I need to do. I - " she took a breath, and started again. "I'll take care of Rachel. _You_ don't need to worry about that. But I also need to meet Quinn."

"Quinn? What for?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know so forget that. When are her grandparents arriving. ?"

"The hospital called them and they're taking the next flight out, but they still won't get here till tomorrow. I was wondering if maybe you could take Rachel home with you till then. Keep her there overnight, maybe. It can't be good for her to be here for that long.

"Of course. I should have thought of that myself." Will caught the insecurity in her voice, and knew that he had to keep that at bay.

"No, you've had far too many other things to think of right now. In fact, it'll be good for you to get away from here as well, even if for a short time. So just go home now, okay? I've given them your number, so they'll contact you if anything comes up."

"Thanks Will." Shelby looked over Will's shoulder to see Rachel coming up to them, her change of clothing doing nothing to erase the tired air around her.

"Um... excuse me."

"Hmm?"

"Can you take me to Daddy please? I'd like to see him properly."

"Um... right now?"

"Well, right now would be good."

"I was thinking," said Shelby slowly, "that maybe we could go to my place for some time and er... rest and see him in the morning."

"We can go after that. Just give me some time with him."

"Alright then, come on."

Shelby led Rachel to one of the Executive Suites of the ICU ward, where Archer was currently being monitored. The Berrys apparently had an insurance plan good enough to be able to afford the best healthcare. She was about to go in with Rachel when the girl stopped her.

"I'm sorry, but I'd rather go in alone."

"Sure. I'll be waiting here."

"No, it's okay... Can you just go for a little while?"

"I want to -"

"Not long. I just want a little time."

"Fine. Send me a message when you're done." She'd use the time to go find the other girl she needed to talk to.

* * *

"Guys, settle down for a moment... There's something I need to tell you and I'd rather say it all at once, so no interruptions till I'm done, alright?" said Will, waiting for a moment to give them time to pay attention to what he was saying.

"I think everyone knows by now that something happened that involves Rachel. Well, that something was that her parents... they had a car accident while driving up to the show choir competition." The gasps and questions that followed his statement didn't let him get a word out till Puck shouted over everyone's heads to make them shut up.

"Thank you, Puck... Like I said, accident," he said as Kurt, who'd previously been paying no attention to him, sat in rapt attention. "And... and I don't know how to say this."

"Oh God, Mr. Schue. They made it, right?"

"One. One of them did... he's not doing so well, but he made it. But her other dad..." he trailed off and just shook his head. He looked down, not wanting to face the barrage of questions he was expecting, but none came. The kids in front of him sat in stunned silence, the concept of death and loss presenting itself in such a personal manner to them that they didn't know what to say.

Rachel was like the annoying relative who planned all the get-togethers and got on everyone's nerves, but who was also the glue that held everyone together. None of them would go so far as to say that they were great friends with her, but they had come to care for her in their own twisted teenager way... or at least care enough for the news to affect them as well. She didn't deserve that... hell, no one deserved that. After a few moments, Kurt spoke up.

"Mr. Schue, I'd like to visit Rachel if she's alright with it."

"Yeah, yeah. Me too.. she'll want me with her."

"Guys, that's sweet of you but it'll be better if you leave her alone for now. She needs some time to herself and with her family. I'll tell her you asked and you can see her when she's ready."

"Of course," said Kurt, backing off. He knew Mr. Schue had no clue what he was talking about, but he was right about one thing - Rachel needed some space today. Not too much space, because he knew that when his mom had died, he would never had come out of his shell if people hadn't pushed into his space and forced him out. Still, there was no point arguing with Will as Finn was doing.

"I said no, Finn and that's final."

"She wants -"

"Enough! What she wants and needs is not for you to decide. If she wants to see you, she'll tell me. Now go sit down."

"Who's with her right now if you're here with us?"

"Shelby's with her."

"Oh... No offense Mr. Schue, but are you sure that's a good idea? I saw what went down between those two and let me tell you, it wasn't pretty for Rachel," said Mercedes.

"It - it's not like that anymore."

"You don't sound all that sure."

"No, I am... I don't know precisely what happened between those two, but I'm sure Shelby won't bail in this situation. I trust her that much. And I also trust the rest of you to go home and get some rest now. It's been a really long day and I have the bus is waiting outside for you guys."

"That's okay Mr. Schue. We want to stay."

"Guys, there's no point... I'll keep you updated on whatever happens, but you roaming around without sleep for a few days won't help anyone. Go home. Seriously, okay? I'll come back in some time and I don't want to see you guys here."

There was silence for some time after Mr. Schue left, till Brittany suddenly spoke up.

"Does this mean Rachel's auctioned now?"

"Auctioned?"

"Yeah, like Brett was, remember? When his mom and dad died and those people came to take him away."

"You mean orphaned." This was the first time Santana had spoken since Mr. Schue had arrived. She felt bad for Rachel, she honestly did, but the whole condolence act just wasn't her thing. Talking in the middle of something like that just made her uncomfortable.

"Don't be stupid, Britt. No one's gonna take Rachel away 'cause her dad's gonna be fine."

"Um... No he's not." Trust Brittany to be blunt.

"Maybe not, but no one will take Rachel either way," said Shelby, making them jump. She'd been listening in on the conversation for some time now, standing in one corner.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here with Rachel, as I'm sure you guys know by now... and what are you doing here, by the way? Shouldn't you have gone home by now?"

"We were just leaving... Listen, Ms. Corcoran, not to be rude or anything, but you didn't seem all that into Rachel last time I saw you. She's gonna need someone who wants to be there for her and you..."

"And I want to be there. No one's forcing anything on me, Mercedes. I understand your concern, but I'm doing this for Rachel. So if you'll excuse me, there's somewhere I need to be," said Shelby, dismissing the students in front of her and making her way to Quinn's room.

"Well, that certainly went well. Come on, we'll think about this stuff later," said Kurt, coming up next to Mercedes.

"And I thought Rachel was bad."

"Mercedes, leave it."

"What? I'm just saying' -"

"I said just leave it. Now let's get out of here."

* * *

Quinn opened her eyes at the sound of the door opening and watched Shelby come in, wondering how the woman had come to know so fast. Maybe these processes had some sort of automatic alert or something.

This was the moment then – the time when she'd get her old life, her old identity back and forget this past year ever happened. Quinn knew there was something wrong with her because she was supposed to be feeling wonderful right now. In all the pictures she'd painted in her head, she was supposed to feel wonderful… but she didn't. It's not as if she had any sudden urge to keep the baby, but the joy she was expecting wasn't there – in its place was a hollow, disenchanted feeling.

"How are you feeling?"

"I just squeezed something the size of a _pumpkin_ out of something the size of a _lemon_. How do you _think_ I'm feeling?" Still cranky, apparently.

"Um... right, yes. I'm sure that you'd rather rest right now, but this was a bit urgent."

"I've already signed all the papers, and so had Puck. So you can just take her. I don't want any last meeting or anything, if that's what you're here for."

"No, that's not really it… I can't take her right now."

"What do you mean?" Shelby sat down on the side of Quinn's bed and explained what had happened over the last few hours in brief.

"I don't understand. They're... I mean, are you sure it wasn't a mistake or something?"

"I wish it was. But the fact is that there doesn't seem to be much chance of his waking up in the next few days. So you see, I just can't go through with this adoption right now. It would be too much, on top of everything else."

"You _can't_ do that. We have everything finalized. You cannot just cancel everything at the last minute."

"Quinn, please try to understand. That was then, this is now."

Quinn sat silently for a few moments – at first glance, this was a brilliant chance for her to reverse her decision without seeming like the one who couldn't make up her mind. She could quell the growing doubts in her mind and keep her child. With her mom ready to take her back in and her dad out of the picture, it would work out.

Only she knew it wouldn't. No matter how much the hormones may be messing with her rational thinking, she still remembered the fact that sixteen year olds were not meant to raise babies. Especially sixteen year olds like her. She had dreams that couldn't be contained within Lima, and if the baby got in the way, she'd become bitter and resentful. This adoption had to go through.

"I can't _understand_. You promised. You _told_ me that you would take care of her. I am not letting you back out of that. "

"Listen-"

"No, you listen… You're just too used to backing out and running away when things get tough, right? Look at what you did to Rachel. But I'm not that nice. You don't get to cut and run this time."

"This isn't my choice!"

"Oh yeah? Did you think that when you adopted a baby you'd get to plan every second of every day for the next eighteen years, that there wouldn't be anything happening that wasn't your choice?... This baby happened to me and it wasn't my choice! Noah Puckerman as the father was not my damn choice… but I still had to deal with it. You are getting a baby, for heaven's sake. Take this as your first multi-tasking lesson."

"That is so easy for you to say… But I cannot take care of both Beth and Rachel. Just not happening."

"Beth?"

"Noah told me her name. It's sweet." Shelby had gotten up by now, and was slowly pacing the room. Confrontations were so not her thing. For almost a decade, she'd become accustomed to giving orders and seeing them followed. Discussion and debate weren't her strong points, especially when they were with an immature teenager. Although the way Quinn was talking right now made her feel that the girl was probably more mature than her.

"D'you like that name?"

"Beth? Sure. I wouldn't have kept it otherwise."

"So it's not just because Puck said it?"

"You don't like the name?"

"I… never thought about it. He sang me a song called 'Beth' and I thought it was kinda sweet but I always thought the parents would decide her name in the end."

"Well, I did. Beth's a very nice name," said Shelby, smiling at Quinn.

"Have you seen her yet?"

"Yeah… I went up before I came to see you. She's... she's just perfect."

"And you're still going to give her up?"

"Quinn…"

"No, seriously. I'm not trying to attack you or anything… Just explain to me why you can't take care of both of them. It's not like Rachel's five or something."

"Oh, it'd be so much easier if she were… Quinn, Rachel wanted something from me that I just couldn't give her, and I damaged our relationship a lot by just pushing her away without explaining anything to her. It's going to take so much work from me to fix that in some way… to be able to help her right now. I don't have to make her breakfast and give her a bath and stuff, but what I do need to do is so much more exhausting. You tell me how I'm supposed to do that while trying to learn to be a mother to a new-born at the same time."

"You… why d'you need to do that? I mean, what deep emotional connection are you trying to establish here anyway?... Her grandparents are coming soon, aren't they?"

"Yes, they are… But I just feel… I don't know."

"Obligated? Guilty?"

"Yes and yes, but that's not all. I can't explain it properly… Think of it like this – if I run away from Rachel right now for Beth, what assurance would you have about me not running away from Beth? You said it yourself – I'm used to cutting and running. But I don't want to do that anymore."

"You sure as hell have picked a good time to reform." Shelby gave a humourless laugh.

"I'm sorry Quinn. I really am… I waited a long time for my adoption request to be granted, and I'm not going to get another chance after I give this one up."

"You don't have to."

"Please don't –"

"No, wait. Hear me out, alright?... There is one thing we can do."

"What?"

"You just need some time with Rachel, right? It's not like she's going to be with you permanently now… So for that some time, I can still take care of Beth. I was going to drop by from time to time anyway, so it'll just be an extension of that. Go through with the adoption, and till the time you're preoccupied, I'll help out with Beth… I'd help with Rachel too, honestly, but I don't think she'd like that much."

"I don't know. It seems a bit dicey… This was supposed to be a bonding period for us. What's the point if you're there?"

"Oh for Christ's sake! You're supposed to be the rational adult here, right? Well you cannot take care of her right now, and I can't keep her forever and lord knows how much time it'll take to find another couple. This is perfect for us. Just say yes already." Quinn felt slightly ashamed of the way that came out – it sounded more like they were bartering for a piece of meat than deciding the fate of a child.

"You're right. I do want to kee-" Shelby was interrupted by a beeping from her phone, indicating that Rachel was done with her dad. "Rachel's calling me. I need to go now, but we'll figure out the details later."

"Don't leave me hanging."

"I won't." Shelby had done enough of that, and now seemed to be the perfect time to stop. Who would have thought Quinn Fabray would be the one to make her realize that.

* * *

Rachel walked into the ICU ward where her father lay on the bed, hooked up to numerous monitors. She'd prepared herself for seeing them, but even then the sight of his battered body made her recoil. The man lying on that bed, with only the steady beeping of the monitor indicating he was alive was so far removed from her last image of her father that for a moment she felt tempted to go out there and telling everyone that they'd made a mistake – this wasn't her daddy.

But the moment passed, and she was left with the silence of the ward and her own sinking hope. That was Archer Berry, no matter how much she may wish otherwise.

Carefully circumnavigating all the tubes and wires to sit down on a chair next to her dad, Rachel lightly traced the protruding veins on his hand with her fingers. They had some sort of a connection, Archer and her. Ever since the time she was little, he was always the one who could sense her distress, far better even than her other father. He knew what every gesture, every twitch, every gesture meant even without her telling him. Rachel prayed that he knew know, that he felt how much she needed him.

"Daddy?" She spoke in a soft whisper, not able to make a louder sound than that. The knot in her throat was growing by the second, but she had promised herself that she wouldn't cry yet.

"I- No one's telling me how you are, but I think you can hear me... Daddy, please wake up. There isn't anyone else, and I can't do this alone. You know I can't... I'm not feeling good, and I really need you to get me a glass of water."

Rachel couldn't stop few tears from escaping then, thinking back to all the times she'd taken her parents for granted. She wasn't the most ideal child to have around by any means; she loved and raged in equal measures. For every day of telling her dads how awesome they were, there had been one of telling them they were horrible and that she wanted nothing more than to escape to New York and never look back. She wanted so desperately to take all that back, to be able to tell both of them that they had been so much better than she ever deserved.

"I love you, Daddy. I love you so much and I know you do too, even if you're not saying it. I don't care how long it takes, just please wake up for me... And don't worry too much, okay? I'll be fine till you're up and running. But you can't stay like this. That's not allowed."

She stayed like that for a few more minutes, taking some assurance from the steady rise and fall of her dad's chest. He was still alive, and he was going to stay that way. Eventually, she removed her hand from his and got up, sniffling and brushing off the few stray tears that had made their way down her face. Showing everyone that everything was okay would make it okay. She left the room, turning to look at her dad one last time, and messaged Shelby.

* * *

'Sweetie, are you sure you don't want something to eat?" said Shelby, as she practically ran along the corridor to keep up with Rachel's unusually fast pace. Ever since she'd come out of the ICU, Rachel seemed to be making every effort to maintain an aloof air and distance herself from Shelby. The older woman cursed herself for thinking that it was a good idea for Rachel to go there alone. Stupid, stupid idea.

"I'm sure, just like I was the first ten times you asked."

"But Rachel, I really think you should just -"

"Shelby, please stop thinking. You and I are both aware of the fact that you're doing this out of some warped sense of duty, but please, feel free to drop the concerned parent act. You don't seem to be very good at it."

"Rachel, wait… You have every right to feel like that. It's not like I ever did anything to prove it, but I do care about you. I'm not doing this because I have to… I'm doing it because I care."

"No you don't. You do not care about me and nor, for that matter, does anyone else. I am scared right now. Scared and anxious, but I am not an idiot. Now can we go please?" Shelby reluctantly loosened the grip she had on Rachel's hand and they stepped into the elevator, at which time they noticed Quinn trailing behind them. Shelby wondered how much the blonde had heard while Rachel just ignored her, staring straight ahead.

Quinn had only heard the last few sentences, but that in itself was more than enough to make her wonder who that brunette was and what she'd done to Rachel Berry. The Rachel she knew was pushy and irritating and loud, but she wasn't hurtful and malicious.

Then again, Quinn also knew first hand how fast the circumstances in your life changed your behaviour. Their situations weren't the same, but then they weren't all that different either – having the earth yanked out from under your feet, the prospect of living the rest of your life without the safety your parents had provided till then, feeling like you had all the wrong people on your side – these were all things both of them were familiar with, which was why Quinn went after Rachel, motioning for Shelby to stay behind.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Thank you all so so so much for all the reviews/story alerts. I wouldn't have been able to write so fast if it wasn't for all of you.

**ailed:** Thank you:) Hope you liked this as well

**fan:** I hope he makes it too:) Let's see how the characters flesh out

**kristen:** Thanks. Here's the next one, and it was pretty soon:)


	3. Chapter 3 I've Seen The Signs

**Title:** Anthem Of The Angels

**Chapter: **I've Seen The Signs

**Pairing: **Quinn/Rachel

**Rating: **PG-13. Has a death theme, but no character death.

**Spoilers: **Takes place after EP22 'Journey'. May contain spoilers

**Timeline:** On the day of Regionals.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee, the songs, or even the characters.

**Author's Note:**Un-beta-ed so feel free to point out errors. Happy Reading and please R&R. Reviews are my lifeline. **Please read A/N at end**. Story Title is the name of a song by Breaking Benjamin. Chapter title is from Wade Hubbard.

* * *

"Hey, Berry. Wait up." Rachel ignored Quinn and marched ahead, determined not to listen to a word that trollop had to say.

"Oh, come on. I just delivered a baby, you know. I could outrun you in my sleep on a normal day." The moment she said that, Rachel started walking just a little faster, if that was possible. Quinn mentally slapped herself when she realized how her words had sounded, and thought it better to keep the lame jokes to a minimum. But this girl was really getting to her.

Quinn finally managed to catch up with Rachel near the end of the corridor and promptly steered the reluctant girl into an empty stairwell, which seemed much more conductive for a proper conversation.

"Why are you following me?" Rachel glared at Quinn, willing the blonde to be incinerated under her gaze.

"I..Well, I-" Quinn stammered and stuttered for a good thirty seconds before shutting up completely. Not only was she petrified of the way Rachel was staring at her, but she wasn't really sure what to say. Chasing after Rachel when she'd overheard the conversation with Shelby had been relatively easy, but unfortunately she hadn't planned out what would happen afterwards. Her impulsive emotions could only get her so far.

"Quinn, if you need language classes, I suggest you consult our English professor. Now if you're done wasting my time, I have better things to do."

"No, wait. I just... I wanted to say that I'm really sorry."

"About what?"

"About your dads and stuff. I mean, it's terrible, what happened, and if you need anything then-"

"Then I should what? Come to _you_? If I ever feel the need to be humiliated and insulted, I'll be sure to seek you out."

"Rachel, no. If you'll just let get a word in-"

"I don't need to hear what you're saying, and I don't need your damn sympathy."

"I'm just saying that I want to help you. I get how this feels."

"_**Don't**_. Don't you dare say you know how this feels. You think that you can play the victim here because your parents kicked you out, and that in some way entitles you to probe into my mind? Fact of the matter is that _you_ messed up, Quinn._ You_ behaved like a tramp, and now you're just facing the consequences. _I_ didn't do this. _None_ of this is me. So don't come after me and pretend that our situations are even remotely similar, because they're not." Rachel spoke in an absolutely cold, brutal and even tone, as if she was trying to hit Quinn where it hurt the most.

Maybe, _maybe_ if the situation had been a little different, if only one of them had had their life torn apart, if both of them didn't feel like they were being crushed under too much weight;maybe then they might have been able to find some middle ground, some semblance of friendship, some comfort in each other. But this wasn't that time. Quinn had changed a lot in the past few months, but she was still far from a saint, and when her temper took over, it royally took over.

"I'm only going to say this once, so memorize it. You're going through tonnes of crap, and I've gone through months of hell. We really are more similar than I thought. So whether you like it or not, I do know what's going on in that Broadway brain of your's. I know how you feel right now, and I swear I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I'm not pitying you, I'm trying to help you. You are not allowed to go into a funk. I'll drag you out of it by your hair if I have to. And since we're going to be seeing so much of each other in the next few months, we'd better learn to at least behave civilly." Quinn had started off angry, and had gotten softer towards the end. She really did have some idea of what Rachel was feeling, and couldn't bring herself to be as harsh to the girl standing in front of her as she wanted to be.

"And why exactly would we be seeing each other?"

"Huh?"

"So you're deaf now as well. I asked why we'd be seeing each other. In case you forgot, the summer holidays are starting day after tomorrow. And although I have no doubt you will soon be inducted back into bikini season, your social life and my lack of one will probably not be conductive to us seeing each other." Quinn was a little relieved to hear Rachel talk like Berry again, but wasn't sure if the girl was just pretending to be oblivious in order to torture her, or if Shelby really hadn't told her. Well, she would have been finding out anyways.

"Well, you are going to be spending the summer with your stuffed toys, but after..." there is was again, that sudden tension in the room which had almost disappeared,"after all this, you'll be staying over at Shelby's, right? And I'll probably be there too, because of Beth and stuff. So yeah, we might bump into each other." Quinn took a breath and watched as Rachel's expression changed from bewilderment to utter disbelief. She felt a little guilty for dumping this on the girl, but it was an open adoption and stuff, so she should have thought of it herself.

"Who's Beth?"

"M- Shelby's daughter." Rachel closed her eyes for a moment, then looked up at Quinn again, her expression unreadable.

"Shelby's daughter?... Oh. _Oh_, I get it. Shelby adopted your... Yes, because _obviously_ her own daughter wasn't good enough."

Oh crap. Quinn hadn't thought that Shelby would be stupid enough to be doing all of this without even informing Rachel. The two of them hadn't been on the best of terms, but God, couldn't she have told her only daughter that she'd soon be getting another daughter who also happened to be the illegitimate daughter of her first daughter's worst enemy? Basically, double Oh crap.

"Well, this is wonderful. I hope all of you have a great time playing happy families. Why don't you rope in Finn to be the caring Uncle? That'll just make everything perfect, won't it?"

"Berry, please. Come on, it's not that big a deal or anything."

"There are two people, and _only_ two people on earth who actually care about me as a person, and I don't know how long they're going to be around. And you just waltz in and take everything away from me, as usual. You took Finn, then Noah, and now you've given my mom a replacement for me to make your life easy. She didn't like me before, but she was trying, because I was the only one there. And now you've gone and ruined that too. I really hope you rot in hell, Quinn. God knows you deserve it."

* * *

Will stood near one of the windows, watching the sky getting lighter as the sun started peeping over the horizon. His eyes were burning with sleep, but he just couldn't go home without making sure Rachel did the same.

"Mr. Shuester?" Rachel had walked up behind him, and was looking at him evenly. He glanced around behind her, but he couldn't see Shelby anywhere.

"I really appreciate what you're doing right now, but I believe it would be better for you to go home now. It would be good for you to get some rest after all the excitement of yesterday's competition, and I'm sure I'll be fine here for a few hours."

"Rachel, I'm not going to leave you here. Your grandparents will be here in a few hours. I'll wait till then."

"But Mr. Shuester, I honestly don't see the point in you staying here. Like you told everyone else, you'll function better after some sleep. I insist that you go home," said Rachel, looking Will dead in the eye and letting no sign of distress cross her face. This only increased his concern. He knew exactly how sensitive Rachel was, and seeing her like this frightened him more than anything. Although he knew this couldn't be healthy for her, he also didn't know what he could say to make it better.

"It's fine. Really. What difference do a couple of hours make, right?"

"If that's what you feel. But I'd still like to make it very clear that you're under no obligation whatsoever to stay. Anyways, I'm going to see one of the doctors now, since they insist on being difficult and not responding to any of my Post-It notes." And with that, she strode off, leaving Will slightly shocked and extremely worried.

* * *

Dr. Coleman had just entered his cabin and was finding his lab coat when he heard a knock on the door. He hadn't been expecting anyone, since it was only around five in the morning, but he was pretty used to seeing patients at odd hours.

"Come in." He looked up to see a tired looking girl walk in. He couldn't place her, but after scouring his brain for a moment, realized that she was probably a relative of the people who'd been brought in last evening. About time.

"Hello. I'm Rachel Berry. My dads were admitted to the hospital last night, and since then everyone has been refusing to give me any information. I was hoping you could help."

"Yes, I think I can." He was probably one of the few people who wasn't perturbed by Rachel's casual attitude. "Have a seat." He motioned for her to sit as he swiveled around and grabbed the required files.

"Isn't there anyone else from your family here? I'd rather you not discuss this alone."

"No, I'm the only one here, and I don't think it will make a great deal of difference once my grandparents get here. So why don't we do this fast, please?"

"Okay then, I think you've already been to see your Dad, isn't that right?" he asked, waiting for her affirmative nod before continuing. "And I presume you noticed the large amount of machines he was hooked on to? Well, a lot of them are pretty much the only things keeping him alive."

He spread out a large diagram of the human brain in front of her, and pointed to a few different places.

"These are the areas where your Dad suffered from tissue damage. Although there was nothing external, the impact of the crash made his brain physically move from it's position, which is what caused most of the damage. His frontal lobe, which controls long term memory and emotions, is really bashed up, and so is the parietal lobe. That basically means that if he wakes up, there isn't too much chance of him being able to have any recollection of past events, or to be able to use his limbs properly."

"If?" Everything after that word had stopped registering in Rachel's brain.

"If. I'm sorry, Rachel, but I like to keep people fully informed. I can't give you hope when there isn't any. There's very little chance of him waking up, and no chance of him being able to live a normal life."

"What do I do now?" asked Rachel after a few moments. He looked at her kindly, reminding himself that this girl was probably as old as his own daughter, and actually expecting her to take charge of the situation would be stupid.

"Right now, you don't have to do much. All the medical expenses are being covered through the insurance agency, so no need to worry about that. There are two other doctors who have worked on your Dad, but they've not come in yet. I would suggest that you get some rest, and we can maybe discuss some action plan once your grandparents arrive?"

"Like I said, their presence will make no difference at all. In fact, it would be more productive not to have them around. So we can talk as soon as is convenient for you."

"I respect your feelings, but I insist that at least one other adult be there with you. Trust me, it'll be better. And I think that you'll also be meeting with some lawyers tomorrow, or rather later today."

"What for?"

"Just some formalities that need to be dealt with. Nothing much, but they will be verifying the medical insurance claims and things like that."

"Oh, alright then. I suppose we'll be meeting here?"

"If you want, but they could easily come to your house if that's more convenient."

"No. This is fine. How do I get in touch with them?"

"I think they'll call you themselves in a few hours, so don't think about that. For now, I think the best thing for you is sleep. And there is no need to roll your eyes at me. If you don't want to get put of the hospital, then you can even use one of the side-suites. Since your dad is in one of our more upscale rooms, there is a room reserved not far from his in case a relative wants to stay over. You can use that. Just ask for your key at the reception."

Rachel got up, and thanking him for his time, went up to the reception to collect the key. On going up to the fifth floor, she found that it was a pretty nice room, more like a hotel than a hospital. After taking a very short shower, Rachel lay down on the double bed, and collapsed almost the moment her head hit the pillow.

She tossed and turned on the bed for a few hours in a restless sleep. Rachel was too tired for her body to be able to stay awake, but her mind refused to shut down. She kept having dreams which seemed to make little sense; she was out on a field that seemed to stretch in all directions, and then suddenly the grass started growing around her. It shot up rapidly, engulfing Rachel. She could hear someone that sounded a lot like her dad calling her, but try as she may, she couldn't find her way out. She kept moving and moving, but the grass wasn't ending. Then the dream changed, and she was in school. Her World History teacher had moved from the front of the class, and was now standing on top of the desk in front of Rachel, glaring down at her. Now Rachel was shrinking. Smaller and smaller till she popped out of the class. She was falling now, falling really fast and just as she hit the ground, she woke up and found herself on the floor of the room, sweating. That was weird.

After lying on the bed for a few more minutes, Rachel decided that trying to fall asleep again was futile. She found that it was now ten in the morning, late enough for everyone to be up and awake. Maybe she could get some work done now.

* * *

While Rachel had been snoozing, another girl had been getting the shouting of her life. Quinn stood in front of Will and Shelby, and just hung her head as Shelby berated her for being the most irresponsible person on earth. She couldn't help but feel that most of this blame was undeserved. Why kill the messenger, right?

"Are you even _listening_ to me?" Shelby stood over Quinn, her face red from pacing and shouting for the last ten minutes.

"Of course I am. You've been screeching in my ear. I can't not listen."

"This is not funny, Quinn."

"I know that Mr. Shue. But this isn't my fault either. I get that I shouldn't have said anything to Rachel, but are you really telling me that Shelby was doing the right thing by keeping the adoption from her? I mean, seriously, how were you going to hide all this from her? You had to tell her sometime. Better have it out now than let her know later."

"But-"

"Shelby. I think that's enough for now. Quinn, why don't you go to your room? You're supposed to be resting anyways." Quinn nodded gratefully at him and left Shelby and Will alone.

"Why the hell did you let her go?" Shelby had rounded on Will now, her anger still simmering.

"In case you've forgotten, she just had a baby. Keeping her here is bad for her. And anyways, she's right; Rachel would have found out eventually. It is sort of your fault for not discussing this with her as soon as you found out who's kid you would be adopting."

"I didn't want to upset her," said Shelby, biting her lip softly. She really hadn't wanted to upset Rachel, but she had also been a bit scared of Rachel's reaction. Again, her unwillingness to express her emotions or to deal with anyone else's got in her way.

"Don't you think that finding out like this, and at this time, would upset her so much more? It would have gone over better if you'd told her yourself. Maybe then you guys could actually have sorted this out, but now it's not very likely she'll be receptive to whatever you say."

"How the hell was I supposed to know all this would happen? I just wanted a chance to get everything settled, and then I was going to talk to her... Don't look at me like that. I was. Honest."

"Uh huh."

"Don't patronize me. I'm not good at this stuff. I'm just getting used to having other people interested in my life. It'll take some time, so back off."

"Hey, calm down. I'm not trying to accuse you or anything. I can't even imagine how overwhelming this must be for you, but you need to realize that no matter how hard it's for you, it's ten times harder for her. Go and talk to her. Don't be too nervous; remember, she's your responsibility, not the other way around. Just be honest with her, and it'll work out."

"I have to go right now?"

"Right now would be good, yeah."

* * *

When Shelby got to Rachel, who was standing outside her dad's room, she saw that there were already two other people there, and from their age, guessed that they were Rachel's grandparents. As she got closer, she realized that this wasn't some sort of tearful family gathering as she had envisioned. In fact, the three of them seemed to be involved in a heated argument. She thought of letting them be for a moment, but then reconsidered; that was her kid, too, and she probably needed to be there.

"I'm not going anywhere. He's my Dad."

"That's what you say. Who knows whether you're really his daughter? But that's beyond the point. That's my baby boy lying on a hospital bed, and I insist on staying with him. There's really no need for you here anymore." Shelby was so stunned by that woman's attitude that she actually had to stop for a moment. How could anyone be so callous?

"N-No need? Grandma, please. You're being unreasonable. There's no problem in both of us being here. Please." For the first time since last evening, real emotion entered Rachel's voice. She sounded pleading, desperate and the sound of it made Shelby's blood boil. She didn't give a damn who these people were; they had no right to do that to Rachel.

"Do not tell me how to behave, young lady. You're obviously lacking in the courtesy dep-"

"Excuse me, but could I borrow Rachel for a moment?" Shelby cut in, and that earned her a sharp look of disapproval from the woman.

"And who may you be?"

"I'm Shelby Corcoran, Rachel's mom. It's nice to meet you," she said, extending her hand. But the lady looked at it with a faint smirk before trailing her eyes over Shelby, taking in the dusty boots and overall frayed air.

"So now she has a mother too? Interesting family tree, if you ask me."

"Okay, enough. Who exactly gave you the go ahead to torture Rachel?"

"Torture her? _Torture_ her? It's _her_ fault that my son isn't here to talk to me. Why do you think that all this happened? She's unnatural. Their whole life was unnatural. God doesn't accept these things, and my baby is being punished for it now. I will not allow her to go near him. Lord knows what might happen to him then."

"What sort of a sick,warped person are you? Whatever you may think of their family, fact of the matter is that her last name is Berry, just like yours. He thinks she's his daughter, and that should be enough for you to not-" She was cut off by Rachel forcefully grabbing her arm and trying very hard to steer her away.

"No, Rachel. You cannot expect me to keep-"

"Please. Just don't do this."

"That woman is-"

"My Dad's mom. That's who she is. Mom, please just listen to me." And she couldn't say anything against that. So she allowed Rachel to get her away from the hag she wanted so dearly to strangle.

* * *

"What was all that about?" The words were out of her mouth the moment they rounded a corner, but she tried to keep her tone soft so as not to cause any more distress to the girl in front of her.

"My grandparents."

"I got that part. Are you alright?" Damn. She should have asked that first.

"I'm fine."

"Rachel, don't lie to me."

"Why not? You've done the same to me."

"Honey, I didn't lie to you... I admit that I may have kept information from you, but I was going to tell you when I was ready. I didn't mean to hurt you Rachel, or have you find out from someone else."

"But you did. I really appreciate you standing up for me back there, but you did the same thing they were doing."

"Rachel, no. I'm telling you it wasn't intentional. There was so much going on and I wanted to have everything sorted before coming to you."

"That isn't a justification. You told me clearly that you couldn't even be near me, and all that hogwash about 'appreciating each other from a distance'. You forced your way in to my life. I was happy without all that. I used to dream of how you'd be and all the things we would do together. I could have lived on those dreams. But then you had to come in and give me something solid, only to decide that you couldn't handle it. You did all that and didn't even bother about how I was feeling. I needed my mom. I've always needed you, but you took for granted the fact that I didn't. I wanted you to take me in your arms and tell me it would be alright, but I couldn't, because I'd look like a fool. And now you're adopting a child from that bitch-"

"Mind your language. You're angry, baby. It's okay to be angry, but I am your mother, and you do not use such words in front of me. Are we clear?" To her utter surprise, Rachel didn't launch into another 'How-the-hell-are-you-calling-yourself-my-mother?' speech, but instead nodded meekly. She almost looked repentant. Maybe this parenting things wasn't going to be too bad after all.

What Shelby had inadvertently done was give Rachel someone to give the authority too. At the end of the day, Rachel was just a child, and the situation she found herself in rattled her. She kept up a facade in order to stop herself from falling apart, but inside, she was desperately looking for someone she could lean on. Without her parents, there was no one who seemed to provide the reassurance and security she needed. Shelby had done that for her simply by rebuking her, by drawing out lines and making her feel like the sixteen year old she was instead of the sixty year old she was trying to act like.

"Would you like to explain the conversation I just overheard?" When Rachel shook her head affirmatively, Shelby motioned over to a row of steel benches. But Rachel took them to the room she had been sleeping in, since the hospital was now up, awake and noisy. And anyways, she hadn't wanted her dear, loving grandmother to come and find her. When they got there, Rachel sat down and tried to explain as much to Shelby as she knew herself.

Although her dads had tried very hard to shield her from the worst of the family politics, she knew that homophobia was present on both sides. Daddy's parents had never contacted him as far as she could remember, and she only knew of them by name.

Her Dad's mom and papa were slightly better. They didn't understand or accept who he was, but they adored their son too much to cut him out of their lives. So there were awkward monthly dinners and polite birthday exchanges. They had never behaved the way they did today, but there was always an undercurrent of tension whenever they were in the house. Both her fathers emphasized the importance of family to Rachel, and made sure that she, at least, was always courteous and welcoming to them.

Rachel remembered that her grandparents were always rude to her Daddy, but he would just smile and brush it off. At that time, she'd wondered how he did it. She had also been amazed at the fact that her Dad never said anything, since the one thing in the world that could really make him angry was someone insulting his family. But today, she understood. No matter how they behaved, they were his parents, and that was reason enough to ignore their behavior. Seeing her own parents like this made her realize that she would do anything to keep them in her life, and made her pity her Daddy for the rejection he suffered.

And now that her dads weren't in any condition to deal with the drama, she didn't know what to do. Her grandmother was not toning down her prejudice, and seeing her son so bruised up only made her worse. Rachel was afraid that she'd find some way to stop Rachel from being able to see her dad, or to know how he was. Her ACLU threats weren't going to work here even if she was strong enough to try them. Right now, she just didn't want to upset her grandparents enough to make them actually do anything, since Rachel had no idea if and how she could stop them. Which was why she had taken Shelby away from there. She knew of Coach Corcoran's infamous temper, and didn't want a live preview.

At the end of her story, Rachel was almost shivering with the recollection of those incidents. Shelby walked up to her and ran her hands down Rachel's arms, trying to chase the goosebumps away. And when Rachel looked up at her she could, for the first time, actually see something in her daughter's eyes. She saw all that pain and fear and apprehension, and knew right there that they did connect, perfectly so. The only reason that there had been so many barriers between them was her own hesitation and preconceived notions about not being needed in Rachel's life. But that was all over now. It would take a lot of time and effort to overcome her own demons, but they would get there. Shelby was sure of that.

* * *

"Quinn, may I come in?" To say that Quinn was surprised to see Rachel at her door would be an understatement. She forced herself to keep an open mind and nodded at the brunette.

"Thank you. I'd like to apologize for what I said to you. It was uncalled for, especially since you were trying to be helpful. I would bake you a batch of my 'I'm sorry' cookies, but... Well, anyways, how are you now?"

"I'm as good as possible. Walking is a pain, but my mom said that was normal, and I'm relatively lucky."

"That's nice.I.. Um, I guess I should be going. You need to rest, I suppose."

"No. Stay. I mean, if you don't have anything to do," said Quinn, a little awkwardly. But at least she said it. And Rachel was equally awkward as she came and sat on one of the recliners. She couldn't help but wonder how expensive this hospital was. Or maybe this was one of those upscale rooms as well.

"So..." both girls spoke at the same time and immediately stopped to let the other go on, thus ensuring that silence reigned for the next few minutes. But it gradually stopped being tense and the atmosphere relaxed, prompting Rachel to speak.

"So you'll be living with Shelby now?"

"I'm not really sure. Let's see how it works out with my mom and stuff. I might be, but not for long or anything. I'll clear out soon, don't worry."

"I didn't mean it like that. I was just curious. Please don't be hesitant on my account. I'm sure it'll be better for Beth if you help them adjust for the first few months." Rachel looked at Quinn sincerely, and the blonde in turn offered her a slight smile.

"I guess. I'll think about it some more. I don't actually have to decide till day after."

"Good. Take your time, and just do what's best for both of you." Quinn was almost glad to see the old Rachel again; the sweet and caring and considerate girl as opposed to the terror she'd encountered earlier.

"I'll try... I hated her, you know?" said Quinn after some time. She saw the confusion on Rachel's face and decided to clarify.

"Beth. I hated her when I found out I was pregnant. For months I was praying so, so hard that something would go wrong," Quinn laughed a humorless laugh as she said that, ashamed at herself for being who she was."Oh, I know I sound like a heartless bitch. Maybe I was. I just wanted my life back. But when everyone found out, it became too real to ignore. I accepted the fact that there was this little baby inside me, and I couldn't do anything about it."

Rachel listened to what Quinn was saying with rapt attention. She wasn't sure where the other girl was going, or why she was talking to Rachel of all people, but she didn't interrupt. She sensed that Quinn needed to get this out, and if she stopped her, the flow would be broken.

"But I still didn't like her. I know that people are supposed to connect with their baby when they see the sonogram or feel the first kick or something, but I just didn't. Finn did, even Puck, and I felt that they were stupid; too emotional. And then Karofsky pushed me. The whole Gaga thing. I was so scared. I was terrified that something had happened to her, and I couldn't breathe." A thin film of tears had formed over Quinn's eyes by now, and she was gazing off into space, not acknowledging Rachel at all.

"After that, I knew I loved her. I loved her more that I ever though I could possibly love anybody. I would just sit and feel her for hours. Puck came in sometimes, and I was almost jealous when she kicked at his hand. I felt so awed by the fact that there was a life inside me, and that I was responsible for keeping it safe. It overwhelmed me, but it got me through everything. If she would be healthy, it'd all be worth it." The first tear was making it's way down her cheek, and she didn't care to wipe it away.

"And it was. The delivery room was all forms of hell rolled into one, but God, it was so worth it. My gorgeous baby. I went through so much pain to bring her into this world, and I'd go through a lot more to keep her happy. Shelby would do that for you." Now, she looked Rachel dead in the eye, wanting to make sure that the brunette registered what she said.

This was her redemption. For her selfishness, her presumptuousness, and her utter callousness. She was laying herself bare in front of the one person who would have the most to gain by ripping her apart, but also the one who would be most comforted by what she said.

"I'm not pretending I know your mom, but I know that she would do anything to keep you happy. I know that, because I have a daughter who won't be mine in a few months, but who'll always be the most precious person in my life. I can have ten kids after this, but she'll be my fist child. She'll always have that place for me, just like you do for Shelby. Beth or any other child won't replace you. Trust me." And Rachel did trust her, for some reason neither of them could understand. She walked up to the girl and wiped away the errant tears.

"Can you go now, please. I'm sorry, but I'd rather just be alone."

Rachel nodded and went up to the door. She stood there for a moment before turning around.

"Thank you." And then she left Quinn alone to deal with emotions that the blonde never knew she'd repressed.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Thank you all so so so much for all the reviews/story alerts. Point out typo's. I didn't get time to check this before posting.

Tortured reader: Thank you for reviewing. I don't know if you're still reading, but hope you are. I get that you think this story is utter crap, which it may be, but I'd like to know more about how to improve. Writing is more a hobby for me than anything. Never taken classes, am studying engineering, so I'd love to get tips on how exactly to improve.:)

Ailed: Thank you:)

Kristen: Thanks:) Here's the next chapter. Will try to work on the length, but sometimes it just doesn't come.

Alex: Here it is:)

I'm thinking of Archer and James as the Dad's names. How's that? And suggestions for the grumpy grandparents names are welcome.


	4. Chapter 4 Fallen

**Title:** Anthem Of The Angels

**Chapter: **Fallen

**Pairing: **Quinn/Rachel

**Rating: **PG-13. Has a death theme, but no character death.

**Spoilers: **Takes place after EP22 'Journey'. May contain spoilers.

**Timeline:** The Day After C3. Afternoon-ish at the start of the chapter.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee, the songs, or even the characters.

**Author's Note:**Un-beta-ed so feel free to point out errors. Happy Reading and please R&R. Reviews are my lifeline. **Please read A/N at end**. Story Title is the name of a song by Breaking Benjamin. Chapter title is from Sarah McLachlan.

* * *

"No."

"But what's your problem? It's not like you care about her anyway."

"You said it yourself, Ms. Corcoran. Rachel is my granddaughter, whether I like it or not. It is, therefore, my responsibility to keep her safe."

"And you've done a _wonderful_ job of it so far, haven't you? There is no way in hell I will allow you to keep my baby at your house and torment her. She doesn't need your snide comments right now."

"I... I realize that I may have been unnecessarily harsh. But that is between the two of us. She will be staying with us, and that is final."

"You're staying in a damn hotel. I have a five bedroom house."

"We will obviously be shifting into Archer's house for the time being."

"Are you demented? You really think it'll be good for her to go to her house right now? James is _dead_. He's gone. And you want to take her into a house that's plastered up and down with pictures of the three of them?"

"Do you expect us to stay in a hotel till Archer gets better?"

"You can stay wherever the hell you wish. Rachel's staying with me, and that's final." Shelby wanted this conversation to be over as fast as possible, since she didn't think she could hear another word that woman had to say without ripping her head off.

"Ah, Rachel's here. Why don't we let her decide?" She gave Rachel a simpering smile as the girl came closer, trying to discern the reason for her grandmother's sudden change of heart.

"Decide what?" She looked from one woman to the other, trying to make sense of the hostile atmosphere. Ideally, her grandmother should have been on one of her long morning walks by now. Janice Berry was very particular about her health, amongst other things. She could always be found explaining how she didn't wish to end up a 'fat, waddling mass of black' who couldn't get out of a chair without help.

"Living arrangements. Would you prefer to stay with us at our house, or with Ms. Corcoran?" Janice fixed Rachel with a pointed look, the expected answer written all over her face.

"Um... can't I just stay here? I can get some clothes and other things from home, but staying here isn't a problem."

"Rachel, I think it'll be better for you to stay away from the hospital for a bit. Honey, you need to get out of here."

"But I'd rather stay with Daddy."

"I know that, but Rachel, it won't do Archer any good if you make yourself sick. You can still come and see him everyday, and the hospital will inform us the moment there's any change in his condition. Trust me, the change of environment will be better for everyone." Rachel looked up at Shelby and then at Janice uncertainly.

"I don't know, mom. I don't think staying with you will help, with Beth coming as well. I don't want to get in the way."

"So you want to stay with your grandparents, then?" Shelby wasn't quite sure how to proceed. She didn't want to force Rachel to stay with her, but she also had a sneaking suspicion that the girl was simply a bit intimidated by her grandmother. There was no way she would actually want to stay with her grandparents of her own free will.

"I don't want to go home without Daddy." Shelby glared up at Janice, who met her eyes with an equally fierce look.

"Rachel, just come with me."

"But Quinn and Beth?"

"Have you seen my house? You can easily stay there without even having to look at them if you don't want to."

"Who are Quinn and Beth? Are you gay too?" Janice was getting impatient at not being able to follow the conversation.

"I-I'm- What? I am _not_ gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But I'm not. And Quinn and Beth are none of your business."

"Mom! Don't be rude. Grandma, Quinn is a classmate of mine, and Beth is her daughter, who Shelby is adopting."

"This just gets better and better. So this Quinn girl is in your class, and she's also the mother of your sister. So she's basically like your mother. Only younger."

"Yes. Glad we got that sorted. Now as I was saying, just try it out, Rachel. The only reason Quinn's actually coming is so you don't get disturbed by Beth. We want you to be comfortable. And if you don't like it, Quinn can obviously move back home."

"I guess I could try. I mean, only if Grandma is okay with it."

"Of course she's okay with it if it makes you happy. Isn't that right?" Shelby jumped in before Janice had the chance to say anything, leaving the woman with no option but to nod sourly.

"Brilliant. Right, we need to get moving. Janice, you said you'd be staying with Archer for some time. So then Rachel and I are going to go and get her settled in. See you later." And before Janice could start again, Shelby took Rachel's hand and guided her out of the lobby.

* * *

"I think I got everything. Just check once." Shelby was leaning over one of her car windows and talking to Rachel, who was still sitting inside. The car was parked just outside the Berry's house, and Rachel hadn't gotten out, letting Shelby go in and get all the things she required. She wasn't ready to step into her house yet. Her dads had always been very big on family pictures, and as a result, a lot of the walls of their house were covered in various pictures of Rachel with her dads, something she just didn't want to look at.

"Yeah. That's all the stuff I need. Thank you."

"Not a problem. Sweetie, are you sure that you don't want to go in?" Rachel shook her head once, and Shelby didn't push it further. Not yet, but she would soon have to talk to Rachel about James. They needed to decide the funeral details. But for now, she was just focusing on getting Rachel to her house.

They drove in silence for about half an hour before entering Shelby's driveway. The 'house' as she has called it was more of a mansion. Rachel absently noted that Shelby had to be very rich. After all, Vocal Adrenaline had one hell of a budget.

The interior of the house matched the imposing exterior. It was very tastefully done up, obviously the work of an experienced designer, but Rachel noticed that there was no warmth in the house. All the elements came together wonderfully, but it was nothing more than a work of art. There were no personal touches, no photographs, no trophies either. Just bare walls and furniture. It made her miss her own home even more, and wonder exactly how lonely a life her mother had led.

"Honey?" Rachel had been so engrossed in her thoughts, that she hadn't notice Shelby reach the top of the stairs.

"Coming." She climbed up and Shelby led her to the last door down the hall, which opened to one of the spare rooms. Shelby had given Rachel a room that was neither too far nor too close from her own. She wanted Rachel to feel like she had her own space. When she'd had this house built, the sole purpose was to give everyone and anyone who stayed here enough space. She couldn't help but want to escape from the cramped quarters of her childhood. The entire family had lived in a one bedroom apartment; all six of them.

Shelby could still close her eyes and remember the shoving and pushing for space, the constant taunts about how they took up too much room, about how none of them should have even been born. As if it was her fault. And then when one night her brother had... but then that was something she'd put out of her mind too long ago to bring back now. She shook her head slightly to derail her train of thoughts and turned to Rachel, who hadn't said anything yet.

"Do you like it? Because there are other rooms as well. I just thought-"

"Mom. It's fine. It's nice actually." And it was; the room was, as the others, pretty bare, but it was light and airy, opening up to the view of a nearby park.

"Oh. Good. Well, I'll let you settle in. All the cupboards are empty. And the bathroom is the second door on the right from here. Mine's four doors left." Shelby stood there a bit awkwardly, looking around the room, one hand on the door frame, the other in her pocket.

She was suddenly feeling strangely nervous having Rachel in her house. Not only was she going to be sharing a house with another person for the first time in over six years, this person was her daughter, and it scared her to death. She'd never been a people's person to begin with, which was part of the reason for her not succeeding on Broadway, and now she wasn't sure if she could be what Rachel needed. She loved the girl like crazy, and would do whatever she could to make Rachel's life easier, but would that be enough?

"-and then maybe you could get some rest too. You have been awake for longer than me, after all." She hadn't managed to catch what Rachel was saying, but nodded anyways, getting the general idea.

"Okay. Great. I'll go now. Just holler if you need anything." Holler? Shelby almost banged her head on the door. _Holler_? Good God. She glanced over at Rachel to see the girl giving her a bewildered smile.

"I'll do that." Rachel couldn't help but be amused at Shelby's obvious discomfort. It almost made her forget her Dad's condition for a moment. She waited for Shelby to leave for a few minutes, but her mom just stood there, glancing around. When it became obvious that she wasn't planning to move anytime soon, Rachel thought it might be good to give her a little push.

"Mom? Maybe you should go take a shower now?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Shower." And she walked off, shaking her head at her craziness. Shelby Corcoran was not going to be reduced to a nervous heap by her own daughter. But as she managed to trip over the carpet for probably the first time in her life, she reconsidered.

* * *

Shelby had just walked out of the shower when she saw her phone buzzing away at the bedside table. On picking it up, Jesse St. James's name flashed across the screen at her, accompanied by a picture of the boy she had taken when he had erupted in pimples. The incident still brought a smile to her face.

"Corcoran."

"Hello, ma'am. This is Jesse." She still couldn't figure out why he felt the need to introduce himself every time he called. He still seemed to be living somewhere in the fifth century. The over-courteous, over-chivalrous, and male-chauvinist attitude had made them get off to the wrong start initially, but when she had shown him that she could wrap a high F around her little finger and still bend him backwards, he'd conceded defeat and acknowledged that 'girls' could run the show too.

"What is it, St. James?"

"I... Um, I heard about Rachel's dads. You know about that, right?"

"Yes, Jesse, I know about that." She tapped her fingers impatiently on the table, waiting for him to get on with it.

"Yeah, I figured you must know. That's kinda why I called, actually. I can't get through to Rachel's cell, and I thought she must be with you. Can I speak to her?"

"She's not free right now. Any message?" Rachel was actually rather free at the moment. She was downstairs, trying to figure out how the coffee machine worked, even though Shelby had said that she would do it. Rachel wanted to keep herself occupied for some time, and Shelby let her be.

She could have called Rachel, but she wasn't very sure of Jesse's motives this time around. It hadn't been her brightest idea to trust the boy in the first place, but she had forgiven him for the egging incident after a lot of punishment that involved blocked toilet drains. It had partially been her fault for letting him string Rachel along in the first place, but she wasn't keen on repeating that mistake.

"Er... Yeah. Can you tell her I'm really sorry about what happened to her? I mean, I know how it's like, you know? So yeah, I'm just sorry she's in that place, and if she can forgive me for the... incident, then I'll be there if she needs to talk. As a friend, Ms. Corcoran. Promise."

"Uh huh. I'll be sure to tell her. I'm sure she'll appreciate your concern, Jesse." She softened her tone a little, not having forgotten the fact that Jesse had, in fact, lost his elder brother to cancer a few years ago. It hadn't been a good time for him, and Lucas's death had served to drive his family even further apart than it had been before.

"Okay, then. Will you be coming for the ceremony at school?" He was, of course, referring to the assembly held in Vocal Adrenaline's honor to formally present their trophy and sponsor awards to them in front of Carmel High.

"I don't think so. Steal the show, St. James, will you?"

"Yes Ma'am. Bye."

"Goodbye." As Shelby put the phone down, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," she shouted to Rachel, already halfway down the stairs. On looking at the surveillance camera footage, she saw Kurt Hummel of all people standing outside her door, primly pivoting around on the balls of his feet.

Kurt Hummel; father Burt Hummel, automobile engineer, mother Clarissa Hummel, deceased newspaper reporter. Shoot. She had to get out of the habit of memorizing people's bio data.

Shelby opened the door, abruptly bringing Kurt out of his reverie. He had been wondering how Shelby and Rachel were even related. Not that Rachel was poor, far from it, but still. Rachel was all about sales and discounts and sweaters, whereas Shelby was the very personification of elegance. Maybe the turkey baster had messed with her.

"Hello, Ms. Corcoran. I believe we've met before, but still, I'm Kurt Hummel, one of Rachel's teammates," he said, extending his hand towards Shelby. She shook it, not taking as much notice of his moisturizer as of the fact that he introduced himself as a teammate and not friend.

"I realize that she may not wish to... socialize at this point, but I would appreciate it if I could just speak to her for some time."

"Kurt, this is really very sweet of you, but maybe you should wait for a few days?"

"I understand your concern, Ms. Corcoran, and I'm not pretending to be an expert on the subject, but I think that it might be better for Rachel to talk to people a bit more. You know, to not let her retreat into a shell at all rather than have to pull her out. Honestly, when my mother died, I used to get rather frustrated with everyone treating me so differently. Just a few minutes, Ms. Corcoran. I'll go if she's uncomfortable."

"It's Shelby and I suppose a few minutes won't hurt," she said as she stepped to the side, giving him entry into her house. Not only did she think that he made sense, but that midget actually stood up to her. He earned points for guts if nothing else. She mentally made a note to book an appointment with a therapist for Rachel.

* * *

"Quinnie, please don't do this. Come home with me." Judy was sitting by Quinn's hospital bed, pleading with her daughter to change her mind. She had stormed out in a furious rage when she'd heard that Quinn had agreed to stay with Shelby, but was back now, slightly calmer and a whole lot more worried.

"Mom, I'm not doing _anything_ to you. I have to go there, or she won't be able to take care of Beth properly. You want that?" Quinn knew why her mom was so angry, but she was too tired right now to argue.

"Oh, baby, of course I don't want that. You know I want her to be treated like a little princess. And we can do that. At our house. Why aren't you seeing that? You don't need to do this anymore, Quinn. Just tell that woman that you changed your mind. It's not too late. We can just take Beth home and be a real family again." Seeing the painfully hopeful look on her mother's face made Quinn feel sorry for her and even more comfortable about her decision to give Beth to Shelby. Her mother loved her, but lived in a fantasy land. Perhaps this was the result of living under Russell's thumb for so many years, but the fact was that Judy liked to imagine that her world was perfect and that all problems that couldn't be solved could be ignored. Children couldn't grow up with that sort of a person without it having some effect on their personalities.

"It's too late for that, Mom. I'm sorry, but I can't just back out of this. We're not trading fruits here."

"Don't be ridiculous. I know perfectly well who we're talking about. She's your daughter and I know that you have the right to take her home with us if you want to. You're just doing this to punish me. This isn't right, Quinn." Judy was getting more edgy now as she saw that Quinn really wasn't going to listen to her.

"_Punish_ you? Are you serious? Believe it or not, this has _nothing_ to do with you. Mom, I can't keep her. I just can't, okay? I swear I'll come home soon, but you need to let me get all this in place. It's been months now. Just a few more weeks."

"Okay, sweetie. If you say so." Quinn could hear how unsure Judy sounded even through her haze of painkillers.

"Mom, I'll come. Just wait for me, okay?"

Fact of the matter was that Quinn was almost relieved that she didn't have to go home so soon. She knew that her father had been 'kicked out', but the thought of going back still made her uneasy. She had gotten so used to her mom not standing up for her that she wasn't sure if this time was permanent. At least this way there would be some time for the situation with her parent's to solidify. If they said she couldn't come back while she was still at Shelby's, it would be bearable, but if she moved back in and then her Dad made an entry, she wasn't sure she'd be able to handle the rejection all over again.

"I always do."

"No. Not always." Judy turned away at that, trying yet again to ignore how she had behaved in the past months.

* * *

Rachel was just putting away the last of the things in the duffel bag that she'd brought over when there was a knock on the door. She didn't understand why Shelby was being so hesitant around her. It's not like they were in Rachel's house or anything, and the door was wide open.

"Mom, I told- Oh, Hello Kurt. I didn't expect to see you here." She looked at the boy standing at her door, not a little curious as to why he was here.

"It's alright. I probably should have informed you, but your phone was unavailable."

"Battery died."

"It's irritating when that happens, isn't it? Can I come in?"

"Of course... Have a seat."

"Thank you... So, are you doing alright?"

"I'm perfectly alright, thank you. What happened was ... unexpected, but I'm getting accustomed to it. "

"Good. I was actually here to talk to you about that. I know that our interactions in the past could hardly be described as friendly, but still, if you're alright with it, I'd like to start afresh." He relaxed a little more as Rachel smiled at his words.

"I'm sure we can work something out. After all, reconciling past differences will be most conductive to our performances. Perhaps we can actually succeed next time."

"Hopefully. Um... I brought you something," he said, pulling a book out of his bag. "Don't worry, it's not some sort of self help manual. I tried those and found that most of the things in them were just plain common sense, or just plain weird."

"You brought me an old joke book?"

"It's not _old_, Rachel. The word is vintage. And yes, I did know what I was getting. I found that there were really only two ways to handle more situations- tears or laughter. Of course, you may go for the more unaffected diva look, but that only works at certain moments," he said, smiling when Rachel slowly nodded her approval," and so this is a good way to diffuse the more... difficult moments. Trust me, it's good."

"I thought you used 'Vogue' magazine to de-stress."

"Well, while I won't argue to the effectiveness of that method for myself, I really don't think it'll be of much use to you. And anyways, what you need is beyond the scope of that. You need something more... personal. Someone to pick and choose dresses and accessories tailor-made to suit your personality."

"Like a shopping assistant?" Rachel hesitantly asked Kurt, who's face became a mask of horror at her words. She thought she knew where he was going with it, and somehow the idea didn't appeal to her.

"Shopping assistant'? Honestly, Rachel. I would have expected better from you. I was talking about a personal fashion stylist. All the celebrities have them, you'd just be starting a little early."

"Kurt Hummel, I would like to remind you of the fact that my long term memory is still very much intact. And even if it wasn't, I would still remember the debacle that was your idea of a make-over. There is about as much chance of you getting near my wardrobe as there is of Barbra Streisand missing a note."

"She did actually-"

"Do not even complete that sentence. Just because your auditory nerves are damaged does not mean that you may insinuate that the greatest singer of all time -"

"Point taken. Thou shall never insult the Streisand. Now, as I was saying before you interrupted, you need a stylist. Not just someone who can dictate what you wear, but someone who can dictate the way you think about clothes."

"My clothes are an expression of me. Weren't you the one who said we shouldn't change just because other people say so?"

"What I said was that we must not conform to ridiculous norms laid down by imbeciles. That does not mean one cannot adapt if one feels that a change may be beneficial. I admit that my motives were not... pure,-" he stopped speaking for a moment as Rachel snorted," pure, but it's not the case now. I'm actually trying to help you. This time, I don't want to pick and chose any particular types of clothes and make you wear them. We're going shopping, and I'll be teaching you how to make informed, effective decisions about your outfits. You're under no compulsion to take my advice against your instincts, but there will be certain rules."

"You're making it sound like I've agreed to this preposterous plan."

"Haven't you?" He leaned back, smiling at her, but this time it didn't look predatory.

"I suppose it couldn't hurt."

* * *

"Dude, where were you? You've been gone for, like, four hours. And it's a Sunday."

"I went to pick up a few things."

"But you don't have anything with you." Kurt stopped riffling through his collection of night suits, shocked that Finn had actually managed to notice that.

"Well yes, I didn't go for myself."

"Oh. Cool. Anyways, you know how I can figure out where Rachel is? Cause her phone's not working, and no one's picking up at her house."

"That's because everyone's at the hospital, Finn."

"Oh, yeah. So do I go there and stuff? I think she wants to see me."

Kurt looked at Finn's expectant face and sighed. What he had said to Rachel was true; he wasn't trying to keep her and Finn apart, and he wasn't even in love with Finn himself. And even then he thought it might be a better idea to keep Finn away from Rachel for the time being.

Although he knew that they had managed to work out their differences, living with Finn had made him realize that Finn wasn't all that brilliant. He was a nice boy, who would eventually grow up to be a nice man, but he would really never get beyond being nice, and Rachel needed something beyond that. And Kurt wasn't even sure how long Finn would pay attention to Rachel. He wouldn't cheat on her, not at this time, but Finn had a tendency of getting bored of what he had. He'd liked Rachel when he had Quinn, then he'd gotten Rachel and dumped her. Then he wanted her again when she wasn't available. And the Santana disaster wasn't even to be mentioned. Sex-which-must-not-be-named.

"Finn, maybe it would be a better idea to give her some time to process things? I'm sure she'd love to see you, but I think she needs more time with her family right now." He was glad when Finn simply nodded his approval, thanked Kurt for the advice, and went out to get some food. Kurt sat down with a rather uncharacteristic thump, exhausted by the sheer efforts it had taken to revamp Rachel's wardrobe.

* * *

_"Essential rules; no animal print sweaters. Actually, no sweaters period. And also, no fluorescents." Kurt dragged Rachel along what seemed to be rows and rows of clothes. He hadn't given her much time to think after she'd said that she'd go with him. He didn't want her to dwell on things and change her mind. As a result, she was now being bombarded with random clothes that Kurt kept throwing her way, trying not to collapse with a heroic balancing act._

_"Oh my God, will you look at this? Travesty. This is precisely the type of thing you would want to avoid. The thing is, you're short enough to begin with, and horizontal stripes just make you look teenier and wider. And obviously the color doesn't do wonders for your skin, right? ... Rachel? Where on earth... Oh no you don't. Do not even look in that direction. Do I need to put blinkers on you? Stay away from the the damn frilly blouses. Please."_

_"Kurt, they look cute."_

_"I'm sure they did, somewhere in the eighteenth century. Why must you insist on dressing like an old hag?"_

_"I do not dress like a hag. I don't even understand why you're so obsessed with clothes. You spend so much money buying clothes and shoes an whatnot from all these designers when the only reason they're so absurdly expensive is because they have a label on them. I mean, look at that dress. It's a piece of cloth stitched together with one single line going across it, for two thousand dollars. Two thousand dollars. I could fund a new auditorium for that much."_

_"That 'piece of cloth' has been designed by Michael Kors. Do you even know what an icon he is? His style, his- his versatility are world renowned. That dress is so expensive because Michael takes something as simple as a 'piece of cloth' and turns it into a classic... Why do I even bother with you?" he said at the dumbfounded expression on Rachel's face._

_"Aside from the fact that your speech revealed a bordering-on-obsessive hero worship of Mr. Kors, what purpose does it serve? I still don't understand why fashion is so important to you. Or anyone, for that matter."_

_"Why's music so important to you? I've seen the way you sing, Rachel. Those are real emotions. You express everything through your voice, but not everyone has that choice. So we turn to things like art or drama or fashion. They're all essentially forms of self expression. And the funny thing about you is that you are particular about clothes. I know people who could wear anything or nothing, but you're not like that. You specifically pick out clothes that look terrible on you, and you refuse to wear anything that may flatter you."_

_"What rubbish. Why would I do that?"_

_"You tell me." But Kurt sensed that he had pushed a button that was a little too personal for Rachel. He had no doubt that she would ignore this comment and change the topic._

_"Your original intention was to make me shop, isn't that correct? Then can you get a move on, please. These clothes are rather heavy."_

* * *

On the other side of town, Shelby was sitting in her bedroom, the door securely locked behind her. She had the card of her own shrink in her hand. He was based in New York, where she'd met him when his own practice had just kicked off, and now he had a clinic in Ohio as well, where she'd go ever so often for a little session. And now she was contemplating calling him for Rachel. Although she wasn't sure she wanted Rachel to see the same therapist she did, maybe she could get a recommendation for someone else.

"Hello? This is Shelby Corcoran. Could I have a word with Dr. Elliot?"

"Please hold on for a second, I'll put you through." Shelby smiled at the fact that Daniel had kept the same assistant for the last fifteen years. The woman was brilliant, and she wondered how much he must be paying her for all the work she did.

"Shelby? How come you're remembering me all of a sudden?" Daniel's velvety voice floated over the phone, again making Shelby wonder how the hell this guy had managed to remain single for so long. He was one of the very few men whom Shelby had actually been more that remotely charmed by, and she couldn't fathom how he didn't have five kids running around by now.

"Hello, Daniel. Nice to see you still haven't learnt basic courtesy."

"And I'm sad that I've still not managed to make you realize it's a waste of time. Now tell me, what is it? You don't often find time to talk to little old me outside of our appointments."

"That's because you don't let me get a word in edgewise. Okay, now the thing is that Rachel needs a therapist."

"Rachel Berry?"

"That's the one. Her dads were in an accident, and... and one of them didn't make it. Archer's still alive, but he's not doing well either. And I just think that Rachel needs a little guidance right now. So I want you to recommend a shrink for her."

"Must you call us shrinks? I find it degrading. And plus, why do I need to recommend someone? I have time right now, holiday season and all."

"I'd prefer someone else."

"Shelby, you do realize that I believe in doctor-patient confidentiality, right? Seeing the two of you separately wouldn't actually be an issue for me. But if you're not comfortable with it, I could send you a number. Dr. Walsh is one of my old colleagues, and she specializes in teen psychology."

"Send it. The faster I can get an appointment, the better."

"Uh huh. Shelby, have you even talked to Rachel about any of this?"

"Um.. No. But I'll tell her after I actually get a hold of Dr. Walsh. It'll be faster like that."

"Shelby, it doesn't work like that. I suggest you speak to her about this first, and then think of booking appointments. Maybe she already has a therapist. Or maybe she doesn't want to go to one. A lot of children don't deal with therapists well in these sort of situations. You need to talk to her calmly first or she might feel you're imposing something on her."

"But why won't she be okay with it?"

"That's a bit hard to explain. Firstly, many people assume that seeing a psychiatrist means that you're a nut. Might be true for some people, but not generally. She could take offense at the fact that you feel she needs a doctor. And also, seeing a therapist requires you to share your emotions with a complete stranger. Rachel might not be comfortable with that."

"So what do I do?" said Shelby, not seeing Daniel smile at the other end of the phone. He was constantly amused by how Shelby needed a manual to be able to navigate basic situations. She wasn't big on gut instinct.

"Like I said, talk to her. Tell her why you think it's a good idea for her to see someone. Don't make her feel that you're too overwhelmed or anything. Remember, you're the adult there. So you stay calm. And make sure she knows that it's her choice."

"Okay. I can do that... I'm getting another call. See you in some time, Dr. E. Bye." She switched calls and found herself speaking to Quinn.

"Hi, Quinn. How are you now?"

"I'm good. Painkillers are a gift from God. I wanted to tell you that all my discharge papers are ready. So I can get out of here today, if that's okay with you."

"That's fantastic. You can come straight away. Need me to pick you up?"

"No, that's fine. My mom said she'll drop me. So I'll be there in about two hours."

"You have the address with you, right?"

"Yeah, it's right here. I'll call if there's a problem."

"Okay. See you guys in a few hours." Shelby hung up, her hands shaking with excitement. She couldn't wait to finally have Beth home. As she was getting up to check if everything in the nursery was perfect, she suddenly deflated, sitting back down. She needed to talk to Rachel first; about Quinn coming so soon, and about Dr. Walsh.

* * *

"Wow, you've been busy." Shelby stood at Rachel's door, looking at the heap of clothes on the bed. Rachel was plonked down in the middle of the heap, doing a startlingly good impression of Brittany's blank expression. She looked up with start at Shelby's voice, and then looked down at the clothes again. Shelby smiled at the display and came and sat on the edge of Rachel's bed. The lights weren't on, so the only illumination was from the hallway lamps and they cast a warm evening glow on the room.

"So... Why are you staring at your clothes like that?"

"I bought all of this in one day. One day. I probably don't buy these many clothes in a year."

"First time for everything, honey. When I first got to New York, I spent half the money in my account on pizza. In two days. Then I had to starve for a month."

"Oh. Okay."

"Rachel, it's okay to just freak out once in a while. Stop thinking about it so much."

"But Mom, I was gone for hours. What if something had happened to Daddy and you couldn't reach me? I didn't even think of that. It was irrespo-"

"Calm down, Rachel. Just calm down. Nothing happened to Archer, and if it had, you know I would have gotten to you somehow. Baby, it's okay to not be miserable about this all the time. What had to happen happened, and you getting yourself down won't help your Dad. He'll probably feel better if you enjoy yourself. So don't feel guilty for not being worried 24/7."

"But Mom, he's in the hospital. And I went shopping. Clothes shopping, for God's sake, with Kurt Hummel." Rachel looked up at Shelby beseechingly, almost begging her to berate Rachel and make her realize how she shouldn't have enjoyed herself.

"_And_? Rachel, listen to me; you can't do anything to help Archer except keep your spirits up. And the best way to do that is to go out and meet your friends. Don't try to keep being miserable, Rachel. You're going to need your strength and a lot of happy times to keep you going till the time Archer gets better. So just do all this more often... Ease up on the actual buying, though. I _do_ want to go to a nice retirement home." Shelby smiled at Rachel and was relieved when the girl returned her smile with a trademark Rachel Berry grin.

"That's my girl. Now get up and help me move this mountain to your cupboard. And lend Kurt to me for some time. Nice choice."

They spent the next half an hour meticulously folding and putting away all the clothes Rachel had bought. At the end of it, they were both exhausted. Shelby sat down on the floor and checked her watch. Quinn would reach in an hour or so if she wasn't late, and it would probably be better to talk to Rachel before that.

"Rachel, come and sit down for a minute. You can color code later. I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Is it about Dad?" Rachel had come and sat next to Shelby, leaning against the bed.

"Not exactly, although I would want to know a little more about that too. But I actually wanted to talk to you about... Um, I was wondering if you ever saw a therapist?" She was praying to every God she'd ever heard of to make Rachel stay there and talk.

"Regularly. My Dads thought that seeing a therapist during my rather... interesting middle school years would be beneficial to my emotional development. Although I had stopped seeing him after Glee Club really took shape, I had gone in for another session when I found out about us." She looked away from Shelby for a moment and then gave her a smile. "It wasn't what I would call a traumatic revelation exactly, but my Dads wanted me to have professional guidance in case I may have had some repressed emotions."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Like I said, it wasn't very disturbing, just a rather significant event."

"Kind of like right now. Rachel, you think you might want to go and see Dr. .. What's his name?"

"Brintwick."

"Dr. Brintwick, then. Would you like to see him again?"

"I'd rather not, thank you."

"Rachel, I won't tell you to do something if you really don't want to, but I think it'll be better for you if you do."

"Why? I mean, I'm behaving properly, aren't I? And if you're uncomfortable with any of this, my grandmother has offered me alternate housing options. I don't require a therapist."

"Sweetheart, stop it. This has nothing to do with me. Like I said, you don't want to go if you don't have to, but I can tell you from experience that it really helps. I want you to have every option and facility that'll make you comfortable right now, and I really think that some counseling could help. For me, it was a life saver. You know that I'm not the most friendly person on earth, and I found it so much easier to talk to this complete stranger than I did to most people I knew. It's just a way of getting things off your chest."

"What about your family?" Rachel looked at Shelby, noticing the way her face hardened for a moment, before she took a breathe and erased the emotion from her face.

"Let's just say we're not on great terms. But that's not important. Will you just try it once? Please."

"I suppose one session could be acceptable. But just the one. And I'd rather not see Dr. Brintwick, if that's alright?"

"Sure. I spoke to my shrink, and he gave me the number of one of his colleagues. She specializes in teenagers. When do you want to go?"

"I'll tell you in some time. Maybe some time next week."

"Fine. But give me some heads up. She's supposed to be rather in demand."

"Will do." Rachel made a move to get up when Shelby stopped her.

"Just one more thing; Quinn's been discharged from the hospital."

"So you need to go and get her?"

"Um... No. She can come herself. I just wanted to tell you before she got here."

"Mom! I do not understand how you can be so _clueless_. She's just delivered a_ baby_. _Your_ baby, may I add... Well, not _your _baby per se, but you understand what I'm saying. It is absolutely unacceptable to allow her to actually drive to your house alone with Beth. I demand that you call her this instant and ask her to pull over. We can go and pick her up from wherever she may have landed herself. Quinn Fabray is wonderful at balancing, but that girl has no sense of direction. In primary school she would manage to lose her way to her desk inside the classroom. She couldn't locate one desk inside the same classroom for a whole year, and you expect her to ever reach here. Why are you laughing at me?"

"I'm sorry, sweetie. Sorry. I just couldn't help it. You looked so... righteous. Don't worry, Quinn's mom is coming with her."

"Oh. Why didn't you inform me earlier? I would have been saved the trouble of berating you."

"Where's the fun in that?"

* * *

Quinn had, surprisingly enough, settled in rather well in Shelby's house. She was rather quite most of the time, and managed not to bump into Rachel aside from the occasional passing in the hallways. It was at those times that both girls took note of each other's tired appearances. Rachel had been sleeping fitfully at best, not being able to shut down her mind, and Quinn was waking up every two hours or so for Beth. Shelby had tried to help a lot, but Quinn insisted that Beth be kept away from a bottle for at least a month. So it was a lot of late night, early morning feeds.

They eased into a comfortable routine. Since Quinn was inevitably up the earliest, she'd finish off with her bath and get the coffee going by the time Rachel finished exercising. Then she'd be in Beth's room for some time, helping Shelby change diapers and give the baby her first, rather messy, bath. Rachel got that time to shower and get some toast by then, and then she'd be out of the house to visit Archer. She'd stay there till Kurt, Tina or Finn, who had finally approached her after Kurt's consented, dragged her off for the evening. They spent time at each other's houses, trying to enjoy the summer holidays.

At night, dinner wasn't what one would call a family affair. Shelby made an effort to eat with Rachel, making conversation and rediscovering her oldest daughter. They really did have a lot in common, and both would often be surprised at how similar their daily habits were. Being anal about food touching, talking to no one in particular, and obviously the metaphors, which were very, very important. And a few members of Glee Club would possibly be upstairs at this time, gushing and cooing over a sleeping Beth. She slept a lot, except when she was hungry or needed a change. Brittany thought it was a bit odd, but no one else seemed to mind so much.

And so life continued for a few days. James' funeral service was held on a quiet afternoon. He had always been a slight, diminutive man, and Rachel hadn't expected the hordes of people who came to attend the funeral service. They hadn't been able to follow many of the more traditional Jewish practices when it came to the funeral itself, but her Rabbi had made sure that her father's body was prepared in the way he would have wanted. He conducted the service, which Rachel had specifically requested be short, and many people came up to her, expressing their grief and offering condolences. She stood through all of that, but found it impossible to say a single word. There were a few people who did have eulogies prepared, and Rachel sat and listened to all of them, but she knew that she didn't have the strength to say anything. On getting home, she went and collapsed on her bed, and neither Shelby nor Quinn disturbed her for the remainder of the day.

Rachel lay on her bed for a few hours, fingering the rip on the right side of her jacket. It was one of the few mourning rituals she had followed. James had expressly stated in his will that there were very few rituals that he wanted Rachel and Archer to concern themselves with, and that he didn't want them to do things he had never understood the point of himself. And so she had respected her father's wishes, even though her Rabbi had been slightly uncomfortable with it.

She kept thinking about all the things that had been said about her Dad, and it made her realize that there had been such a large part of his life that she knew nothing about. They were her goofy parents at home, but she had never known what they were beyond that, and the regret made it's way into her head. All the people who had come to pay their respects today knew James because he had helped them in some way or the other in making their lives better. There may have been others like them too, but some had remembered the favors while others had forgotten. But she'd never even known.

Unchecked tears made their way down her face as she though about how there wouldn't be any time now; no time to get to know her Dad as James, none to ask him about his life and friends and family. All there was left to do now was to hold on to the little hope that her other dad was still alive.

* * *

"Ms. Corcoran, I'm calling from Lima Memorial Hospital. I was told to contact you regarding a Mr. Archer Berry." Shelby abruptly put down the eggs she'd taken out and braced herself on the counter. She took a deep breathe before replying.

"Yes. Is there any problem?"

"Dr. Coleman would like for you to come over to the hospital. He's asked for you to bring Mr. Berry's daughter and parents as well. He'd like to discuss some case details with you."

"Is Archer okay?" God, please let him be okay. Please.

"I'm afraid I don't know. In how long can you be here?"

"We'll be there in forty minutes." She cut the call, her hand trembling. That woman had just scared the hell out of her.

"Are you okay?" Quinn was at the table with Beth, and she'd seen Shelby pale as she spoke to whoever it was on the other line. It had become obvious what the reason was when she heard Archer's name, and a tendril of dread crept into Quinn. She hoped that nothing had happened to him, that it was just some stupid conformation call or something. But when Shelby shook her head negatively, she knew that wasn't the case.

"Should I call Rachel?" Shelby tried to speak, but her mouth had gone dry. She nodded and then took a sip of water, composing herself while Quinn went and found Rachel.

"Honey, we need to go see your Dad. Come on."

"Why? What's wrong?" Rachel had the same instinctive feeling that she'd felt when Will had first told her about the accident; the feeling that something had gone wrong.

"Nothing' wrong, the doctor just wants to talk to us. I messaged Janice. They'll be there as well. Now let's go. Quinn, you'll stay here?"

"Yeah. I'll be here." She gave Rachel what she hoped was a reassuring smile, and gave her hand a quick squeeze. Rachel had taken a hold of her unconsciously when Shelby had mentioned Archer, and now her hand was loosely held in Quinn's. She disengaged herself and followed Shelby, who had started to put her shoes on.

They reached the hospital a little late because of the traffic rush, and as a result Janice was waiting for them at the entrance, tapping her foot impatiently. If Shelby hadn't been so preoccupied, she would have expressed her shock at how Janice actually managed to wait for them. They went up to Dr. Coleman's office, and he ushered them in, asking them to take a seat. He looked at Rachel for a second before gazing at all of them.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news." Shelby felt Rachel tense beside her and slipped an arm around the girl's waist, hoping that the touch would offer at least some semblance of comfort.

"Archer's condition isn't improving, and today we found some rather dangerous clots in his brain. They weren't detectable earlier due to the nature of the injuries and his coma, but now they've grown larger and are pushing down on him. Very soon, it'll become difficult for his body to function at all."

"Get to the damn point. What are you trying to tell us?" Janice said, trying her best to sound confident and brash. But even Rachel could detect the undercurrent of fear in her voice.

"What I'm saying, Mrs. Berry, is that Archer is dying. Sooner or later, those clots will kill him, and any surgery my entire team can think of is ineffective. So I called you here to discuss the one option I think will be best considering the circumstances."

"Which is?"

"After reviewing every aspect of his case, I believe that the best thing to do would be to... I think you should take him off life support. Archer won't be waking up, and he has signed a DNR, so we won't be able to put him on more advanced cardiac facilities."

"I will sue you. I'll sue all of you. I'm going to call -" But the rest of the conversation, her grandfather's outraged shouts and Shelby's attempts to moderate the tone of the discussion all faded out in Rachel's mind. She couldn't distinguish the words or the voices or the faces. It was all too close and overbearing, and all she knew was that she needed to get away from it. And that's why Rachel got up, not paying attention to Shelby's hand on hers, or Dr. Coleman's voice calling her back. She simply got out of the room, walking away from them, not very sure where she was going.

Her feet led her to the hospital roof, which she'd seen once when she had stayed with Archer. She went and stood at the edge, leaning on the parapet. The wind brushing over her face and making her skin prickle with cold was the only thing she concentrated on, blocking out every other thought that came into her head. She had been standing there for a few minutes when she felt droplets of water hitting her face. It started softly at first, the rain. And then it got faster and faster, till the water soaked through her clothes and on to her skin, making her hair stick to her face. It was then that the first tear made it's way down Rachel's face, and then the next.

The tears came hard and fast, hidden and mixed with the raindrops streaking down her face. Rachel told herself that she didn't deserve to cry, that she had no right to cry when she couldn't do anything else, but she couldn't stop either. And so she let go and stopped trying to keep them in check. She wept for everything that had happened, for the people that wouldn't ever wipe away her tears again. Because nobody would realize that those were tears and not water, and because she could almost pretend that it was her Dad running his fingers over her face. So she kept sobbing and prayed to God to not stop the rain.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Thank you all so so so much for all the reviews/story alerts. Point out typo's.  
The fic is currently focusing on Rachel and Shelby getting over the mounds of crap heaped on them by certain people(read Ryan Murphy) . Will definitely be FaBerry later. Soon later, though.  
This has got to be the longest chapter I've ever written, and I hope it can keep you going for a few days.  
Now, for the funeral rituals and things, I did Google them, but if I got anything wrong, I'm really sorry. Same goes for medical details. I made those up, so if you do think that it's all impossible, please just use your imagination for a little while, and it'll get you through.

**Stranger**: Hi. Firstly, I have no idea if you're still reading this, but if you are, I'd love tips on how to improve the 'forced' thing that you're feeling. I've always thought that it can be a problem, so input is welcome. Secondly, I'd already stated that Rachel and Shelby would be acting very differently in this fic. Think about it; you're 16/17 and both your parents die. You wouldn't be expected to act normal and sugary, right? Hence the bitchiness and lashing out. And I didn't think Shelby was actually being a bitch. Maybe forceful, but it was required. Thirdly, what Quinn bashing? I love, love, love her and the Divine Agron. No Quinn bashing allowed. It was probably Rachel being mean rather that Quinn being bashed.

**Wickedtierra**: The Berry has grown a backbone:) Here's the update.

**Ailed**: You were right; the dad situation is bad. Eek.

**Kristen**: I'm really sorry about the delay. Hope the content makes up for it:)

Just a few things I'd like to clarify, since I got a few comments and PM's about it;

A - Rachel will be un-Rachel-like sometimes. I can't make her totally chirpy and positive right now, because this is a crazy tough time for her. But she will not become a raving lunatic or a bitch.

B - For me, the Shelby on the show is terribly childish at times, but I just don't see her character that way. So I'll keep her uncertainty and insecurity, but try to explain them and strengthen her relationship with both Rachel and Beth despite her doubts.

C - I don't like the names that Ryan has given Rachel's dads + They haven't been given any importance on the show. Which is weird, but basically I'm making my own names. James is the bespectacled, slightly wiry guy and Archer is the big, strong African-American Dad.

D - I don't think that any single character, or any single person for that matter, is perfect. So everyone's flaws ( and good points) will be mentioned. It's not bashing.

And excuse me for any fashion related goof-ups. I'm a dork that way.

R&R.


	5. Chapter 5 Bound By Love

**Title:** Anthem Of The Angels

**Chapter: **Bound By Love

**Pairing: **Quinn/Rachel

**Rating: **M, for non-consensual sex. Has a death theme, but no character death. Also, femslash.

**Spoilers: **Takes place after EP22 'Journey'. May contain spoilers.

**Timeline:** About four- five days later.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee, the songs, or even the characters.

**Author's Note:**Un-beta-ed so feel free to point out errors. Happy Reading and please R&R. Reviews are my lifeline. Please read A/N at end. Story Title is the name of a song by Breaking Benjamin. Chapter title is from Gran Bel Fisher.

* * *

_I'm bound by love _  
_And I'm thinking of what could be _  
_Where there's a will, there's a way _  
_So won't you you come out and play _  
_With me,with me? _

* * *

_The tears came hard and fast, hidden and mixed with the raindrops streaking down her face. Rachel told herself that she didn't deserve to cry, that she had no right to cry when she couldn't do anything else, but she couldn't stop either. And so she let go and stopped trying to keep them in check. She wept for everything that had happened, for the people that wouldn't ever wipe away her tears again. Because nobody would realize that those were tears and not water, and because she could almost pretend that it was her Dad running his fingers over her face. So she kept sobbing and prayed to God to not stop the rain._

* * *

Quinn was in Beth's room, folding up little baby blankets, when she heard sharp footsteps on the stairs. Thinking that Shelby and Rachel had come back home, she rushed out, only to come face to face with Finn, who stopped just short of slamming in to her.

"Finn, what're you doing here?"

"Um... I came to see if Rachel wanted to go for breakfast with us. It's been a few days since she's come, and I was just wondering..."

"Uh huh. The thing is, Rachel's not at home. She's gone down to the hospital."

"But Kurt said that she'd be at home. Aren't her visiting hours a little later?"

"Much later. But something came up, so she had to go and see the doctor."

"Oh... Her dad isn't doing really good, is he?"

"No, I don't think he is... But I've heard about people who wake up from worse stuff than this. So you never know."

"I hope he does. Rachel shouldn't have to go through all this." He looked almost accusingly at Quinn, as if she had suggested otherwise.

"No. She really shouldn't." Quinn thought about all the times she'd looked at Rachel in the past few days and seen the hollow look in the girl's eyes, and she wished that she could do something to help.

They stood in silence for some time, with Finn shuffling his hands around in his pocket before something occurred to him.

"Are you and Rachel friends now?"

"I... I wouldn't call us friends, exactly."

"Then how're you living with her and stuff. I mean, don't you hate her?" Finn scratched his head, looking down at her enquiringly.

"I don't hate her, Finn. I never did, really... And anyways, even if I had, what happened to Rachel was... horrible. I'm not going to go on some personal rampage after all this."

"Is 'rampage' a bad thing?... But forget that, I just don't want you to hurt Rachel."

"Why on earth would I hurt Rachel?" But even as she said that, Quinn thought back to all the times she'd tortured the girl without any provocation, without even being related to Rachel's life in any way.

"I don't know... just don't, okay? She been so out of it these days, that I'm starting to get scared. Even Santana isn't saying anything to her. So just don't."

"Okay. relax, I won't. But Finn, don't get too worried. If there's one thing I know about Rachel, it's that she's resilient as hell. We... No, I used to make her life hell and she still stuck through."

"But this isn't the same."

"Not the same situation, but it is the same Rachel. We just need to make her realize that. She will get through this, Finn, if all of us are there for her."

"Even you?"

"Definitely me."

"I don't get you, Quinn. You're so.. confusing." She laughed a little at that, thinking about how Finn was echoing her own thoughts. She'd never really understood herself, either.

"Don't laugh at me. I asked Puck, and even he said he doesn't get you."

"Oh, so you and Puck are talking again? I mean, other than to trouble Vocal Adrenaline."

"Kinda... We're cool now, cause you know, you're here and Rachel's here, so we didn't want to give everyone a headache every day."

"Wow... That was really..."

"Unexpected? Yeah, I know. But we were gonna get over all the crap eventually... So I guess I'd better get going. Can you ask Rachel to give me call when she's free?"

"Sure." She stood in the hallway watching Finn walk away when he stopped for a moment and turned around.

"Hey Quinn, you want to come with us sometime? Like, when Shelby is at home."

"I'd love to... But would everyone else be okay with it?"

"Course they would. See you later."

"Bye Finn." And Quinn couldn't quite explain why she felt so happy watching him give her a goofy smile and walk out. Although she tried not to admit it, being ignored by over half the Glee Club hadn't been the most fun thing on earth, and she'd almost began to miss the times when she could easily join in their conversations, and when they wouldn't give her polite, monosyllabic replies. Finn inviting her to hang out with them of his own free will made her feel that the knot in her chest was easing out.

* * *

"Puck, would you quit it with the tubber-talk, already? We get that your brain is filled with sappy goo, but you don't get shove it on me."

"S, be nice! It's cute." Brittany liked kids almost as much as she liked birds. The only reason she preferred birds was that she wasn't too afraid of dropping them on their heads. And even if she did, it wouldn't make much of a difference. All they did was clack about. How much brains did that require?

"B, I'm not interested in hearing about how Beth ruined another shirt of his. I'm gonna be the one puking if he goes on." Finn chose this moment to enter, just in time to see Puck sending death glares in Santana's direction. Kurt looked up from his cellphone and sent a little smile his way, glad that at least someone would be around to talk to for now. Mercedes hadn't been able to come today, and Tina and Artie were lost in their own little world. But his smile faded as he saw Finn slouch and noticed that Rachel wasn't trailing behind him.

"Where's Rachel?"

"She had to go to the hospital. Something about her dad. Quinn said she'd give her the message."

"And you were dumb enough to believe that? God, Finnocence. Virgin Mary will probably make jam out of Berry. You think she'd actually tell her anything useful?"

"Stop attacking her, Santana. I don't even know what she did to you. Quinn's not that bad."

"Yeah, back off." Now, if anyone other than Puck had told Santana to back off, she'd probably have him in the ICU by now, but seeing as it was Puck, she just glared at him and shuffled a little closer to Brittany. She didn't even know where all this hatred for Quinn was coming from. They had always had their differences, but Quinn had stuck up for her plenty of times, and even on knowing the nature of Santana and Britt's... relationship, she hadn't so much as blinked. Coming from the uber-conservative family that she did, it was a pretty big thing for her, and Santana was very grateful for the fact that she never ratted them out to Sylvester.

But even then, she couldn't dismiss the way that Quinn had played with Puck, who was her... Well, he was something, that was for sure, and she didn't like the way Quinn had tossed him around till she had Finn. Although Santana knew, deep down, that she wouldn't have had even a fraction of the sheer courage Quinn had displayed had she been put in that situation, it wasn't something that she would admit. As far as she was concerned, the smart thing would have been to just get a damn abortion. No one would know any better, and although Quinn would still be in charge, it was better than the crap that had been going on the last few months. Again, something she wouldn't say out loud.

"And anyways, if you have any problem with her, get over it 'cause I told her she could come with us sometime when she was free."

"That was a very mature thing to do, Finn. I was thinking of asking her myself, but I wasn't too sure of how everyone would react. And plus, Quinn and I haven't ever been the best of friends. But I'm glad that she'll have some companionship." And it was true. Kurt had wanted to ask Quinn to join them when he'd see her wandering around the house as he dragged Rachel off. Although she got plenty of visitors, they were mostly there to gush over Beth, and Quinn herself didn't get to interact much. He could see that she looked lonely, but didn't know how to approach her. Personally, Kurt was glad that Finn had taken the initiative, since he thought that this shunning thing had become a little too long drawn and ridiculous. After all, she was the one who's life had effectively been ruined.

He was the one who remembered that Rachel had assured Quinn that the Glee Club wouldn't judge her, but they did for lying to them, if not for being pregnant. Granted, she hadn't done the most correct and appropriate thing, but then couldn't the same be said for each of them at some time or the other? All of them had forgotten the fact that they weren't exactly saints themselves along with the fact that Quinn had to face a lot more than they did. He'd been shivering in his stilletoes when he'd told Burt that he was gay, and that was when he knew that his Dad was a rather laid back sort of person. He couldn't even fathom the amount of fear she would have felt about her parents finding out that their chaste, perfect showcase daughter was knocked up.

"They'll all behave, right guys?" All of them nodded their assent, making Puck a rather relieved dude. True, they would keep their traps shut for fear of him shutting it for them, but he felt a bit better knowing that his baby mama had a little bit of genuine support. She'd helped them get the yearbook and stopped Sue from disbanding the club, and she hadn't even done it to gain favors. Not to mention the whole pushing the baby out while shouting herself hoarse. Girl deserved a break.

* * *

Quinn was just putting Beth back in her crib after yet another feed, when she heard the door being shut softly. She went and looked down from the landing, seeing Shelby escorting Rachel into the house. She was just about to call out to them when Shelby caught her eye and shook her head slightly.

So she waited there for about ten minutes, till Rachel passed her and went into the bathroom and Shelby came up moments later,a tired, haggard look on her face. Shelby stood and looked at Rachel's retreating back, an almost defeated expression crossing her face as she pursed her lips, deflecting her gaze to Quinn.

"How's Beth?"

"Fine. I just put her down, so I guess she should be asleep for an hour or two."

"Good, good. I'm gonna go and see her, okay? And you should probably try to get some sleep yourself. You've been up for ages."

"Shelby, are you alright?"

"Yeah, just a little tired."

"And Rachel?"

"I don't know. Are you even supposed to be alright after... I just don't know."

"I... Is there anything I can do? I mean, if she needs anything I could..."

"You're already doing plenty with Beth so don't tax yourself too much Quinn. You still need to give your body enough rest. Go to bed. Lie down for a while even if you don't sleep." Shelby's tone was too downtrodden for Quinn to have the heart to disagree with her. She desperately wanted to know what had happened at the hospital, but didn't feel that either of the two would be in a condition to tell her anything.

Instead of pestering anyone, she went down to the kitchen to try to make something for Rachel to eat. Contrary to popular belief, Quinn wasn't actually that great a cook. Her dad had been so concerned with her grades that he kept her away from housework to a rather large extent. But even then, she had learnt to make a pretty good breakfast, since her mom rarely got up by the time she had to go to school. So she went for something that she knew would be decent enough for Rachel to eat; toast with no butter, juice, and some cornmeal flapjacks. All vegan. Duh.

Delicately balancing the plate in one hand, she stood outside Rachel's door, gathering the courage to knock. After the umpteenth pep talk, she finally managed to rap her knuckles sharply on the door.

"Come in."

She swung open the door to see Rachel sitting on her bed, her legs crossed in front of her, staring blankly ahead. She looked up when the door opened, and as they looked at each other, Quinn was shocked at the utter blankness in the brunette's eyes. She had looked into those eyes every day for years as she had tried to draw tears from them, but even then, there was an energy, a vibrancy, a defiance that Rachel possessed. The spark that she'd wanted to snuff out wasn't there anymore, and it scared the hell out of her.

When Rachel continued to look at her questioningly, Quinn held up the tray in her hand by way of explanation and walked in, setting it down besides Rachel. She sat as well, seeing that the other girl wasn't in a state to manage herself alone. Looking over at Rachel, it became clear that the brunette wouldn't move towards the food until prodded, and Quinn knew she hadn't eaten all morning.

"Rachel?... Hey, listen. I got some food for you... Rachel, please." She kept speaking softly till Rachel finally acknowledged her words.

"Daddy used to hate vegan food, you know? He used to laugh his head off when Dad and I lectured him about it. Found it funny." Rachel smiled bitterly, her eyes hardening as a film of tears lined them. Quinn said nothing, but extended a hand towards Rachel, capturing the girls delicate hands in her own pale ones. She couldn't express to Rachel how much she really did feel for her, so chose to remain quiet, letting the brunette get her baggage out.

"I don't know what to _do_, Quinn. I- I just-" Rachel stopped speaking, biting her trembling lower lip and trying not to break down. She had, for the longest time, trained herself to successfully shut down all her negative emotions in front of others. Even with Finn, she'd known how much she was showing him, the tears and the frustration. She'd always pushed enough to make him realize he was hurting her, but never beyond the limit she knew he couldn't handle. Instead, she would reserve all that frustration till she got home, and her dads would patiently sit and listen to her rants.

And now... She hadn't exactly made many friends, and Finn, sweet guy that he was, had no idea how to deal with her. She had been getting fed up of his awkward attitude around her, which only made her feel more conscious. Even Noah was better, when he was around. And Shelby just came with a whole lot of backlog. Comforting each other was easy, but actually talking to her was something Rachel was finding a little difficult.

"It's okay. You don't need to do anything. We're all here, Rachel." She pulled the brunette closer to her despite feeling Rachel stiffen, and wrapped her arms around Rachel, willing herself not to pull back when the brunette continued to remain tense. It paid off, eventually, as Rachel forced herself to relax. She let Quinn stroke her hair, willing herself to focus on the rhythmic motions of the other girl's hand on her back, and didn't stop herself from blurting out the first thing that came into her head.

"I'm scared."

"I know, Rachel. I know." Quinn wanted to say something more... appropriate, but she knew that all she'd come up with was some ridiculous, unsuitable dialogue. There wasn't anything she could possibly say to change the truth, so she tried instead to make it a little easier for Rachel to cope with.

"I- I've never even stayed away from them... This- I can't live like this."

"It'll get easier, eventually."

"You don't know that."

"I don't exist anymore according to my dad. It doesn't hurt as much as it used to yesterday." Quinn knew that it was wrong to lie, but she'd done it for much worse reasons before. In actual fact, the knowledge that Russell wanted nothing to do with her pricked her in exactly the same way every day. It still hurt when she got up in strange bedrooms and felt that difference in her body, a constant reminder of the fact that she wasn't anything to anybody. But it never hurt to give someone a little hope, right?

"Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise." Quinn held Rachel like that, drawing circles on her back and running her hands through Rachel's silky locks, till the brunette finally stopped swallowing back the knot in her throat and let herself cry into Quinn's shoulder. By the time she was through, Quinn's shirt was soaked through, Rachel felt a lot lighter, and they'd reached a new level of understanding.

* * *

Quinn lay in her own bed, having just woken up. It was a little darker outside now, just approaching twilight. She winced as she got up, the sharp pain in her stomach reminding her that she wasn't quite as flexible as before. Even though she had been absolutely, unbelievably fit before, thanks to Coach Sylvester, delivering a baby did kinda tend to put a damper on things. Quinn was literally itching to get herself back into shape, but she'd been expressly forbidden from even the lightest exercise till her last check-up, and she wasn't stupid enough to go against that. Not that Shelby would let her anyways.

She looked around, seeing the sky through her window as the sun just disappeared below the horizon. Quinn sat on the edge of her bed for the next few minutes, soaking in the last few minutes of the sunset, which in her opinion were the most beautiful. The way the colors changed so rapidly, merging and separating into vibrant, rich hues of gold and purple was something that had fascinated her since she was a child. Even now, concentrating on noticing the changing patterns helped her get into focus. She sighed, and after lingering for one last moment, got up and trudged towards Beth's room.

She stooped over her baby's crib, watching the peaceful expression on her tiny face as she slept on, unaware of any of the chaos of the world around her. Quinn smiled at the little tuft of hair sticking up on her forehead; Puck had gotten his mohawk wish after all. She touched it, mindful not to press too hard, and tried to smooth it down, but it stuck up again defiantly. Quinn shook her head, deciding that her daughter was getting started a little early on the whole rebellion phase. Just like her mom. Or her biological mom, anyways.

Beth shuffled just a little, crinkling her tiny little nose and then going back to sleeping peacefully. Quinn marveled at the delicate features Beth possessed, and she almost couldn't believe that she'd made those little hands, or the barely visible nails. Or even the wrinkled, soft baby skin.

The first time she'd seen Beth, after the excitement wore off, she got nervous as hell. For her, the youngest 'infant' she could think of was her cousin, who she'd seen when he was a few months old. Seeing a newborn for the first time, and her own newborn, mind you, was the most frightening experience ever. She didn't know what to do with that tiny mass of limbs and flesh. Beth was so soft and... and just so babyish that she was afraid the little bundle would slip out of her fingers. It really was better that Shelby was keeping her.

* * *

"And then they managed, by luck or accident, I'll never know, to throw him into the pool." Shelby, Quinn and Rachel were at the breakfast table, and Shelby was telling the two girls about the one and only time anyone had played a prank on Jesse St. James. Quinn was laughing so hard that she almost choked on her food, and Rachel offered up a small smile, which didn't really reach her eyes. Shelby noticed that, and sighed slightly, but put on a brave front and continued eating.

It had been two days since Archer's funeral, which was arranged under his mother's watchful eye, and everyone had noticed the change in Rachel. She wasn't lashing out, nor was she unnecessarily quiet, but she wasn't herself either. Not that anyone expected her to be happy, but there was just something unexplainable missing from her personality. Whether happy or heartbroken, Rachel Berry possessed a fire, a presence, that could be felt by everyone, and that presence had vanished.

She still smiled, but it wasn't the type that could light up the room. She still spoke, but it wasn't the avalanche of words that left everyone in the general vicinity with a blank expression on their faces. She still scrutinized, but it wasn't the accurate, piercing scrutiny that left you staring at you shoes, red faced.

All the Glee Clubbers were trying to help her in their own way, but none seemed to be succeeding. Neither Santana and Puck's innuendo's, nor Brittany's peacock feather's had much effect on her. Quinn was trying especially hard, and getting especially worried. She knew Rachel, even though no one would ever believe her. Quinn had spent enough times seeking out the brunette to torture her; she understood Rachel's behavior. The Rachel she was seeing now seemed to have lost any will to get up and fight her damn life.

Shelby looked over at Quinn, and as their eyes met, they knew that they were thinking the same thing. She looked away and continued talking as Quinn inserted comments and Rachel nodded once or twice. This wasn't good, and Shelby wasn't stupid enough to ignore that, but she did feel that the only thing she could do right now was to just be with Rachel. The appointment with Dr. Walsh was next week, and she really wanted the clock to go a little faster.

She chucked her plate in the dishwasher after attempting to eat at least half of it, and went to her room, locking the door behind her. Resting her back on the headboard, Shelby closed her eyes and tried to gather her thoughts.

She knew the look in Rachel's eyes. How couldn't she, when it was the very same one she'd seen every time she looked into a mirror for years on end? The recruiters had told her she couldn't be on stage because her eyes didn't speak; they had no expression. Little did they know that she'd been alive once, that she had been able to bare her heart and soul with one look. But then someone had taken a hold of her and snuffed out that life, leaving her to merely live.

Shelby pinched the bridge of her nose, willing herself not to think of that. But she wasn't strong enough to stop her mind from wandering down those paths. Recollecting memories that were always just on the fringes of her consciousness, old enough to have faded away, but shattering enough to remain embedded in her memory. No matter how she suppressed them, they always came- No, _he_ always came back to haunt her.

* * *

_The thing about turning points in life is that they are very often not in our control. There are always those certain moments in your life after which you know you'll never be the same, and those moments are generally brought about by other's actions. _

_For Shelby, one such moment came a little after her seventeenth birthday. Denny, her eldest brother, had gone with their Dad to help around the workshop, and Sophie was out with some random bunch of losers. Her mom was nowhere to be found, but then that was pretty normal. She'd come sauntering in at night with some cash in her hand, and they wouldn't bother her after that._

_It was early in the evening, and Shelby was sitting in her room with the sewing machine, making a dress for the annual school function. She started and managed to prick herself when she heard the front door shut with a loud bang. On peeking out, she saw Adam, her other brother, enter the house with two men trailing behind him. Sucking her bleeding thumb, she silently cursed at the idiot. He'd been hanging out with some guys from the street lately, and Dad would thrash him within an inch of his life if he found out these guys had come home._

_"Shelby? Come out here for a minute." Damn moron. Did he think she was his servant or something?_

_"Shelby? I know you're home."_

_"Don't look like the girl is coming. You gimme a raw deal, kid, and I'll mess up that pretty little face of yours."_

_"Course she's coming. She's just a little shy. Come on, Shel. Get the hell out here, or I'll come in."_

_"What?" She opened the door to their bedroom and stormed outside, trying not to acknowledge the stench one of the guys was giving of._

_"What took you so long? This is Ricky, and that's Tim... Don't just stand there. Say something."_

_"Um... Hi?" Shelby couldn't ignore the stares those men were giving her, and she couldn't believe her brother had actually gotten such scumbags to their house._

_"Hey, sugar. Whatcha doing all the way over there? Come sit down." He patted the space next to him, giving her what he thought was a charming grin._

_"No, I'm fine thanks. I'm actually gonna go in. Work and stuff." _

_But before she could get away, Tim went forward and gripped her arm. _

_"What's the hurry? He told you to sit with him, didn't he? Just go and sit already." He started to push her towards the sofa, and despite planting her feet firmly on the ground, she still couldn't help but be dragged along by the much stronger man._

_"What the hell are you doing? Get off me. Adam!" She looked over her shoulder towards her brother, who was staring at the ground and refusing to meet her eyes. _

_"I'm going inside. You have about two or three hours, 'kay?"_

_"Plenty of time, bro. And here's your packet. You'll get the rest when we're done." Ricky tossed something to Adam from his pocket, along with his walkman._

_"Plug it in and listen to some music, kid. Won't take long with a feisty lil' thing like her." Adam nodded and walked into the bedroom and shut the door behind him, ignoring the repeated calls of his name. Shelby was naive, but she wasn't stupid. As she realized what her brother was doing, a cold fear crept over her, and she did anything she could to get out of the house. But one teenager wasn't any match for two burly men, and they soon had a hand over her mouth and feet. _

_She kept struggling, trying to bite the hand on her mouth, or even to somehow land a decent kick. But that only seemed to spur them on. Tim grinned down at her, nodding to Ricky, who held down her arms and covered her mouth with a makeshift gag as Tim settled himself over her, pinning down her lower body to the floor. _

_Shelby kept hoping to hear the door open, to see someone, anyone, come home a little earlier than usual. But when she heard the metallic sound of a zipper being pulled down, she scrunched her eyes shut, determined not to look at them. The tears threatened to fall, pricking at the corners of her eyes as the reality of the situation paralyzed her, making her hands turn cold. _

_She could feel everything. The way his breathe threatened to suffocate her, and both of their hands all over her, touching and probing. Their fingers burnt trails down her body, making her squirm with the nausea that overcame her. She kept hoping, even as he pushed her skirt up and pulled her panties aside. She could hear them talking over her head in excited murmurs, the sounds resonating in her head. _

_The first few thrusts didn't hurt; they felt like someone was branding her with hot iron, searing into her skin. But she couldn't feel anything distinctly after that. There were blurred recollections of touches and sickening, wet feelings all over her legs. As she stood up on shaky legs over three hours later, semen running down the inside of her thigh, the first thing she did was rush to the bathroom and vomit till there was nothing left in her stomach. Then came the dry heaves, which Adam heard, not having the walkman with him any more to block out the noise._

_He hadn't wanted to. He really hadn't wanted to do that. But then he shouldn't have accepted the little taste they gave him that got him hooked. And now he needed the damn stuff more than he needed to breathe. But he didn't have any money, and the fuckers wouldn't sell it without money. It felt so good, burning down his throat and making him feel like he could fly. How could he not have that? So he did what he did, his mind too focused on the singular task of getting a drug high. She would understand, right? But even if she didn't, he was too far gone to care. A man who could hear his sister getting raped in the other room could probably do it to her himself if that's what would get him his little white packets._

_And no one ever knew. The ones that did, forgot about it. She told her Mom, even though it felt like they were all over her when she said it. But she was smart; she knew that if she just told her mom, that Adam would get what he deserved, and they'd never come after her again. Because that's what parents do when they find out something bad had happened to their kid, right? They protect them. _

_Her Mom did protect, but she protected the wrong child. After hearing everything, she understood what would happen if Shelby got pregnant, or if her husband found out. He'd kill Adam. Just like that, with his bare hands. Because Luke worshiped his little girl, and he was a good guy who would do the right thing. So she warned Shelby, warned her as you would warn someone who had committed murder, to never breathe a word of it to anyone. Jenny got pills for her daughter, got all the tests done, but she warned her._

_So no one knew. Not until Shelby grew up, with those empty eyes, and fled as far away as she possibly could from the god forsaken hell hole that was her 'home'. Not until her demons became too strong to fight alone and she got some professional help. It was only after years of therapy that she understood the fact that she wasn't in the wrong. What had happened to her was in no way her fault, and that being told to keep it a secret was something her mother should never have told her to do. There was nothing to be ashamed of in herself, body or mind. She was a wonderful, complete woman, who went through something terrible. The scars that had been carved into her very soul healed over time, but you could still see the marks._

_

* * *

_

"Why don't you come over tomorrow? Yeah, I think she'll be awake. But just be a bit careful with Rachel, okay? I don't want to disturb her... Okay, see you then. Bye. Love you too, Mom." Quinn put the phone back down and went outside, stopping at Rachel's room. She contemplated going in, but thought that might seem a little too smothering. She had, after all, hung out with Rachel nearly the entire day, and Kurt and Tina had just left after spending some time with the brunette. She probably needed a little bit of time to herself.

Beth was fast asleep, with her thumb planted firmly in her mouth, and there wasn't anything to do over here. Quinn grabbed her jacket and left a little note saying that she'd be back in half an hour, and went out for a walk. Shelby's neighborhood was amazing; about ten times cleaner than most places, and the park was practically outside her door. Since she couldn't get back to her normal routine, Quinn had called up her doctor and asked her what she could do without the danger of ending up in the ER. Walking wasn't brilliant for losing all that baby fat, but it was still something. At least she didn't have a c-section. Thank God for small mercies.

While she was out, she managed to spot Santana and Brittany huddled together on one of the park benches. She could only imagine what they were up to, and didn't disturb them. Now that she wasn't pregnant, Santana would not hesitate to maul her. They'd probably come all the way up here because Santana's parents were back in town.

She shook her head and went ahead, wondering when those two were going to untangle their... relationship, whatever it was. Although Quinn tried her best not to judge them, she couldn't help but be perplexed by the way they behaved around each other. She knew that Santana cared about Brittany just as much as the clueless blonde cared about her. Which is why it was hard to understand why they didn't just commit to each other. But then, each to his- Sorry, her own, right?

Quinn got back to Shelby's house about half an hour later and went upstairs, more than ready for a shower. But she was brought to a rather abrupt halt at the nursery, where she saw Rachel sitting on the rocking chair, Beth in one hand and her cellphone in one hand. Beth was covered in her blanket, and Rachel was rocking her softly while humming to her under her breath. She was glancing at her phone every few moments, and then resuming her lullaby.

Quinn couldn't figure out whether to just stand and watch or to go in. Rachel looked so at ease with Beth that she didn't really want to interrupt, but she wasn't given a choice when Rachel's eyes fell upon her. The expression in the brunette's eyes changed faster than you would think possible, and she looked at Quinn as if the blonde had personally murdered murdered Barbra Streisand.

She set Beth down in her crib, and after waiting a moment to see if she was still asleep, went out of the room, dragging Quinn with her and shutting the door behind her.

"Quinn Fabray, of all the irresponsible, harebrained, moronic people I have ever met, you top the list. And let us not forget that I am well acquainted with the entire football squad. And the Cheerios."

"Um... Sorry?"

"You should be. How could you leave an infant, just leave her like that, and go flying away? Without even informing anyone. Imbecile. Did it not occur to you that Beth is a little over half a month old and it may be difficult for her to survive without constant attention? I found her wailing her lungs out when I returned from my evening shower. Impressive lungs, but that's beyond the point. The point, Quinn, is that she is your responsibility. And you are not to run away like that. Am I clear?"

"Yes." Quinn nodded fervently and stepped away from Rachel, since the brunette had taken to poking Quinn to emphasize her point.

"Don't you dare run away like some scared kitten. Seventy eight percent of all convicts are the result of improper care in childhood. And over eighty percent of children who are left in their cribs unattended for extended periods of time develop learning disabilities."

"You made that up." Quinn smiled as Rachel turned a rather uncharacteristic red.

"That is not relevant. Practically every statistic is fabricated anyways. "

"Uh huh. So can I go, or is there still a little punishment left?"

"You think this is funny, don't you?"

"Not at all. I was just asking."

"Very well, then. You may go and make yourself decent."

"Excuse me?"

"You're stinking. It's most unbecoming."

"I-I am not- I do not stink... Do I?... I don't, right? Because no one-"

"It's called a joke, Quinn." It was only then that the blonde caught the twinkling in Rachel's eyes.

"Oh my God," she said, putting her hand on her heart for dramatic effect. " Rachel Berry has a sense of humor. Oh God, catch me. I think I'm going to faint."

"And Quinn Fabray obviously lacks said sense of humor. Now go, before I decide you need further reprimanding."

"I'm running away at light speed. Oh and Rachel? Thank you for um... for looking after Beth. I really didn't think she would wake up again so soon."

"It's alright. She really is rather sweet. And she fell asleep as soon as I started singing. Your daughter has a good ear."

"Or maybe you just have a great voice."

"That definitely contributed to a certain extent."

"Later, Rachel." And Quinn walked out of the room with something that could possibly be described as a spring in her step. She'd finally managed to see some of that old sparkle in Rachel's eyes when the girl had almost trampled her, and it gave her an almost indescribable sense of relief. Quinn had been beginning to think that Rachel had been too affected by whatever had happened, but now she knew that the old Rachel could be brought back. It would probably take a lot of time, but then that was something both of them had plenty of.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Thank you all so so so much for all the reviews/story alerts. Point out typo's, and there will probably be some, since I didn't get time to edit this.

Well, there's another chapter. This would have taken a lot less time except for the Shelby thing, which I re-typed twelve times before it became something remotely workable. It's not fantastic, because I have read rape scenes that brought me very close to tears. And I'm not a teary person. But it doesn't make me cringe, either, so that counts for something.

Next up, we might see Rachel in therapy. Any ideas for that are appreciated. Maybe even Shelby in separate therapy.

**Alex:** Thank you:)

**Ailed:** Thanks:)

**Kristen:** Well, here's some interaction for you. I kinda like most story Shelby's better too:)

Please, please go on to the Anyone But Me official website and donate to bring it back for season 3. It's the most fantastic free web-series on earth, but they have lost their sponsorship for the next season. Watch the first two seasons if you haven't already, and please donate for the next one. Every five dollars count.

In other news, I've gotten hooked onto Rizzoli and Isles courtesy AfterEllen. Com, and who thinks that Maura Isles looks like a cross between Meredith and Arizona from Grey's?


	6. Chapter 6 Come Back To Me

**Title:** Anthem Of The Angels

**Chapter: **Come Back To Me

**Pairing: **Quinn/Rachel

**Rating: **M. Has a death theme, but no character death. Also, femslash.

**Spoilers: **Takes place after EP22 'Journey'. May contain spoilers.

**Timeline: **One week later.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee, the songs, or even the characters.

**Author's Note:**Un-beta-ed so feel free to point out errors. Happy Reading and please R&R. Reviews are my lifeline. **Read A/N at end, it's important**. Story Title is the name of a song by Breaking Benjamin. Chapter title is from David Cook.

* * *

_"I don't exist anymore according to my dad. It doesn't hurt as much as it used to yesterday." Quinn knew that it was wrong to lie, but she'd done it for much worse reasons before. In actual fact, the knowledge that Russell wanted nothing to do with her pricked her in exactly the same way every day. It still hurt when she got up in strange bedrooms and felt that difference in her body, a constant reminder of the fact that she wasn't anything to anybody. But it never hurt to give someone a little hope, right?_

_"Promise?"_

_"Yeah, I promise."_

* * *

_Shelby pinched the bridge of her nose, willing herself not to think of that. But she wasn't strong enough to stop her mind from wandering down those paths. Recollecting memories that were always just on the fringes of her consciousness, old enough to have faded away, but shattering enough to remain embedded in her memory. No matter how she suppressed them, they always came- No, **he** always came back to haunt her._

_

* * *

_

_Quinn had been beginning to think that Rachel had been too affected by whatever had happened, but now she knew that the old Rachel could be brought back. It would probably take a lot of time, but then that was something both of them had plenty of._

* * *

I don't really know what's up with my life these days. Yeah, I know I've said that like, so many times, but this isn't the same thing. This isn't about me. It's about Rachel. You know, my girlfriend?

She's been acting like I'm not even important anymore. Whenever I go to see her, her mom... Is Shelby her mom?Rachel had explained that to me some time. Her sur-sur-something, whatever she is, keeps stopping me from seeing her. But Kurt told me she's free whenever he goes. I don't get how she can have time for him but not me. I'm her boyfriend, and she didn't even like Kurt before.

Before... Before her dads died in a car crash. That's when everything became all messed up and confusing. It's bound to, I guess, 'cause she basically lost the only family she had, and mom told me that stuff like this takes a lot of time to get over. She said that it changes people, and that that's what probably happened to Rachel. Maybe she's right, and I do get that I should give Rachel time and space and stuff. But... How do you give someone space? I don't get it, because I just want to be there for her. She's always been happy to see me, and it's weird now that she want's to avoid me all the time. I get that this isn't about me, but I'm fed up of being affected by things that are happening to other people.

Which brings me to Quinn... Quinn Fabray. She's another thing I'm confused about. I never got how she worked. She was always so... I dunno what to call it. She always lied to people, and most of the time, I couldn't even figure out why she was lying. She says I'm stupid, so maybe that's why I don't get it, but I really though it was a habit or something with her. You know, like people who puke all the time, even when there's nothing left to puke out?

It's stupid stuff she lies about, except for the whole baby thing. Just things like knowing people she doesn't, or maybe going one place and saying she went somewhere else. And if she can lie about crap like that, she could totally lie about not hating Rachel anymore when she really does. It'd be like that show on T. V, you know, the one with the hot girls? They're bitching about their best friends all the time. What if she does that?

Don't get me wrong, 'cause it's not like I don't want to believe that she's not changed. I hope she has. I was the coolest guy in school, and now I'm not cool at all. Even Jacob would be better than me if he wasn't so freaky. But anyways, the thing is that the whole getting kicked out of the popular gang kinda made me better in a way. I can stick up for myself now, and I can stick up for other kids too without having that whole pressure on me. And with the same thing times, like,a zillion happening to Quinn, how the hell could she still be the same?

Can she still be as mean to other people even when she knows how bad it is? She got kicked out of the Cheerios, and her house, and I guess all of us have been really bad to her, even though she did sorta deserve it. I mean, she used me and my mom, and even Puck. And everyone was all sympathetic 'cause they thought that it was tough for her. But it was bad for me too. And it was bad for him later. But even then, after I kinda got over what she did, I thought everyone in Glee was a bit weird about the whole thing. First they were too nice to her, and then they were too mean. It didn't even have anything to do with them. I liked it for some time, everyone being really supportive and stuff. And then I saw how she'd look when all of them ignored her, and it wasn't really that fun anymore. I told you I changed, right?

But then I'm me and she's her. How do I know she's changed? Honestly, for her, it was always being jealous of Rachel more than other stuff. She never said it, but I knew. She used to talk about Rach more than usual, and it was always so... bitter. Sounds strange, I know, but I was her boyfriend for a long time. Trust me on this one.

Quinn looks all cool and confident, but she's not like that when other people aren't around. She was always worried about what everyone was thinking of how she looked and talked and stuff. Always worried that someone else would be better than her at something. Maybe it had something to do with her dad, 'cause he isn't really a nice guy, but I know that she wasn't at all... comfortable, I guess you'd call it. She wasn't ever comfortable with herself.

And you know Rachel, right? She's like, uber comfortable. It's like she always knew that she was going to make it big someday and no matter what Quinn did, she kept knowing that. That always made Quinn really, really mad. And that's what made her go after Rachel even more than anyone else. It's like when I play a game and I can't kill some guy. It get's me so pissed off that I just keep playing that level till I vaporize him. Same thing, I guess. Like Kurt says, the foundation is the same. Only I think that was make-up talk.

And now they're living together. Quinn and Rachel, that is. LIVING together. You don't believe me, right? No one believed me, till Quinn told them. Hello people, didn't I tell you that Quinn's the one who lies? But that's not the point right now. Point is, Rach is different right now. I don't think she can take it if Quinn gives her any bullshit. Quinn's good that way, messing with your head and stuff. Rachel won't be able to block Quinn out, but I think Quinn knows that better than me. She's the smart one, right?

* * *

"Hello, Rachel. Come in," said Dr. Walsh, ushering Rachel and Shelby into her inner office,"Have a seat."

"Um, should I stay or...?"

"No, I think I'll talk to Rachel alone for some time. Make yourself comfortable outside, will you? We'll call if we need you."

Shelby nodded and left the room, leaving Rachel alone with the Doctor. Rachel took a seat on the couch and Dr. Walsh sat down opposite her, peering down at her inquisitively from behind her spectacles.

"So Rachel, what brings you here?"

"I thought Shelby spoke to you about it?"

"Oh she did, but why don't you tell me as well? Just to see what you think."

"Okay. Well, as you know, both my dads passed away in a car accident recently, and Shelby, who is my biological mother, by the way, thought that I may require professional help."

"Biological mom? So have you kept in touch with her much over the years?"

"Not at all. We met each other just a few months ago. She found me, actually. I had never tried to figure out who exactly my mother was."

"Why not?"

"I... I just didn't. It wasn't like I had promised myself I wouldn't or anything. It just never occurred to me to find her."

"No curiosity?"

"A little, sometimes. But not enough to prompt me to go after her. And I didn't want to ask my dad's either, because I didn't know if they'd like it or not."

"So your dads never brought it up themselves?"

"No. But I'm sure that they meant to. Sometime." Dr. Walsh heard the defensiveness in Rachel's tone.

'Of course. They couldn't just spring it on you, could they? But since the time that you have met Shelby, how has your interaction with her been?"

"Well... It's a little complicated, I guess. I mean, Shelby is nice, but our relationship, if it can be called that, had been rather strained. It still is, in a way. She just..." said Rachel, trailing off towards the end and looking down at her hands. Her immediate assessment of the therapist had been positive, but she still wasn't quite comfortable revealing the dynamics of her relationship with Shelby. Dr. Walsh waited patiently for a minute and when it became obvious that Rachel wasn't ready to elaborate on that particular subject, she changed track.

"In that case, how is it that you're living with her?"

"I just... Well, my grandparents could also have taken me in, but they were rather reluctant, and Shelby wanted me to stay with her. So it just worked out better the way it is."

"You're comfortable at her house?"

"Yes."

"That's great. I see a lot of people who find it difficult to move from one house to another, even without any other problem. It's always a bit disorienting, isn't it, change in neighborhood and things like that."

"It's not all that bad, I suppose. There wasn't really much trouble adjusting, considering that we've barely spoken to each other. Surprisingly easy, actually." Dr. Walsh nodded, interlocking her fingers. She definitely wanted more information about the various people Rachel interacted with on a day-to-day basis, whether Shelby or someone else. The people around her would be as important as her own feelings in determining the nature of her thoughts.

"Just you and her, then?"

"No. Quinn has moved in with us as well."

"Quinn would be...?"

"She is one of my classmates and fellow Glee Clubbers."

"And why's she staying with you?"

"Long story."

"I have plenty of time."

"Well, Quinn got pregnant a few months ago, and after her parents found out, they were rather upset and asked her to leave. She stayed with Finn, who was her boyfriend, and then with Noah, who turned out to be the baby's father," said Rachel," She just had the baby, and she's hardly in any position, whether in terms of finance or maturity, to be able to give her daughter a proper upbringing. So Quinn decided to put Beth up for adoption, and Shelby just had to be the one to take her. But the adoption was finalized before everything else happened, and now... Now Quinn has moved in because although the adoption can't be nullified, she wanted to make the transition easier. It was a rather spur of the moment thing."

"So are you and Quinn friends?"

"I wouldn't think that friends would be an accurate term, no. She spent a large part of our school life trying to cast a shadow over my existence by whatever means were available to her. She was rather popular, so it was simple for her to make my peers dislike me. And it only got worse after she joined Glee Club. Music is my forte, and I cannot say that I appreciated her encroaching into my territory even though I won't deny her talent. And then I was dating her ex-boyfriend. Overall, a rather messy affair."

"But you're still alright with all of this?"

"Oh yes. Although I was highly apprehensive initially, it soon became obvious that Quinn's concern was genuine and she had put past feelings of animosity aside for the time being."

"I was actually talking about Beth. Getting a little sister so suddenly after finding out about your mom. Relatives overload?" Dr. Walsh wasn't oblivious to the slight change in Rachel's demeanor after those words; the tilting of her body and setting of her jaw betrayed Rachel even as she tried to keep a blank face.

"Beth is not my sister."

"Shelby's your mom, isn't she?"

"Shelby made it rather clear to me that she wasn't willing to be anything more than my biological mother, and I suppose that was because you can't exactly change DNA," said Rachel, looking everywhere but at the therapist. She didn't want to talk about this, not really. But she'd never clearly expressed in words, even to herself, the anger and hurt that she'd felt at what she saw as a rejection.

"She... She was the one who came up to me. She left me a message, while I was more than content to continue with my life as it was. And then when I did find her, and think that maybe I could... that maybe I could create at least one nurturing relationship in my life that wasn't borne out of obligation, she was the one who had to decide, yet again, that we couldn't even be civil to each other. I do not appreciate someone making decisions for me."

"It is pretty irritating when someone tries to do that."

"Infuriating, especially when the person in question doesn't even bother to get to know you. I fail to understand why she didn't just stay away from me in the first place if she wanted to run off at the sight of me anyways."

"Her running away doesn't have anything to do with you, Rachel."

"Then what else does it have to do with? It's not like she didn't want children. Shelby adopted Beth because she wanted a child, and I don't see her running away from that commitment. She was so thrilled to first meet me, and then she suddenly had something akin to a panic attack. And that was simply because she doesn't want me. Who would? Rachel Berry, over-dramatic, obnoxious, ugly loser. That's all anyone sees."

"Not true. There are a lot of people who probably don't see beyond what you show them, but that doesn't mean Shelby is one of them. After the your father's accident, you've been staying with her, and did you feel like you weren't welcome there? Or that she was in any way more committed to Beth than to you?"

When Rachel thought about it, actually thought about it, she realized that the honest answer to those questions would be no. Shelby had done everything possible to make her feel comfortable, from buying organic vegan food to personally screening all her calls and messages so than no one would disturb Rachel when she wanted to be disturbed. She had even put aside the terms of adoption and let Quinn stay so close to Beth so that she could be more focused on her other daughter. But that didn't change the nagging feeling in Rachel's mind that Shelby was doing this only because her circumstances were compelling her to.

"I haven't felt that at all. I won't deny the fact that Shelby has gone out of her way to make me feel as if I belonged, but... She never said a word to me before, and all that she is doing for me now is... I can't believe that she's doing this because she wants to. There was no other option."

"No other option at all? No relatives? You mentioned your grandparents."

"Yes, but they were rather keen on getting rid of me. They weren't very... fond of the fact that their son married another man. It bothered them."

"But they would have taken you in had Shelby not agreed to do so, right?"

"Yes."

"Then I don't really think it's about circumstances, Rachel."

"But- How can you say that for sure?"

"I can't. It's just my opinion, and you're very welcome to not listen to it. However, I would like to know a little bit more about your adoption. To maybe form a... better opinion?"

"Of course," said Rachel, taking a breathe and gathering her thoughts. "My adoption wasn't technically an adoption. My fathers wanted a child and after much deliberation, they chose Shelby as the surrogate mother. As far as I know, I had no contact with her as a baby, and as I grew up, I never inquired about her, nor was I given any information. I came to know about her a few months ago on hearing a tape that she had recorded for me. I found her, eventually. We met and spoke... and although I expressed the desire to perhaps establish some form of a relationship, she seemed opposed to the idea. She didn't want to stay in direct contact with me, so we didn't talk much till the accident. It didn't help that she coached my arch-rivals."

"How was that for you, when she didn't want to stay in touch?"

"I'm not sure. I mean, I was never actively searching for a mother-figure in my life, and I would have gotten along fine even without knowing her. But I did have certain expectations, some dreams and rather fanciful notions of who my mother would be, and how we would meet. It was stupid, I suppose."

"Not at all. It's natural to dream, Rachel. Go on."

"Um... I-Yes, like I said, I had imagined how tearful and emotional our reunion would be. It wasn't. Well, maybe a little tearful, but awkward more than anything. She... It wasn't fair of her to shatter my illusions for her own selfish purposes."

"We don't always think of the way our actions will affect other people."

"But she's an adult. Shelby is supposed to be responsible."

"Being old has nothing to do with being responsible. I doubt she wanted to hurt you. But it might have been overwhelming for her to suddenly see you like that, all grown up, since she probably remembered you as a baby."

"It wasn't a cakewalk for me either."

"I know. And you've been incredibly mature about the whole affair from what I can see. I haven't met too many people of your age who are able to process so well. I'm half wondering why you would need to see me."

"I'm actually just good at processing out loud in front of a therapist. I'm used to it."

"Yeah, about that; why didn't you just see your old therapist?"

"I didn't like him too much. He was... rigid, I suppose you could call it. But my dads liked him, so we carried on the sessions for some time."

"And how about me?"

"I haven't had enough time form a definitive opinion, but you're not bad. For a therapist." Rachel finally smiled up at her therapist, something she had stopped herself from doing so far. This woman seemed a lot calmer, a lot easier to talk to than her previous doctor. With him, it was always as if he was trying to enforce his analysis and opinions on her, and she was never too sure of how much of their conversations he shared with her parents. But they liked him, so that was pretty much all there was to say.

"I will construct that as a compliment."

"Rachel Berry style."

"Rachel Berry style. Exactly." They were disrupted just then by a knock on the door. Dr. Walsh opened it to find Shelby on the other side.

"Well Rachel, time's up for today. Give me a call and we'll schedule the next meeting, okay?"

"And hour already?" Rachel had managed to get so involved in the conversation after the first awkward fifteen minutes that she hadn't noticed the time pass by.

"Already. Seemed a bit fast, right?" Rachel nodded and got up, getting ready to leave. She waited till Shelby had settled the payment, and then they began walking down the airy walkway of the clinic. Shelby was itching to ask Rachel what had happened, but she understood that it would be much too intrusive. You weren't supposed to ask people things like that even if you didn't have the warped history that she and Rachel shared. She knew that if Rachel felt the need, she would say something. Hopefully.

"Shelby. Fancy meeting you here." She had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed Dr. Elliott till she almost walked into him. Her therapist looked at her with an amused grin that many woman were known to have swooned over. He was handsome in a very ruffled, careless sort of way, with his stubble and and lopsided dimple and the locks of hair threatening to fall into his eyes. Shelby had wondered, the first time she'd seen him, why the guy hadn't just become a model. But after many, many sessions, she had become grateful for the fact that he hadn't.

"Daniel. What are you doing in this sad little place?" She glanced over at Rachel and saw the confusion on her face. "This is Rachel. Rachel, Dr. Elliot, my shrink."

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Elliot."

"Please, call me Daniel. Makes me feel a little less old." Shelby could see that his charm had worked on Rachel already. This was also part of why she hadn't wanted Daniel for Rachel. Not that the man was unscrupulous, but she knew first hand that transference was bound to occur. It did with her, and she wasn't ready for Rachel to have to worry about one more thing.

"Well Daniel, if I can interrupt your shameless flirting, we really need to get going. I'll give you a call. Might as well make use of the fact you're here."

"Always at your service. I won't hold you up right now, but I expect a date soon."

"Goodbye, Daniel." She didn't wait up to hear his reply and went ahead with a slightly bewildered Rachel following behind her.

"He's quite a character."

"That's being polite about it."

"So you see a therapist too?"

"Oh yes. I suppose it's some genetic thing or something."

"Why though? I apologize for being up front, but you seem to have a rather nice life." As Rachel said that, she realized that she actually had no way to verify that statement. She was surprised at her lack of knowledge about the person she'd been staying with for so long, and she made a mental note to rectify the situation. She wouldn't let the situation of regrets and questions about her dads lives repeat itself with Shelby.

"Long story. Maybe some other time?"

"I'm holding you to that."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Thank you all so so so much for all the reviews/story alerts. Point out typo's, and there will probably be some, since I didn't get time to edit this.

I know it's not long long, but it's one part. The next one is coming soon. I promise. But before that, **I need a beta, **which is why I posted this early. I'm going to be crazy busy till next April, so although I have tonnes of ideas, I need someone to keep them in line. PM me if you're up for being pestered like there's no tomorrow.

**kirei** : Oh I want to punch them too. And the sad thing is that people like that do exist.

How was tehrapy? Never done it myself, so any inputs would be nice. Also, I cannot write Finn. I know that. But I felt like taking other people's POV's as well. Again, inputs and feedback.:)

7 reviews? I would cry, if I was into that.


	7. Chapter 7 King Of Anything

**Title:** Anthem Of The Angels

**Chapter: **King Of Anything

**Pairing: **Quinn/Rachel

**Rating: **M. Has a death theme, but no character death. Also, femslash.

**Spoilers: **Takes place after EP22 'Journey'. May contain spoilers.

**Timeline: **Same day. Late afternoon, evening-ish.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee, the songs, or even the characters.

**Author's Note:**Un-beta-ed so feel free to point out errors. Happy Reading and please R&R. Reviews are my lifeline. Read A/N at end. Story Title is the name of a song by Breaking Benjamin. Chapter title is from Sara Bareilles.

* * *

_Quinn's good that way, messing with your head and stuff. Rachel won't be able to block Quinn out, but I think Quinn knows that better than me. She's the smart one, right?_

* * *

_"So you see a therapist too?"_

_"Oh yes. I suppose it's some genetic thing or something."_

_"Why though? I apologize for being up front, but you seem to have a rather nice life." As Rachel said that, she realized that she actually had no way to verify that statement. She was surprised at her lack of knowledge about the person she'd been staying with for so long, and she made a mental note to rectify the situation. She wouldn't let the situation of regrets and questions about her dads lives repeat itself with Shelby._

_"Long story. Maybe some other time?"_

_"I'm holding you to that."_

* * *

Shelby's house wasn't exactly something you would describe as small. And that was the first observation Judy Fabray made as she pulled her car into the driveway. The last time she'd been here was with Quinn and her gra- and the baby. Quinn had asked her to drop her off at the gate, and so she hadn't had the chance to actually see the house, which was hidden from view behind the line of trees.

It looked majestic right now, standing dominantly in the foreground as the setting sun cast a soft light on the structure, lending it a certain grace the harshness of the morning brightness couldn't, much like it's owner. A judgmental and altogether snarky comment was on the tip of Judy's tongue about how a school teacher couldn't possibly afford a place like this without some... extra help, so to say. But she refrained from voicing that thought to her daughter, not only because she was genuinely trying cure herself of her offensive nature, but also because she wasn't sure how Quinn would respond to the comment. She wanted to make a good impression, and her sarcasm wouldn't help if Quinn happened to like Shelby.

So she kept quiet as they made their way inside and up the stairs. The interiors of the house were as impressive as the exteriors, possibly done up by professionals. For a moment, she thought it was very much like her own home, but then she realized that there was one, rather stark difference. Her house had always made her feel slightly uncomfortable even though she'd lived there for over twenty years. It was almost as if the house was hostile.

But this place, as she came to understand, was just there. This house exuded no feeling whatsoever, good or bad. It seemed to have no history, no story and no depth. That was a good thing, in a way. It meant that there was still time for good memories and laughter and sometimes even tears to fill the space.

Her thoughts veered in another direction the moment they reached the door of Beth's nursery and she heard her granddaughter cooing softly. Judy went in with Quinn and they stood over the crib silently for a few minuted, watching the baby kick her legs out to try to get to the mobile swirling on top.

It was far to early to tell who Beth resembled more, but Judy could see that she had the color of Quinn's eyes, and a nose that looked like it belonged to her father. Oh well, at least she was healthy.

"You want to hold her?" Quinn didn't look at her mother as she spoke, trying to keep the eye contact to a minimum.

"Me? I-I'd love to. But I'll have to wash my hand first."

"Bathroom's the first door on the right."

"I'll just take a minute," said Judy. "Oh, and could you tell me where Rachel's room is?"

"What for?" Quinn was being a little abrupt and she knew it, but for all she knew, her mother would give Rachel a copy of the Bible along with a lecture on how she should be glad of being free of the influence of those 'sinners'. Not exactly the ideal thing to do.

"Don't worry, Quinn. I won't upset her. I promise." Judy knew exactly what Quinn was thinking, but that wasn't her intention. Russell might have done something like that, though.

"Mom, seriously? I'm not letting you go till you tell me what you want to say to her."

"Quinnie! Her parents just passed away. What do you think I'm going to say?"

"Fine. Two doors after the washroom. But don't push it if she doesn't want to see you."

"I won't."

And with that, Judy turned and left the room, stopping in front of Rachel's door. She knocked tentatively, holding her breathe till the door swung open. Rachel stood on the other side, looking surprised to see Judy standing in front of her. She popped her headphones out of her ears before speaking.

"Mrs. Fabray. I think you must have the wrong room. Quinn's down the hall."

"Oh no, dear. I've met Quinn already. I was actually wondering if I could have a word with you." Judy clutched her handbag and smiled at Rachel nervously, waiting for a reply.

"Of course. What is it?"

"Inside, please." Rachel nodded and stood aside, letting Judy enter the room.

"Please sit down, Mrs. Fabray. I apologize for the clutter. The room is usually a little more organized."

"Not a problem. Quinn room used to look like she'd waged World War III in it. This is almost a refreshing change. Don't worry yourself about clearing up, Rachel," said Judy, as Rachel had already started moving books and clothes around. "Please, just come here and sit."

She waited till Rachel had come and sat down on the edge of the bed. The girl looked at Judy with a mixture of curiosity and apprehension.

"There's... I have something which I thought you might like to see." She took out a tattered looking album from her purse and handed it to Rachel. "It's- It's from my school days."

"Is that my _father_?" whispered Rachel ludicrously . She had opened the album and was now staring at page after page of photographs of the same group of people, with a few changes here and there. Four boys and two girls, all looking to be about the same age Rachel was now. She hadn't noticed in the first picture, but as she looked at more of them, she realized that the tall African boy towering over the others looked exactly like Archer would have when he was that young. And one of the girls next to him also looked familiar, in a distant sort of way.

"Yes, that is indeed your father, when we were younger."

"We?"

"That's me. And that's Ronald Puckerman, Noah's father." She pointed at herself and then at Ronald, smiling fondly as she looked at a photograph of them near the old ice-cream parlor.

"Wh- I- What were you and Daddy doing together?" To say Rachel was shocked would be rather an understatement. She'd never heard her father even mention Judy's name, or give any indication of the fact that he had once known the mother of the girl who made Rachel's life hell.

"We were very good friends, your father and I. In high school, the six of us were very, very close, but Archer and I were always a little partial to each other."

"I don't understand. He never talked about you, or any of these people." At this, Judy's cheeks turned slightly pink, and she stared down at her feet, ashamed of what she was going to say.

"After... After I met Russell, I distanced myself slightly from everyone else. He didn't like it, you see; my socializing with so many other young men. But I still spoke to Archer regularly. And then, a few months after I got engaged, Archer met your other dad, and he 'officially' came out. I wasn't particularly surprised, to be honest. I always had a feeling that he was more... attracted to other men. I had prepared myself for that very day; prepared myself to be the good, supportive friend. But I hadn't counted on Russell's presence."

"So you shunned Daddy, just like everyone else? Typical." Rachel's tone was carefully controlled, but there was a faint shimmer of anger still present in her voice. She was more than used to homophobia, and took it in her stride, but when someone behaved that way with her fathers, especially people who called themselves their friends, it irked her.

"No, Rachel. Please try to understand. I had no choice. I was... Russell would never have allowed me to contact Archer once word got out, and I couldn't... You won't understand the type of society I lived in."

"I can understand that you abandoned the man you claimed was your friend at a time when he most required your support."

"I'm not proud of what I did, Rachel, and trust me, I would do it very differently if I had another chance. But I was young, afraid of being rejected just days before my wedding. My family is very orthodox, and they would have been so terribly angry. I did- I do regret it. I had thought that maybe our relations would mend with time. But your father was a very proud man, and rightfully so. When I did try to call him after a few years had passed, he made it clear that we could never come back to the same place... He was a wonderful, wonderful friend Rachel, possibly the best I ever had, and I cannot express to you how much it would mean to me if you would take these. As an apology."

She pressed the album towards Rachel, who looked at it hesitantly.

"To ease your conscience?"

"No. Only Archer could have done that. Take them, because you're his child, and I want you to be able to get an insight into his childhood. I imagine his parents aren't very forthcoming about it."

"I-I don't know what to say. This belongs to you, Mrs. Fabray."

"And that's why I'm asking you to take it."

"If you're sure..." Rachel didn't exactly trust Judy's motives, but these glimpses of her father's childhood were the only things she'd ever get now, and they were far too tempting to resist. Archer had never spoken about his school days to her. In all honesty, he hadn't spoken much at all. Whenever they all had the opportunity to actually spend time together, they would speak about music and architecture and sometimes Rachel's school, but that was just about it.

"Of course I'm sure. And there are some notes at the back you might enjoy. Your father wasn't always as innocent as he seemed." She turned a few pages of the album and took out the photograph, flipping it over and handing it to Rachel, who laughed at the childish scrawl on the back. It seemed that being bad-ass wasn't Noah's forte; it was his father's.

Quinn came in just then, more than a little surprised at the scene in front of her. She'd gotten a little agitated when her mom didn't come back and had come to check if Rachel was alright. She had most certainly not expected Rachel to be sitting in front of Judy and smiling. Actually smiling, not the automatic show face smile she had kept reserved for whenever required.

But she didn't end up figuring out what was going on since her mother quickly got up and took Quinn out with her, apologizing for taking so long. Quinn shot Rachel a puzzled look over her shoulder and the girl just shrugged, holding the album up by way of explanation. But that wasn't overly helpful, and Quinn just pushed her queries aside, since Judy had washed her hands and was now deemed hygienic enough to handle an infant.

Judy picked up Beth and carried her to Quinn's room, gushing over her cuteness the entire time. Quinn was more than a bit amused at her mother's baby talk, and didn't try to hide the smirk on her face.

"Don't look at me like that. She's an itty-witty widdle baby. Aren't you, sweetie? I refuse to go all grammatical on her."

"Maybe you could try talking in a recognizable language, then?"

"I'll have you know that I raised two children just fine without your prompting. It's unnatural to speak to someone that small in a recognizable language."

"Amen." They looked up to see Shelby standing at the door, with a look on her face that could possibly be described as amused. If you knew how to read Shelby's face, that is.

"I'm sorry for interrupting, but I was just checking up on Beth."

"Of course. You want to-"

"No, it's fine. Like I said, I was just checking. I'm sure a little more baby talk will do her good." Shelby smiled at Judy and left the room, shutting the door behind her. Quinn had told her that Judy would be coming over, so she wasn't surprised, but she was a bit uneasy. Judy Fabray made her feel as if something was off. Not in the sort of way that made her think that she would harm Quinn or Beth, because otherwise Shelby wouldn't have let her near them, but more in the way that said she was a little to unsure of her own mind.

But she shrugged it off and left them alone, not wanting to interfere in the very little time Quinn had given Judy.

* * *

After Shelby left the room, Quinn and Judy sat there for some time in silence, simply fussing over Beth more than necessary in order to avoid each other. Quinn didn't have much to say to her mother. They'd never really learnt to talk to each other except to discuss any guests or her father's work. Since all of that wasn't an option right now, they just sat next to each other, struggling to break the silence. Quinn felt almost sad about the fact that she didn't have any words for her own mother. Interacting with your own family was a social skill the Fabray's never learnt.

"Come back home."

"Excuse me?"

"Come back home with me. Not right now, obviously, but soon. Beth's big enough now, Quinn, and you really should come back now."

"Um... I ... Seriously?"

"Don't be silly, sweetie. Of course I'm being serious. It'll all work out, you see, since my divorce with Rus- with your father has almost been finalized. He's agreed to let me keep the house and half of all of our other assets in exchange for my discretion about the reason of our separation. So we'll have the house, and there'll be no need to worry about finances at all. It'll be perfect." It took all of Quinn's willpower not to snort.

"Mom, I get that you want me to come back, and I do too," said Quinn, lying through her teeth," but it's way too early. Beth's not old enough yet. She still needs me to take care of her."

"Nonsense. She's over a month old. That's more than enough. And anyways, she is Shelby's daughter, right Quinnie? You shouldn't get so involved."

"I know exactly who's daughter she is, Mom. But I'd just rather stay with her till she started weening. I don't want her on formula milk, and neither does Shelby. You know, her _real_ mother," said Quinn through gritted teeth. This was why she hadn't wanted to talk to her mom, and this was why she'd been avoiding her. Judy didn't exactly understand the concept of refusal. Or of backing off.

"You could easily use a pump, sweetie. I did just that for you and your sister, and the two of you turned out alright, didn't you?" At that moment, Quinn wasn't very sure if her mother understood the meaning of the word 'alright'.

"Can you please just not push this. I said I'll come back, didn't I? I don't want Beth to become like, dysfunctional or something because you were in too big of a hurry to get me home."

The fact of the matter was that Quinn just didn't trust Judy. Shelby's house was temporary, and Quinn knew very well that she would be moving back home soon, but she wanted the 'soon' to be as late as possible, or at the very least till her parents divorce papers were signed. Quinn had never once been in a place where she could count on her mother to stand up for her or to take her side, even when she was right. She couldn't be blamed for not jumping at Judy's offer since the lingering fear of Russell somehow interfering in their lives and kicking her out again was always present at the back of her mind.

"If that's what you feel I'm doing, then fine. I will 'back off', as you call it." Oh God. Quinn could see that her mother had already started tearing up, and it made her want to scream. Nothing could ever be about logical or reasoning, or Quinn's feelings or Beth's health. No, this had to revolve around Judy and how she had gotten offended.

"Mom, come on-" Quinn was cut off by the loudest bang she had heard in this house coming from below. It continued for several moments before stopping abruptly.

"What the hell?" She jumped off the bed and took Beth to her room, Judy following closely behind. As they neared the staircase, Quinn could make out raised voices. One sounded like Shelby and the other was- Oh no. No, this could not be happening. The universe could not dole out this much shit to her.

But as she got to the top of the staircase and peered down, she realized that it actually could.

Because standing in front of Shelby's door was none other than Russell Fabray himself, in all his drunk glory. He didn't appear to be drunk, but Quinn knew the signs too well; the beads of perspiration shining on his face, the slight redness of his neck and the fact that he was constantly fidgeting with his shirt buttons all gave away his state.

Shelby was standing in front of him, her arm resting on the door and effectively blocking his path. She looked bewildered, to say the least. Having never met Russell, she couldn't understand why this man was standing at her door shouting profanities at the top of his voice. Since he didn't seem to be causing any physical harm, she was trying to avoid getting the cops involved.

Quinn was just about to move down when she felt a hand on her arm, holding her back. She turned to see Judy shaking her head, looking stricken. Quinn shrugged off her arm and, fighting her frustration, went down the stairs as fast as her stitches would allow. She stopped at the landing only to hear her father demanding to see where Shelby had 'locked up that harlot'.

"Let me in, dammit. You've got no shame, housing a tramp like that, but you can't stop me from seeing her. _Where_ is that damn piece of scum?"

"Listen, Mr. Whoever-you-are, I don't care what your problem is, but you need to get off my premises before I call the cops on you."

"Gonna call the cops, are you? Well why don't you tell them that you've kept my daughter with you without my permission, eh? I bet they'll love that. Little dyke bitch kidnapping a minor."

"Daddy, please! That's enough." Shelby turned to see Quinn standing behind her, and turned again to stare at the man in front of her, who now had a look of pure hatred on his face. This was Quinn's _father_?

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**Author's Note: **Thank you all so so so much for all the reviews/story alerts. Point out typo's, and there will probably be some, since I didn't get time to edit this.

Another short-ish chapter. Kill me. But one more update tomorrow. I promise. And that'll have the good stuff.

One of my reviewers very helpfully pointed put that Fin''s POV at the start of the previous chapter was a bit confusing, and after thinking about it, I realized I probably should have explained. These types of POV's from other characters may or may not pop up at random intervals during the story. It won't be the same character every time, but it'll be someone who knows something about either Quinn or Rachel. I found it a easy way to explain some character traits of both the main characters which may not be easily writable into the story, but which are relevant to the behavior of the characters. Tell me if it gets confusing, or if there's any better way to do it:)

**Fred**: We will be getting some Faberry soon. Well, whatever my definition of soon is, anyways:) Thanks for the review:)


	8. Chapter 8 What Hurts The Most

**Title:** Anthem Of The Angels

**Chapter: **What Hurts The Most

**Pairing: **Quinn/Rachel

**Rating: **M. Has a death theme, but no character death. Also, femslash.

**Spoilers: **Takes place after EP22 'Journey'. May contain spoilers.

**Timeline: **Same day. Late afternoon, evening-ish.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee, the songs, or even the characters.

**Author's Note:**Un-beta-ed so feel free to point out errors. Happy Reading and please R&R. Reviews are my lifeline. Read A/N at end. Story Title is the name of a song by Breaking Benjamin. Chapter title is from Rascal Flatts.

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_"Come back home with me. Not right now, obviously, but soon. Beth's big enough now, Quinn, and you really should come back now."_

* * *

_"Daddy, please! That's enough." Shelby turned to see Quinn standing behind her, and turned again to stare at the man in front of her, who now had a look of pure hatred on his face. This was Quinn's father?_

* * *

"Thought you'd come and show your face, did you? Freakin' little piece of scum. You... You disgraced me acting by like the tramp you are, and now you think you can just hide away here after making a spectacle of me in front of the entire town? ANSWER ME! Don't just stand there. Say something, you-" At this point Russell tried to push past the door, but Shelby held him outside. Had he not been as drunk as he was, he would probably have managed to push her aside, but as it was, all he could do was struggle against her and throw Quinn dirty looks over Shelby's shoulder.

"Get out! Out, dammit." Shelby finally managed to get him off her and she turned to Quinn. "Call 911. Go."

"Don't you call the police on me, you ungrateful bitch. I kept you in my house for your whole damn life. You can't put me in jail."

"Daddy, I-"

"DON'T you call me that. You are not my daughter. You're not, you hear me? Your mother must have been like you too, opening her legs for any guy who bothered to give her a second look. Shameless harlots, both of you. You've got your bastard child, and I bet you're hers."

"Mr. Fabray, that is enough! Quinn, why are you still here? Go inside, now."

"_No_. She is _not_ running away again," said Russell, focusing only on Quinn, who had tears running down her cheeks.

"You will stand there, and you're gonna hear whatever I want to tell you. It's because of me that you're even able to stand there, and you can't run away from me... Fucking whore... If you hadn't got yourself knocked up, none of this would have happened. You made them all laugh at me to my face, you bitch... To my face...All your fault. You think that spineless twit would have cared who I was sleeping with if you hadn't run off first?... Ruined my family... You did all of that.. I wouldn't have ever even met that woman, but you got me so riled up... I wish I'd gotten rid of you when I first had the chance. Always a disappointment, weren't you? I wanted someone to carry the family name, but I got you instead. I never treated you any different, though. Always made sure you had the best things given to you. But you... I should have realized."

"I'm sorry, Daddy. Please. I'm so sorry."

"What's your sorry going to do, huh? Couldn't get an abortion, could you? No, you were feeling too _pure_ and _religious_ to even think about an abortion after throwing your beliefs away to get knocked up in the first place. Freaking stupid- You did it to get back at me, didn't you? You and that bitch wanted me humiliated," said Russell, an almost maniacal gleam in his eyes,"You're not going to get away with this. I still have plenty of control here. You may have made a fool out of me, but not anymore. You're under age, get it? I'm gonna sue this freak, and then I'll drag you back home. I will make-"

"Mom, I called the police. They should be arriving soon." Rachel called out from the top of the stairs, taking in the scene in front of her. She saw Judy still standing at the top of the stairs and even from here, she could see that Quinn was shaking.

"Thanks honey. Mr. Fabray, if you don't want to be arrested, I suggest you go. Now."

"I'll go, but I'll take that cunt with me. And I'll make you pay... I will do things to you that-"

"No! You sick bastard. Get the fuck out." The sheer volume of hatred in Shelby's voice surprised both Quinn and Rachel. Rachel had never heard Shelby speak in anything remotely resembling the almost growl her voice took on now. She watched, stunned, as Shelby shoved Russell out of the door with more strength than Rachel would have thought she possessed. She assumed he had fallen down outside by the soft thump she heard.

"Stay away from her, and stay away from my family. I know people in places you couldn't dream of, you spineless coward. So don't you ever dare even look this way again or I swear you'll wish you were never born." She slammed the door shut, sliding three of the locks in place and then stood clutching the doorknob in a vice-like grip, trying to get her breathing under control. The house was completely still for a moment before Shelby turned and saw Quinn behind her, still rooted to the same spot.

"Quinn? Honey, maybe you go upstairs. Rest a little." Quinn shook her head.

"i'm so sorry, Shelby. I-I didn't know he would come here. I'm sorry. I'll go, I sho-"

"Don't do this, Quinn. Look at me. Come on, look at me... What happened was not your fault in any way. You didn't do anything to warrant such behavior, and you're not going anywhere, is that clear?"

"Well, really now, Shelby. I think that's Quinn's decision, not yours." Judy had come down now, and was looking at Shelby in an almost reproaching manner.

"Where were you?" Judy looked more than a little taken aback at the harshness directed towards her.

"What?"

"You heard me. Where were you when that man went on and on abusing your daughter?"

"I-I was- with Beth. She needed-"

"Liar. I saw exactly where you were. You can't come and shield your child from a drunk maniac, and you expect me to tell her that she can go home with you to suffer through more of this nonsense?"

"Who are you to make such assumptions about me? you have no idea how hard-"

"I have every idea how hard this is. More than you may realize. But no matter how hard it may be for you, she is your daughter and it is your responsibility to protect her."

"It's not always black and white, Ms. Corcoran. Now that you have a child of your own, you'll realize that you can't judge so harshly."

"Yes I can. You bring a child into this world, then it doesn't matter what 'situation' you're in, or who else might feel bad. The only thing you should have been bothered about was how this was affecting her. Do you have any idea what sort of effect these kind of incidents have on children?"

"She isn't a _child_, not the way-"

"_Don'_t give me that bullshit. Just don't. You think I don't know people like you? Bringing children into the world to fit the model of a perfect family, and then not giving a damn about what happens to them as long as they keep their trap shut. Abuse isn't something that other people do, Judy. It starts from your own house."

"Quinnie! Will you let her speak to me like that?"

"Mom..."

"Sweetie, you know this isn't true. I love you, Quinnie, and I'm not letting you be abused. You know that."

"I-I love you too, Mom... But th-that was why I didn't want to go home with you. I just... Mom, I don't trust you. He's going to keep coming back because he knows you don't ever say anything. And I... I don't want to do this yet."

"Quinnie, no! You're listening too much to what Shelby's saying. We'll be fine, sweetie. Just come home and we'll be fine."

"No we won't" said Quinn, struggling to get the words out in between her sobs, " We never were, Mom. We were never fine. Why don't you ever see that?" In the background, Quinn could hear sirens, indicating that the police had arrived long after they were actually required, like some bad action movie.

But it didn't really register in her head as she continued to look at her mother, trying to understand why Judy couldn't, for once, be the adult in the conversation. Why couldn't she just let Quinn feel like she could let her guard down and not have to behave more maturely than her years required.

"Judy, I think it's best you leave now. You're welcome back here any time Quinn wants to see you, but not now."

"I- Fine. Call me, sweetie." Quinn just nodded and gripped herself tighter as Judy turned and walked out. She saw Shelby talking to the cops and made her way upstairs, not really sure of what to do with herself.

Flopping down on the bed with a soft thump, Quinn stared up at the ceiling and started breathing in deeply, trying to make the knot in her throat go away. Every breathe she took in hurt a little less till she started thinking about what had happened downstairs and the tears threatened to fall again.

She couldn't understand why he was doing this. As far as she knew, her father would have committed suicide before creating such a scene in front of someone else. He had seemed so different just then, the way he looked at her. She remembered when her parents had found out about the pregnancy; there had been disappointment in his eyes, but not the fury that she saw today. Something had happened to set him off, and she couldn't think of what it was.

"Can I come in?" Rachel was standing at the door, looking at Quinn with an unreadable expression on her face. Quinn scrambled to sit up straight, smoothening out imaginary wrinkles in her dress. For some reason she couldn't explain, Rachel and Shelby both made her extremely conscious.

"Yeah, sure. I... Um... I was just..."

"It's alright, I heard the... altercation." Quinn smiled at Rachel's attempt to describe the scene politely, but her smile faded when she thought about the fact that her father's tantrum had disturbed Rachel, and maybe even Beth.

"I hope it didn't bother you. I had no idea he would do something like this or I would have-"

"Would have what? You couldn't have stopped your father, Quinn, as I'm fairly certain that it's more than a little difficult to change his mind."

"It's not that."

"Then what?"

"The entire point of me being here is make stuff happen more smoothly. Not to add to the tension. Today shouldn't have happened."

"True, but not for the reasons you have in mind. What happened was wrong, because of the manner in which your father behaved with you. The scene he created had nothing to do with me or Shelby or Beth. He was just trying to derail you, and although I am not saying you're a saint, you didn't deserve what he said. That was just... It was uncalled for." Rachel did her level best to check the words that were coming out of her mouth since that man was Quinn's father, but it was proving to be difficult.

She had heard of Russell Fabray and his almost fanatic love of 'normality' and 'piousness' and all the other labels he could hide his twisted mind behind. Rachel could tolerate all that; she'd seen more than her fair share of homophobes, and it didn't bother her as much as it used to. But that man had the audacity to practically stalk the girl he'd kicked out of his house with thirty minutes notice. There was a limit to being pathetic which Russell had definitely crossed.

Rachel snapped out of her 10-things-I-hate-about-Russell-Fabray reverie when she saw the look on Quinn's face.

"What's wrong?" The girl looked like she was about to have a nervous breakdown.

"Why the hell are you doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Defending me."

"Because you were right," said Rachel in a slightly bewildered tone.

"That- That doesn't matter. That's not supposed to matter. God, why- why the hell do you have to be so nice to me when all I'll ever wanted to do was make you miserable? Why can't you just be mean for once?"

"Then that would make me no better than all the bullies in school. The only way to move forward is to rise above that pettiness."

"That's all idealistic bullshit."

"No, Quinn, it's not. You and many others call it that because you find it difficult to implement. But the fact is that if I were on some revenge spree right now, we would all be in a much worse place. I would end up like you were a few months ago; bitter, jealous and resentful."

Now, if anyone else had said that to Quinn, she might have gone and thrown them out of the nearest window, but Rachel's tone prevented her from doing so. Quinn could see that the other girl wasn't saying that to offend her or anything. She was just stating facts in her usual, undiplomatic manner.

"How- I was not jealous of you."

"I never pinned myself as the cause of your jealousy. But now that you've said it,you really were. My confidence bothered you. You and all the Cheerios, with your bulimia and anorexia and self-hate issues, could not fathom how I was so comfortable with my oh-so-flawed self."

"That's not true. We bullied everyone. And anyways, the first time I slushied you, it was an accident. I'd tripped on my shoelace."

"You bullied everyone, except for me. You never bullied me, Quinn. I was very well aware of the fact that the first time was an accident, but I was also aware of the fact that there was no second or third time. Now I'm guessing, and this is only a guess, that you were simply too disconcerted by my casual dismissal of the event. You couldn't bear to insult someone and then have them smile back at you rather than run away crying. And so you simply got others to do the bullying for you. It was easier when I shrugged of Karofsky, wasn't it?"

"Why the hell are you even seeing a shrink?"

"So my hypothesis was correct?"

"Yes, Berry. You were right, just like you always are. Now you can go ahead and perform your little leprechaun dance."

"Don't be sore loser, Quinn. I wasn't intending for this to be some sort of competition or anything. It was just a statement of facts, and I apologize if I offended you." Rachel was a little hurt by Quinn's mocking, since she hadn't been subjected to it for quite some time now. Quinn heard the hesitation in the brunette's voice and immediately backtracked.

"No, no you didn't... offend me. I was just... I don't like talking about myself, okay?"

"And I suppose that sarcasm is your defense mechanism?"

"What did I say about the not talking thing?"

"You really should reconsider, Quinn. Discussing one's feelings is a very healthy and highly recommended way of getting things sorted out. If you keep everything inside your head, it'll only get more tangled and harder to understand."

"There you go sprouting sage advice again. Thing with you, Rachel, is that you had this great family, and your parents were liberal and supportive and stuff, so you probably had a lot of 'lets-discuss-our-feelings' sessions at your place. My family, not so much. We were more of the 'screw you feelings, hows the weather today?" type. It was a bit nuts."

"More than a bit, I would say. It's obviously stunted your emotional growth."

"And you've only had emotional growth. What are you, four two or something?"

"This is precisely what I mean. You are unable to process any situation like an average human being."

"I'm a Fabray, Rachel. We're supposed to have 'above average' stamped on our foreheads at birth."

"Surely you're exaggerating." Although given Russell's behavior, Rachel almost believed what Quinn had said.

"Once my sister had come second in some inter-school state competition, and he made her stand outside for the entire day. The entire damn day in summer, mind you. I honestly thought it was his luck that she didn't get heatstroke."

"He-He made... he made his- How old exactly was she?"

"Eleven."

"No! That... That vile, vile man. How could he?"

"It's family tradition. Either you're on top, or you're nowhere. Simple stuff, really, once you've lived long enough. But like I said, you won't get it."

"I suggest you stop presuming that just because your family was... dysfunctional, everyone else's was perfect."

"Oh, so I suppose your father made you tape a list of do's and don'ts to every wall in your room and then locke- and then punished you if you didn't adhere to them?"

"Like I said, your family was more dysfunctional than usual. But the fact that my dads are gay doesn't imply that we're- we were some big, pink happy family. You don't have some rainbow shining on your head just because you're gay."

"Rachel, relax. Just calm down... I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't trying to make any assumptions about you or anything. It's just... You're always... You seem to have this fence built around your head and nothing anyone does manages to get through. And I know for a fact that you can't do that is your parents are like mine. I'm- I'm not saying they were perfect, but then even you can't say that they were like mine."

"My fathers took a lot of time before deciding that they wished to bring a child into this world. They gave a lot of thought to the difficulties our family would encounter, especially in Lima, but when they did decide, they did it whole heartedly. It took them years and they both desperately wanted a child by the time the legal procedures were circumnavigated. I suppose you could liken them to a straight couple who couldn't conceive for years and then one fine day were blessed with an infant. They went overboard," said Rachel in a matter-of-fact tone, sitting down and facing away from the blonde as she spoke.

"I have every scrap of paper, every single dress I ever wore, preserved like it's a national treasure. They tried very hard to be good parents. But for Dad... all the hardships he had faced simply for being himself had made his defenses go too high up, in a way. He found it difficult to lower them for me. But it gave him great satisfaction to help teenagers who were in the position he had once been; rejected and homeless. So he spent a lot of time away from home, involved with various NGOs... They loved me, but I think they loved each other a little more. Daddy couldn't let Dad go alone all the time, and they didn't want to disturb me by hauling me along everywhere. So Daddy stayed at home when I was very little, and then eventually started going everywhere with Dad. They weren't around too much."

Quinn kept quiet for a few moments, trying to place herself in Rachel's shoes. The first, impulsive thought that came to her was that the other girl was making too big a deal out of it. After all, hadn't Quinn wished a thousand times for her parents to go away for some time rather than staying at home and keeping tabs on her all the damn time? But then she thought of all the times she'd gone home and removed every bit of frustration of school on her mom. And she couldn't imagine what she'd have done without having someone to say all those things; someone who would be on her side, that is. How the hell had Rachel managed? No wonder her shrink was so rich.

She shuffled forward on the bed till she was siting next to Rachel, their feet dangling off the edge.

"But they cared about you. That means a lot."

"Your parents cared about you too, Quinn. I hope you don't doubt that."

"If they cared, then how did they kick me out so easily? They didn't even bother finding out where I went."

"Sometimes... Sometimes we do thing impulsively, in anger or hurt, and then aren't able to take them back, even though we may want to. They asked you to leave because they were angry, and then I suspect their pride stopped them from taking you back in. It happens, but that doesn't imply that your parents don't care. They're your parents, Quinn. They can't not care."

"Did you go temporarily deaf about half an hour ago? Because that's the only way I can explain your statement."

"Ha ha. Haven't I mentioned that you possess no sense of humour? I'm not commenting on what happened downstairs."

"He doesn't care, Rachel. He doesn't give a damn about me or anyone else till the time we don't mess with his 'reputation'. And I did that. He's... I don't think he was lying, when he said he would take me back home." Rachel had almost forgotten about that little piece of information. "And my dad... He's resourceful. Like, really, really resourceful."

"So's Shelby. You heard her; you're not going anywhere, especially not with that man."

"He's my dad, Rachel. And he's right about the fact that I'm not an adult yet. Technically, neither Shelby nor I have any say in where I'm going to be staying."

"Technicality has nothing to do with it. That man threatened you, Quinn. He threatened you and there were witnesses to that. If he wants to go to court, let him. Not one sane judge will ever allow him to take you home with him." Rachel looked furious, and Quinn couldn't even express how grateful she was. This girl, this girl who basically had every right to throw her to a pack of wild dogs, was defending her. She was prepared to stand up for Quinn when her own mother couldn't be bothered to do so.

Quinn watched for a few moments as Rachel slipped into one of her rants and she knew that she couldn't _tell_ Rachel how much that meant to her; no, Quinn wasn't good with those sort of words. Nor, for that matter, was she good at expressing any sort of emotion that didn't involve insulting someone else. But pregnancy was supposed to make people's brains turn to mush and Quinn, therefore, couldn't be blamed for shocking Rachel into silence by encasing her in an awkward, but still rather tight, hug.

Quinn pulled herself back moments later, looking at Rachel tentatively. The brunette didn't looked too freaked out. She actually looked... was that a smirk on Rachel's face? Was it really?

"Quinn, you can stop looking so terrified now. I'm not going to shout at you."

"I- Um, yeah. That's cool." Quinn hadn't even thought of the very real possibility of Rachel screaming her head off. She'd been more worried about how the other girl would take the sudden mood swing. But now she was also grateful for the fact that Rachel hadn't thrown her out of the house, like she'd done with Finn. She could still see the poor boy's face as Rachel ran after him after he'd tried to hold her hand, rattling off all his faults. He hadn't visited since then, although Quinn knew he got updates from Kurt.

"Honestly, I won't. It was just a one time thing. Finn can be rather... grating. He does mean well, though."

"If only he could mean well without acting like a douche bag."

"Quinn! I thought you liked him."

"I did... I do, actually. But he's just so... dense. It gets more irritating than cute after a while. I always wondered how you managed to fall for him, with all your intelligence."

"You think I'm intelligent?"

"I never said you were anything but. And Finn is the opposite of intelligent. I don't think he ever grasped the concept of grammar. Or words, for that matter. What did you guys ever even talk about, anyways?"

"We didn't actually ever do a lot of talking. Finn was always more invested in the physical side of our relationship. Not that I minded, because as I've said, girls-"

"TMI, Rachel. TMI."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was inappropriate to discuss sexual-"

"Whoa. Okay, not inappropriate, really. I'm just... I'm the conservative Chastity Club girl, okay? So just tone down the... _sex_, will you?" Quinn whispered the word as if it was a disease.

"Of course. But... Well, didn't you and Noah hav- didn't you procreate?" If Quinn had been drinking something, the liquid would probably be up her nose right now. So she was really glad she wasn't drinking.

"Procreate? Procreate? Seriously?... God, you're a piece of work, aren't you?" Quinn knew she'd never be able to look at Puck without laughing again. Rachel Berry had single handedly slaughtered the manwhore.

"I was simply trying not to offend your sentiments. And I believe that you were trying to dodge the question."

"In case you didn't notice, I sort of had a baby some time back. So the question answers itself."

It was at this point in the conversation that Shelby moved away from the door and crept into Beth's nursery as quietly as possible. She hadn't been meaning to eavesdrop at all, but when she'd gone to talk to Quinn, Rachel was already there and curiosity made sure that Shelby remained rooted to the door.

She'd only been meaning to tell the girl that the threats Russell made were completely empty. Not for nothing had Shelby put up with rich brats for years on end. She had managed to forge very useful contacts with their parents, who were eternally grateful to her for sorting out their children and giving most of them decent recommendations. Her word sometimes meant the difference between Ohio State University and NYU, so there were always a few people she could call to pull some strings in case Mr. Fabray ever pulled a stunt like that again.

But Rachel seemed to be doing a far better job of managing Quinn than Shelby, so she didn't interrupt, and as she listened, she got to know a little more about her estranged daughter's life than she would have liked. Were Archer and James really distant? Should she maybe have done a little more research before saying yes to them? Shelby was left wondering if she wasn't the first parent from whom Rachel hadn't gotten the desired attention, and it made her uneasy.

Her first thought had been that Rachel was exaggerating. Children did that sometimes, she knew. But as she had listened, it became clear that Rachel was doing anything but exaggerating. Her description was short and to the point, and not once did she have anything bad to say about her fathers. This wasn't someone who wanted unnecessary attention; this was someone who hadn't been given the care that a child required.

Shelby wondered if this was the reason Rachel was always so bright, so optimistic to the point of being overbearing. If this was why the girl had clung so hard to her even as she pushed her away.

She'd always thought that she had made the right decision. That she had been helping two good people who would care for Rachel even more than any straight couple. They had been so enthusiastic, so involved. How had that enthusiasm managed to fade?

Her thoughts kept troubling her as she picked up her other baby girl and took the sleeping infant to her room, gently laying down on the bed with the baby on top of her. She stroked the soft hair on Beth's head, marveling at how little she was. Rachel would have been like that too, so soft and light and... and just so baby.

Would her hair have stuck up in little tufts on her head? Maybe her eyes told their own story even then. Shelby had never felt the loss of those years as keenly as she did now, when she had both of her children in front of her. The comparisons weren't fair, and Shelby tried not to make them, for all of their sakes, but she couldn't help but wonder what exactly she had missed out on. How could she possibly get back all those first times, those missed moments and special memories that forged the bond between parents and children?

But then she thought of Rachel as she was now; growing up, but not quite there yet. Still a child who needed guidance and support, who had so many more firsts yet to come that Shelby could get to be a part of, if she wanted. Sixteen years was a long time, but it wasn't a lifetime. There was more to come yet, and Shelby knew that this time, she'd stick around for the ride.

Her phone vibrated on the bedside table just then, pulling her out of her reverie. She picked it up, careful not to disturb Beth, and frowned at the unknown number.

"Corcoran."

"Ms. Corcoran, this is Janice Berry, Rachel's grandmother." As if she wouldn't recognize that old hag's voice anyways.

"What can I do for you, Mrs. Berry?"

"I wished to speak to you regarding the issue of Rachel's guardianship, which currently rests in my hands. My husband and I are planning to leave Ohio very soon, and Rachel will need to come with us."

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**Author's Note: **Thank you all so so so much for all the reviews/story alerts. Point out typo's, and there will probably be some, since I didn't get time to edit this.

**Alex:** Here you go. More nuttiness.

**Just Me: **Thank you:) And I guess I sort of left this chapter hanging too. I think new episodes of Glee bring out to evilness in me:)

Late, but I had conjunctivitis. Lovely, swollen set of red eyes. Hence the delay.

How was the Rachel's dads thing? I always found something a bit off about them. Not for any particular reason, but just because.

Oh, and Glee Season 2. It was funny as hell, but it was Jacob and Mr. Shue and Sue who were funny. I didn't like the crack house thing too much, but it is Glee. And not nearly enough Quinn. Although when Jacob was interviewing her, did it seem as if Quinn/Dianna was fighting off a smile?Ignore my obsessive attention to Quinn-related detail.

I died during Empire State of Mind. First, because Finn looked STUPID. Second, because Quinn's trying to kill us all. It's a conspiracy. I swear. There should be laws against making people's brains turn to jelly with extremely dangerous radiations of hotness. They came right off the scren and hit me.

Loved the cat fight, though. Epic is the only word that comes to mind. Also loved the number of ways Sue was able to describe Santana's boob job. That's called imagination, people.

Overall, decent enough, but not the extreme, extreme epicness I expected in terms of the main characters. I want more nice Rachel, and more Quinn. Just more Quinn.

I have Telephone stuck in my head. Also, Sam's lips. It's a bit rude to stare, but dude, that guys lips are just too damn huge. He gives Angelina Jolie major competition. Heard something about Rachel/Lea's lips magically expanding from the previous season, but I didn't actually notice. Am I as dense as her boyfriend, Finn(Read- Big Gay Beard.)?


	9. Chapter 9 Never Bloom Again

**Title:** Anthem Of The Angels

**Chapter: **Never Bloom Again

**Pairing: **Quinn/Rachel

**Rating: **M. Has a death theme, but no character death. Also, femslash.

**Spoilers: **Takes place after EP22 'Journey'. May contain spoilers.

**Timeline: **Continuation

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee, the songs, or even the characters.

**Author's Note:**Un-beta-ed so feel free to point out errors. Happy Reading and please R&R. Reviews are my lifeline. Read A/N at end. Story Title is the name of a song by Breaking Benjamin. Chapter title is from The Perishers

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_"Thanks honey. Mr. Fabray, if you don't want to be arrested, I suggest you go. Now."_

_"I'll go, but I'll take that cunt with me. And I'll make you pay... I will do things to you that-"_

_"No! You sick bastard. Get the fuck out." The sheer volume of hatred in Shelby's voice surprised both Quinn and Rachel. Rachel had never heard Shelby speak in anything remotely resembling the almost growl her voice took on now. She watched, stunned, as Shelby shoved Russell out of the door with more strength than Rachel would have thought she possessed. She assumed he had fallen down outside by the soft thump she heard._

* * *

_"Like I said, your family was more dysfunctional than usual. But the fact that my dads are gay doesn't imply that we're- we were some big, pink happy family. You don't have some rainbow shining on your head just because you're gay."_

_

* * *

_

_"Sometimes... Sometimes we do thing impulsively, in anger or hurt, and then aren't able to take them back, even though we may want to. They asked you to leave because they were angry, and then I suspect their pride stopped them from taking you back in. It happens, but that doesn't imply that your parents don't care. They're your parents, Quinn. They can't not care."_

* * *

_"Ms. Corcoran, this is Janice Berry, Rachel's grandmother." As if she wouldn't recognize that old hag's voice anyways._

_"What can I do for you, Mrs. Berry?"_

_"I wished to speak to you regarding the issue of Rachel's guardianship, which currently rests in my hands. My husband and I are planning to leave Ohio very soon, and Rachel will need to come with us."_

_

* * *

_"I'm sorry, what did you just say?"

"I believe you heard me just fine, Ms. Corcoran. Rachel is legally my responsibility, and the only reason I allowed her to stay with you was because she insisted and we were still in the area. But now that we're going back home, my husband and I feel that it will be better for Rachel to come with us. I wouldn't like to explain to the lawyers why the child placed under my care isn't even in the same part of the country as me."

"Your care? Your CARE? Are you freakin' kidding me? God, woman, you have nerve."

"Don't take the Lord's name in vain. But then, why am I expecting something else from you? And I'm sure you have some new fangled notion of there being no higher power or some tosh like that."

"I- What the heck does that have to do with anything?" Russell's visit had already frayed Shelby's nerves, and she just wasn't in a mood to handle this demented bat.

"It has everything to do with Rachel. My granddaughter will grow up a heathen in your care, and I refuse to allow that. It's already been so long, with my son allowing her to be brought up as a Jew, of all things. But now I have a chance to repair that damage, and I will use it to the fullest."

"Repair the damage? Your talking as if she's been abused or something. I get that you basically think her entire life was a sin. I get that, even though it's stupid."

"You hav-"

"Don't interrupt me while I'm talking," said Shelby, the authority in her voice enough to shut Janice up for the time being. "I get it. But no matter how horrible you may find it, I will not allow that child to be exposed to such views day in and day out. That was her life, her reality. She had two men for parents; two men who loved her and loved each other enough to be able to keep their family together despite people like you telling them every day how horrible they were. That's how she remembers them, and you're not going to change that."

"Are you implying that I would try to portray my own son in a negative light?"

"Oh, yeah. That's exactly what I'm saying, and don't use any emotional bullshit to prove otherwise. You'd do anything to put Rachel into that little box you've labeled 'normal'."

"And what, may I ask, is so wrong with being normal? The world was made a certain way for a reason, and defying it just because you want to prove you're something too great isn't a good idea. I saw my baby being tortured every day because of the way he chose to be. God was punishing him for going against His wishes, and he'll punish Rachel too. Don't you see? What happened was a sign from him. A sign that she can still be set on the right path."

"Oh my... I- Are you for real? Do you have any fucking emotions in you? Your son is dead, and you think it's a damn sign from God? You think that God sends his signs in the form of a bunch of drunk college kids?"

"God works in mysterious ways."

"And you, along with a bunch of other psychos are the only ones who can decipher those ways because you guys get have little chats with him every day, right? He tells you what's right and what's wrong, and then tells you that you've been given the job of enforcing His will because you're just so damn special."

"I don't wish to speak to someone who can't complete a single sentence without the help of crass language. The bottom line is, I am her legal guardian. Let her go willingly, Ms. Corcoran, or I will take her by force."

"We'll see about that, you bitc- you git. She's my kid, and I will make that legal."

"I'd love to know how you plan to do that."

"I-I will. Rachel may not be an adult, but she's not two either. She can chose who she wants to live with."

And she'd chose to live with you, wouldn't she? With the woman so caring that she couldn't handle being around her for more than a day. I am her family, whatever our relations in the past may have been, and you were a stranger till just a few days ago. How do any of us know that you won't suddenly decide that you can't deal with Rachel yet again and throw her out of your life? Get real, Ms. Corcoran."

"You don't even- Hello? Janice? Hello?... Damn her." Because Janice had just hung up on Shelby, who was now left to think about what she'd blurted out in the midst of a heated discussion.

Perhaps she shouldn't have cursed quite as much as she did, but it was a subconscious reflex, to annoy the person in front of her in order to get the upper hand. And anyways, Janice deserved it. That woman and her warped ideas made Shelby sick, and it was likely that Janice had the exact same thoughts about her.

But that wasn't important right now; Rachel was. She knew that sending the girl with her grandparents would make her life a living hell. They'd probably ship her off to some brainwashing reform school or something similar. But she wasn't very sure of how to stop that. Because evil though she may be, Janice was also correct in her assessment of the situation. Or that's what Shelby thought, anyways.

She had run out of Rachel's life even when the girl had begged her to stay, and she'd never even had the decency to explain her actions, however valid they may have seemed to her. She'd seen a happy, well adjusted girl who didn't seem to need a mom in her life, and had taken that at face value.

Shelby, after all, was a complicated person to have around. She had a dark past which sometimes gave her certain brusqueness, and laced her persona with a rigidity and intolerance for mistakes. In all honesty, she hadn't wanted her only child to have that impression of her, or to have to walk on eggshells around her all the time because of the way she was. It wasn't Rachel's fault that Shelby didn't know how to interact with people in a personal way.

She could take orders, and she could give them, but small talk wasn't her thing, and that had caused more than a few problems when she'd initially come to Carmel High. The parents were almost all high society snobs, and for them, it was pretty normal to drop in at school to interrogate the new teacher; looking out for their child's best interests, they'd said. Yeah right. She'd been more than a little offensive with some of them, and after Vocal Adrenaline had started winning every competition they took part in, the parents were more than happy to never see her face again except to make big donations to the club.

And Rachel… She didn't fit in any of the categories Shelby used to classify people. Then why should that girl have to deal with Shelby blowing hot and cold every day till she tried to figure out what place Rachel held in her life? It was so much better to just cut her off altogether, to save her from being hurt twenty times a day by just hurting her once. At least it had seemed like it at the time.

Now, as Shelby looked back on the events that had transpired, she came across as a little cruel, a little immature, and even a little heartless. What was that thing about hindsight?... Maybe she should have given them a little more time. Or given Rachel some decent reasons without leaving the girl to grope in the dark to try to figure out what she'd done wrong when it hadn't really been her fault at all.

It was done, though, and she couldn't take all that back. But maybe she could prevent Rachel from getting hurt even more than she already had. Shelby promised herself that she wouldn't jump to conclusions or act without consulting Rachel this time around. She didn't have any exact idea of how to keep Rachel here, at home, but her lawyer would be the one to deal with that. First, she needed to talk to Rachel and ask her what she wanted. The rest would be taken care of easily.

* * *

"Mom, can I talk to you for a minute?" said Rachel, poking her head into Shelby's room.

"Sure, honey. Come in." Shelby sat up a little straighter on the bed and waited as Rachel came and sat next to her. She'd been meaning to go talk to her, but this was a bit fast.

"I... Um, I'm not disturbing you, am I?"

"Of course not. What's up?"

"Nothing. I just... Well, I wanted to talk to you."

"Yeah? What about?"

"I didn't actually have anything particular in mind. It has recently come to my attention that I know next to nothing about you, and I was hoping to rectify the situation," said Rachel, flashing Shelby a reasonably bright smile.

"So you want to know stuff about me?"

"Precisely. I've even prepared a questionnaire, if you find that more comfortable." She proffered a sheet of paper which Shelby pushed back into her hand.

"No," said Shelby. "No, I think we can manage without that. Just... Just ask me anything you want." She relaxed against the headrest and waited as Rachel thought out her questions.

"Okay then. Where are you from?"

"I hail from Cleveland, Ohio."

"Cleveland? Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?"

"Uh huh. Although I never actually went to that place."

"Why not? I would have considered it of utmost importance. Or weren't you musically inclined at that age?" asked Rachel, although she was pretty sure she knew the answer.

"Was that the best reason you could come up with? No, I had thought about going, but I never seemed to remember. And I didn't live very close either, so I couldn't just pop in any time I wanted. And then I moved here," said Shelby, avoiding any mention of where she had lived exactly. Rachel didn't need to know that her mom had once lived in the dark underbelly of the city.

"Hmm... Well, although I'm a little disappointed, I suppose you can take me there someday. That way, I won't have to put up with just a description, and you can rectify your mistake."

"Sure. We'll work something out." Maybe after she was dead, because no way in hell was she ever going to go back there again.

"And maybe we could see your family as well while we're there," suggested Rachel a little tentatively. She'd sensed that there was some sort of backstory involving Shelby's family, but hadn't had the guts to ask about it. This was a more roundabout way of figuring out, and low though it may be, it worked for her curiosity.

The slight darkness that passed over Shelby's face pretty much confirmed Rachel's theory about the whole family thing. But what was it exactly?

"Now that we're talking about family... I got a call from your grandmother and she... She..."

"She what? Wants to meet me?"

"You could say that, I suppose. But she actually... They're going back home, and they want to take you with them," said Shelby, waiting for Rachel to absorb the information. She wanted to see Rachel's reaction before saying anything else.

"T-They want to... What?"

"They want you to leave Ohio and go to their house."

"Go to... They live on the opposite side of the country," said Rachel in a flat voice. On the other side of the country. She didn't even want to process what it meant for her to have to go with them.

"I know. It's really far away and for you to move all the way there... Do you want that?"

"Wan- Do I have a choice? I mean, after my parents, aren't they the ones responsible for stuff like this?"

"Yeah, but you still have a choice. If you don't want to go with them, you don't have to. You could maybe stay here?"

"With you?"

"With me, yes."

"I- Don't take this the wrong way, because I do want to, but I really don't think I can. Grandma won't agree."

"You don't need to worry about your grandmother. I'll deal with her. But just tell me what you want to do. Because honestly... I'd really like it if you stayed. I know we have this crazy thing between us, but I'd like to get to know you, Rachel. And properly, this time around."

"I'd like to get to know you too. But I don't want you to have to go through all sorts of trouble for me."

"I do. I was nuts to throw away the first chance to get to know you. I really was, but we'll get around that. You're right; your grandmother will most likely be a handful. But I know some of the best lawyers around."

"Lawyers?"

"Um, yeah. She is your guardian. So if she wants you to go, and you want to stay, we need to have a court hearing to decide what's better for you."

"And what if I can stay with you? What does that mean? Does she still have a say in everything? Do I have to call her and ask her for permission before I do everything?"

Shelby thought for a moment before replying. Truth was, she didn't know the answer to most of those questions. She hadn't had any time to think or get the desired information before talking to Rachel. Her priority had, after all, been to just make sure that she and Rachel were on the same page. What they wanted was possible, for sure, but how they would have to go about it wasn't something she knew about.

"I don't think you'll have to do that. But about the other stuff- I don't know. She just called some time back and I didn't really get time to do anything before speaking to you. We could get all the information you want tomorrow, if that's okay?"

"Tomorrow's fine. Tomorrow's good, actually. This will give me time to prepare a list of queries." And for once, Rachel's planning seemed very, very reasonable. As the girl left the room, Shelby brought out her own laptop and taking a leaf out of Rachel's book, began to type out every little thing she needed to know.

* * *

The next one is coming pretty soon. I didn't want to fuse it because this chapter would become way too long. More of Rachel and Quinn next time. And I added a new story. One-shots, the first of which is sort of, kind of a back-story to this one, with minor adjustments. Do read.

**Nice**: Thank you:) And yeah, Quinn needs a nice guy. Sam seems nice enough so far, but I still get that gay vibe from him. Like RM is trying to make it a big surprise for later, but it's just a bit obvious.

Episode 4 was amazing. A personal favorite of mine except for what happened with Brittany. That was so, so sad. But otherwise, this episode was so essentially Gleeful. This reminds me of all the reason's I got hooked onto Glee in the first place. They're not all trying to kill each other, Rachel is crazy, but is still nice, and the whole bonding between all of them through the episode was nice to watch. And of course, Faberry. Granted, Rachel was trying to get Quinn to sing with someone else, but still. It was interaction, and it wasn't part of our imaginations. Nice.

Puckerman in Juvi. Awesome. It's so him. And the way Kurt performed was brilliant. Plus the little shot in there of Rachel feeling bad about him having to do it alone because of her. Yes people, they are not total power hungry hounds. They do care.

Even the Finn/Rachel thing wasn't irritating, because it sort of seemed real. It wasn't the over-emotional and over-serious relationship we'd been getting so far. They were actually discussing something other than their relationship, and it was nice to watch. Not the I-need-to-chuck-my-tv-away kind of thing I felt every damn time I saw them in the past three episodes.

And did anyone else understand why Kurt was said to be 'pursuing' Sam? I actually thought that he was being far more toned down than he had with Finn, and his enthusiasm wasn't so much that he thought the dude was gay, but more a part of his personality. He's a bit forward most of the time.

"Lucky". Dianna is singing. Need I say more?

Now for the actual questions:

Any ideas for how Janice could argue her case? Other than the obvious, "I'm her guardian."

Was Shelby's rudeness over the top?

Was the Shelby/Rachel interaction awkward? I don't think it's one of my best.

And lastly, one thing that I can't understand is why Rachel and Finn's duet was offensive. Forgive me for being an idiot, but I'd really like it if someone could explain the entire thing. I get it has something to do with a priest or someone, but that's it.


	10. Chapter 10 Million Holes In Heaven

**Title:** Anthem Of The Angels

**Chapter: **Million Holes In Heaven

**Pairing: **Quinn/Rachel

**Rating: **M. Has a death theme, but no character death. Also, femslash.

**Spoilers: **Takes place after EP22 'Journey'. May contain spoilers.

**Timeline: **Continuation. Spans over a week.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee, the songs, or even the characters.

**Author's Note:**Un-beta-ed so feel free to point out errors. Happy Reading and please R&R. Reviews are my lifeline. Read A/N at end. Story Title is the name of a song by Breaking Benjamin. Chapter title is from Amy Cook.

* * *

_"Yeah, but you still have a choice. If you don't want to go with them, you don't have to. You could maybe stay here?"_

_"With you?"_

_"With me, yes."_

_"I- Don't take this the wrong way, because I do want to, but I really don't think I can. Grandma won't agree."_

* * *

Rachel wasn't very sure of what was happening in her life. Not that she didn't know, because really, it was all rather hard to pass over. It's just that she didn't seem to be dealing with it the way she should have. Or that's what she though anyways.

Because this was Rachel Berry and for her a lack of reaction was the most unnerving thing possible. Why was it that she, the person who was so very intensely emotional about even the smallest things, wasn't in hysterics for weeks after her parents had passed away? All of New Directions watching her tentatively all the time, puzzled by her normalcy. She knew that they were cautious around her, taking care not to say or do too much lest she lose control. Only Quinn and Shelby didn't give her those looks, one of the many reasons she had chosen to confide herself to the house, meeting only Kurt and going out when he physically dragged her.

But they were all justified in their puzzlement. Why couldn't she feel it enough? Why couldn't she for once behave normally? The silent tears and that heavy, ever present weight inside her chest didn't seem to be sufficient. There had to be something more to it... Could it be that she simply didn't care enough? That they'd grown so distant in recent years that their absence seemed an everyday affair?

No, that wasn't it. For all their differences, she'd loved them more than anything else in the world and this particular absence was different. This was an oppressive absence, in which she couldn't just call their hotel if she needed to know they were okay. This was the sort of absence that made her pause every time the doorbell rang, half expecting Archer to come bounding up the stairs, telling her it was time to go home. And then it would make her heart clench when she would snap out of her reverie, having to remind herself that it wouldn't happen.

If Rachel had maybe thought that she couldn't be expected to stick to her normal behavior at this time, she would have understood. Her intensity, her zeal and her passion were all fueled less by a desire to succeed and more by a desire to succeed for Archer and James. To show them that they'd done it; they'd gotten past all of that bullshit that people threw their way and that they were the ones who were responsible for her being in the spotlight. The want to stop people pointing fingers at them and bringing them down was what had propelled her and helped her ignore all the criticism that came her way.

Now... she didn't have the heart for it now. What good would her theatrics do now? Who would smile at her tantrums after coming home from a crap day courtesy a bigoted boss? There wasn't any point in it. Her tears would do nothing at all except have people fussing about her, forgetting that the real issue was that her parents weren't there.

She felt the grief, the loss and the confusion and the loss more acutely and more subtly that anyone would have thought possible, but she just couldn't express it. Not when these emotions were so fresh and raw and... and too personal to show to people who she was barely getting to know.

And now that there was some semblance of normalcy, if not happiness, creeping back into her life, there was another problem. Now that she was able to move around this house without feeling like a thief, now that she knew where everything was kept and what switch was for which high-tech gadget, she was being told that she might have to learn it all again somewhere else.

Well, that hadn't been what Shelby had said, but she wasn't stupid. She knew that if her grandmother wanted to take her away, then she wouldn't have too much trouble doing so. Shelby was nothing to her in the eyes of the law, and her grandmother wasn't in a position where she couldn't provide for Rachel. Perhaps not the way Shelby could, but still, finances wouldn't go against her.

Living with her grandparents was something Rachel did not want. Something she really, really did not want. Ever since she was little, all they'd done was express their disgust over her parents 'unnatural' ways. Her grandfather was a silent figure for the most part, but her grandmother was very vocal about her dislike of James. Every time they came over, they'd criticize everything in sight, including the way Archer was treated. She'd heard Janice trying numerous times to poison Archer against his partner and to somehow break their family apart, but it had never worked. And to now go and live with that woman...

* * *

"Can you pass the ketchup, please?" said Tina, smiling at Quinn. This was the first thing that anyone except for Puck and Finn had said to her, and it made her feel a little less uncomfortable. It wasn't conversation, exactly, but at least she wasn't staring blankly at her plate now.

She had been sitting, along with Tina, Mike, Santana, Puck and Finn at Breadsticks for about half an hour now, cursing herself for agreeing to come about five minutes after arriving. Without Brittany to control her, Santana had proceeded to alternately ignore and insult Quinn, not bothering about the looks Puck was throwing her way. And although Finn was trying, he wasn't really one for conversation. As a result, even the other occupants of the table remained silent, not wanting to direct Santana's anger towards themselves.

Quinn knew that it was justified, the way the other girl was behaving. She had done a lot of things which had directly or indirectly hurt Santana, and she did deserve most of what was coming her way. But she wished that Santana had chosen some other time. It was weird to be sitting at the most quite table and have everyone staring at her as Santana made random,audible comments about her baby flab and breast milk. Some of the guys at the other tables were sniggering before Puck went up to them for a little chat, and one of the elderly couples looked horrified.

It would have been funny, had it been anyone but herself. Seeing as it was her, however, it was mortifying. The fact that her face was very, very red wasn't lost on anybody, least of all Santana. She didn't really want to hurt Quinn, but humiliating her was a bit high priority. And what better place than here, where they were surrounded by total strangers whom Quinn would never have any control over.

Again, this wasn't to hurt her, or she would have called her parents or something. This was just to teach her that she couldn't just go around fucking with people's lives and then play the victim. It was like she was just letting things happen to her and then waiting for other people to fix her mess.

The baby, for one. Then the lying. And then giving the kid to Berry's mom. She shouldn't have been bothered about that, but with what had been happening lately, she felt bad for Rachel. Just a little. Plus, Quinn would be getting back on the squad when school started and just pushing past Santana again. Like nothing ever happened.

Santana knew that she was being a bit too harsh, and that she could probably have just sneered at Quinn for the next year instead of taking out her anger here, but she preferred this. It was more... her. Just get it all out and over with, unlike Quinn who, until recently, was very big on holding grudges. Santana didn't like operating that way, so she was venting now, when Brittany couldn't stop her, and she'd forget about it when they got back to school. Just this one time to kick the crap out of Quinn, and then that was it.

Although that really wasn't much comfort for the girl who was pushing fries around her plate, trying to pretend that she was not the one Santana was talking about. She wondered if anyone she knew would be here, but reasoned that the type of people her parent's knew didn't frequent Breadsticks. Hopefully...

Why didn't anyone just say something? This wasn't like it had been before, with all of them ignoring her on purpose. She knew that they had gotten over what she did eventually, and the real reason they weren't talking now was just because the initial silence had stretched too long and Santana was making them uncomfortable. If only they could change the topic. Just a moment's reprieve...

"I'm sorry for interrupting, but is Rachel with you?" Quinn had never imagined she would be grateful to hear that voice. She associated it with someone she'd dearly like to punch in the face. Hard.

"Not unless she's hiding under the table. Wanna check?"

"There's no need to be rude. I was merely hoping to catch her before I leave for L. A."

"Why prissy boy? You wanna give her some toast to go with the omelette?" Jesse had the grace to lower his eyes and look ashamed at that dig.

"I... I regret that. No, don't look that surprised. I was angry, and I let my ego get the better of me. But I really would like to meet her," he said, sounding sincere enough to almost convince them. But he was a damn good actor, as he'd proven before. And they could see members of Vocal Adrenaline scowling at them over his shoulder. They were probably more than a little responsible for his ego getting the better of him.

"I'm sure you would, but she's not really that keen on meeting anyone right now. Not surprising, right?"

"No, it's not. But... Forgive me if I'm being presumptuous, but have you actually tried meeting her? No offense, but none of you expressed any great feelings for her till I was around. Not very friendly, were you?"

Both Puck and Finn stood up at that, forcing Jesse to take a step backwards. Santana just shifted a little more into her seat, knowing that out of all of them, she was the one who'd made the least effort to be nice to Rachel, even now. The girl she'd been talking crap about a few moments ago suddenly seemed a lot nicer. Even though Quinn had been much worse to Rachel before, she was trying now and seemed to be one of the few people around whom the brunette was comfortable.

She, on the other hand, had just been a little too ashamed. The things she'd said about Berry and her two gay dads kept going through her head and she just couldn't go and face the girl now.

Jesse, meanwhile, had backed off and was now standing near his table, flanked by two of his friends.

"I already made it clear that I wasn't trying to offend you. It was an honest question."

"Sure it was. Back off, St. James."

"Yeah, Jesse. Stay away from her. We'll give her your condescendences."

"That's not even a word, Finn. And you wonder why she didn't want to be with you?"

"I thought I told you to back off, dude."

"Puck, leave him. Please, he's not even doing anything." Although he had provided a distraction, Quinn didn't want to be in a police station for the rest of the day.

"He's bein-"

"He's not worth it. Really."

"Whatever."

Puck came back to the table, a bit bugged at being denied a good fight. But even then, the mood lightened considerably. Santana wasn't in the mood to bug Quinn anymore, and she kept quite, calculating the number of breadsticks she could get into her purse. They moved on to other trivial topics, and even though it was just polite chit chat, it was a lot better than a few minutes ago.

Quinn wasn't stupid and she hadn't expected any of them to forgive her easily. Although it was difficult to believe, they had become rather a close knit group of oddballs and what she'd done with Finn and Puck had affected everyone. They felt betrayed in a way. She hadn't apologized because really, even if they were close and stuff, she hadn't technically done anything to them. They'd get over it. Eventually. Till then, she'd just force herself to sit through these sessions.

* * *

"How was it?" Quinn looked up to see Rachel hanging over the banister, staring curiously at Quinn.

"It was good. Lots of fun. We um.. We did some interesting stuff."

"At Breadsticks?"

"Yeah. With the... You know, with the breadsticks."

"Wonderful... But you really are a very bad liar Quinn. You should have guessed, considering I manage to catch you every time."

"That has nothing to do with me being a bad liar. It's you and that freaky psych thing you've got going on."

"True. But we'll discuss that later. How was your outing, really?" Since Kurt was still insisting on making tri-weekly visits to her, Rachel had managed to keep herself pretty updated, and she knew that New Directions weren't very happy with what Quinn had done. She suspected that it wasn't so much their affection towards the boys as it was the fact that their ego had been slighted at the blonde keeping such a huge secret from all of them. But whatever the reason, she didn't want them being unnecessarily harsh on the girl.

"It was... Okay, I guess. Kinda like I thought it'd be."

"I hope they weren't rude to you."

"Rude? Nah, they weren't rude."

"So Santana was a perfect angel, right?" said Rachel , knowing that it couldn't have been all that smooth.

"Santana was Santana. What more can I say?"

"But Noah said she was fine."

"She is fine. I got that when she started with the swearing."

"No. I mean... He... Well, anyways, how was the food?"

"You mean what, Rachel?

I was just speaking to Noah the other day, and he assured me that he would keep Santana in check?"

"Keep Santana in check'? Puck? He's never been able to do it yet. But um... You spoke to him for me?"

"Not for you, exactly. We were talking and you happened to come up."

"So you spoke about me, then?" Quinn kept her expression neutral, and the other girl was unable to understand the tone of the question. She wondered if Quinn thought they were gossiping about her or something.

"I... I suppose you could say so. I hope you don't mind, I really wasn-"

"Why the hell would I mind?" Quinn had come up the stairs now, and they were standing on the first floor, Rachel looking down at her fingers which were tapping steadily on the banister. Quinn noticed that the brunette had a habit of doing that when she was nervous.

"I don't know. You're the one asking all these questions, so I guessed something might be wrong."

"Nope. Nothing wrong. It's just... I know we've had this conversation before, but I... Okay, I get that you're a way better person than me, so you're kinda tolerating me and forgetting what I've done. But why are you actively being nice to me?"

"Firstly, you've just proved that you never listen to a word I say. It's not that I'm a better person than you, although there is something to be said for that too. I simply do not wish to foster a corrosive, vile environment around me, therefore I have been willing to overlook what you did. Not the same as forgetting it. And secondly, you're actually a fairly decent person to be around, Quinn, and I see no reason for you to be persecuted by people who're doing it for all the wrong reasons."

"So you wouldn't mind me being 'persecuted' by people who're doing it for the right reasons?"

"To a certain extent, no. I would obviously not want you to be cornered and tortured, but the fact remains that there were certain things you did that you shouldn't have done. I would probably have reacted in a worse way had I been in your situation, so I'm really not trying to judge you, but you hurt both Finn and Noah and even their families to some extent. And if they wish to express that hurt, I feel they would be justified."

"Then why were you shouting at Finn for saying I'm a- for saying those things about me?" She remembered the time a few days ago when she'd heard Rachel shouting at Finn over the phone. Apparently, he'd called her something close to a slut, and Rachel hadn't appreciated it.

"You heard?"

"Oh yeah. It was pretty hard not to. So, why'd you do it? I mean, he's one of those justified reactions, right?"

"Justified reaction, yes. But justified whining and cribbing, no. He never spoke to you about it, but all he'd do with me was talk about how terrible life was, and how he felt betrayed and on and on. He raised questions about your character on many occasions, and it got a little to irritating eventually. I do not believe in holding lifelong grudges. He should have spoken to you, accepted the apology and moved on."

"But he didn't?" Quinn was a little confused. She knew that Finn would crib, that was expected. But the way he'd spoked to her, the fact that he had been the one to invite her into the group again and give her the assurance that they were all okay with her. Didn't it mean that he was over it, deep down?

"Not completely. Don't worry, it's not like you've crushed his spirit or something. I just... Finn is not as giving or as compassionate as I believed. So although he is trying, I don't think his ego's going to be over it for quite some time."

"Oh... I thought- I thought he might have let go." Rachel could hear the disappointment in the other girl's voice, and she felt pity despite herself. She knew what it felt like to be in Quinn's position; to want someone in your corner. Despite the brave face the blonde was putting on, she knew that having no friends at all bothered her. Well, she knew that she couldn't force other people to be friends with Quinn, but maybe she could do it herself. If the other girl would accept her friendship.

"Like I said, he will. I suggest you not bother about that too much... Would you like to hang out with me sometime?"

"You?" Quinn cocked an eyebrow.

"Um, yes. You don't have to, of-"

"I'd love to."

* * *

"Interesting... Hmm... Yeah, that wouldn't be a problem... Very interesting."

"Excuse me, but could you quit the mumbling and tell me something already?" said Shelby, her patience running out. She'd been sitting with Rachel in the office of Lightman, Craig & Grayson for the past half an hour, and the group of lawyers in front of her, brilliant though they may be, hadn't really helped much so far. The 'best damn team' in the office had been sitting in front of her with the case file in hand, shrugging and making unintelligible comments and frankly, it was pissing her off.

"My apologies, Ms. Corcoran. Our methods can be somewhat tiresome. If you could just hold on for a few more moments. Just a little nag I wish to get rid of." And the petite woman in front of Shelby turned back to her colleagues, the whispering resuming. Rachel, who had thus far kept perfectly quiet, placed her hand over Shelby's and gave it a quick squeeze, knowing the older woman would most probably combust soon.

"Yes, I think we've got it all in order. Okay, Ms. Corcoran-"

"It's Shelby."

"Shelby, then," said the woman, who was apparently the speaker for the group," we believe that this case had certain complications that are more superficial nonsense than anything."

"Such as?"

"Such as the matter of Archer and James' will. It was made over two years ago, and they gave the grandparents the guardianship because there seemed to be no other option, so any judge will be willing to overlook it. And also the whole 'welfare' thing. Your financial assets are all well managed and the two investments accounts you possess have given good returns over the years. Considering that you still plan on staying on in a lower position-"

"Not lower, just different. It'll give me more time for the kids." Although it was true that her new position as a vocal coach and music consultant was a lot less significant than the micro-managing one she'd held earlier, Shelby didn't like it being called 'lower'.

"Which is excellent. It's nice to a parent who's actually bothered," said the lady, flashing Shelby a quick smile before glancing back at the notes. "Like I was saying, your financial position is probably as good as, and maybe even better than theirs."

"Probably?"

"Yes. You see, their lawyers still haven't gotten back to me with any details." She shrugged apologetically,, knowing that her client would probably blame her for the those idiots tactics. This was a game lawyers often played when they were unsure of their stance; withholding information just to make life a little difficult for their opponents. But clients mostly saw it as incompetence on their part.

"What the hell! It's been over a week." Yup.

"I know, but there's nothing we can do if they don't want to co-operate. It shouldn't be a problem though. It's not like you have any problems in that area, so their status doesn't matter. It's about being able to fulfill all basic requirements for the children, and you can do that just fine."

"But I don't get it. If you don't know what they have, how're you telling me how I'll do if we go to court."

"I don't need to know what they have. Like I said, it's about you being able to provide for Rachel, both emotionally and financially. That's something which I can understand from you and her, and then the extras don't matter. Judges don't send kids to places they don't want to be, Ms. Corcoran. So if Rachel wants to stay here, that will count for a lot. You do, right Rachel?" She looked over at the girl sitting next to Shelby, who hadn't said anything so far.

"Yes, I do Ms..."

"Grayson. But you can call me Rebecca."

"Okay. I want to stay with Shelby."

"Why? No offense," she said, seeing the murderous look on the other woman's face, but pushed ahead," but I need to know why. We can't have the opposition asking questions we haven't prepared you for."

"My grandparents didn't respect my parent's and they don't respect me. It's not the type of place I'd wish to stay in."

"But if they don't like you, why are they pushing for custody?"asked Rebecca, even though she knew the answer. It was a power play between this child's grandparents and Shelby. At least for them it was. She hated these sort of cases: where people used a child to manipulate and assert dominance over each other without actually bothering about what was best for the kid. She hoped that maybe her initial opinion had been accurate and that Shelby wasn't one of those people.

"I... I don't know."

"I do," said Shelby. "They want to take her with them and brainwash her. Janice, her grandmother, is someone I'd politely call a bigot."

"I see. That's even better then. We can practically tear apart her argument of abiding by her son's wish if we can just show that she's homophobic."

"That won't be difficult, trust me."

"Uh huh... But there are some things which will be problematic, one of which is," she said, hurrying on before Shelby could interrupt again," the fact that the two of you haven't known each other for very long. And according to the contract you signed Shelby, you were more than willing to never approach Rachel again."

"That was years ago! For Gods sake, you can't hold that against me. The circumstances were different."

"True, but it's still a fa-"

"You have got to be kidding me. I signed those papers to protect their rights. It's still standard procedure."

"Ms. Corcoran-"

"I told you, it's Shelby," she said, running a hand through her hair. This was getting to her, but these people weren't the enemies and shouting at them wouldn't do any good. "I'm sorry, I just..."

"You're just tired? Yeah, I know. But just think of it this way - better to get it done and over with now than have this crap brought up in front of a bunch of strangers. Okay?" She waited until Shelby had nodded before continuing.

"Right then... They will ask you these things. Why you volunteered as a surrogate? Whether you hoped for something more than just the money? Wat your motives are for coming into Rachel's life now and such things. I've actually noted most of them down here. I'll have my secretary," she slid a paper covered in cramped notes to the man sitting next to her,"to get you a copy. Go over them when you get home. Make notes of what you're going to say and we can review that next time." She nodded and the man went out, probably to carry out her instructions. The little scene reminded Shelby of the way she used to work with her juniors.

"Thank you."

"Not a problem. And now the other snag, which isn't really all that little, is your other daughter. She is someone who, I'm sorry to say, Mrs. Berry can use to weaken your case significantly."

"How?"

"I think you know how. Dividing time and attention. Mixed priorities. You're a single parent and suddenly have two children, both of whom have very different requirements from you. What do you do to meet both their needs?"

"Anything I have to."

"Which would be what? It's a very, very difficult situation to be in no matter what you do, and your readiness and capability to take care of both Beth and Rachel will be questioned. Multiple times. You need to be prepared to answer that because it is a difficult question, and one which could potentially tip the scales in Janice's favor."

"But that's not fair," said Rahel, glancing at Shelby. "I've been staying with her since... since the accident and Shelby's been great with both of us. I mean, she- she's there. Bothering about what I've eaten and what I'm doing and things like that. And she's there with Beth too. I- I trust Shelby to give me better attention than my grandparents." Shelby, who had been looking at her hands, snapped her head up to stare at Rachel. S

he couldn't explain how much that statement had meant to her. Granted, Rachel had said she trusted her comparatively, but even that was so much considering everything that had happened. She'd known that there was no doubt Rachel would stay with her, but it had been a case of 'I hate my grandparents and I hate you, but I hate you less'. Or that's how it had felt for her. And now she knew that it wasn't all that bad.

"That's great. The fact that you have been living with her and want to continue that way will help, but Shelby's answer will make a big difference as well. The jury will basically want to see how prepared you are for a long term commitment to Rachel. You need to convince them that you're not going to disappear again, because I presume Mrs. Berry knows about the things that happened with you and Rachel before her parent's accident, and she will try very, very hard to use that against you."

"Duh. And she'll probably also tell them how I'm a vile, abusive piece of crap who can't keep her temper in check."

"Yes she will. Which is why we're going to try to get in touch with her and settle this out of court. Hopefully, she'll take your monetary compensation and back off."

"Monetary compensation? You're offering her money?" Rachel asked Shelby. This was the first she'd heard of it.

"Honey, what else do you think I can use? It's the only thing I have to give them."

"Mom, no. I- No. You can't do that."

"Yes I can. You're not going with that woman, Rachel, and I'd prefer it if neither of us had to be dragged through court to make that happen. Don't worry about it."

"But it's you-"

"It's not that much. Trust me. You're way, way more than worth it."

"I will not-"

"Let me? I think you will. And even if you don't, I'll still do it. She might take it and leave us alone, Rachel."

"And if she doesn't?"

"Then we take her to court, make her waste a lot of time, and then make her lose, right?" Shelby turned to her lawyers.

"Right. Might waste your time as well, so we're trying really hard to avoid that. But still, go over everything I give you, because from the way you've described Mrs. Berry, I highly doubt that she'll want to settle out of court."

"Of course."

"Well then, I think that's as far as we're getting today. I'll give you a call as soon as we get any feelers from her side."

"Thank you."

All of them stood and Rebecca escorted Shelby and Rachel out, asking them to just do what she said. She knew they'd probably be fine, if Ms. Corcoran managed to keep that rather feisty temper of hers in check. This case had struck a chord with her, maybe because she'd faced something similar herself a few years back. It hadn't been nearly as simple, and she really hoped that this would be another case she won.

* * *

Well? I want feedback. Feedback. Feedback. Because honestly, this chapter was really, really uninspired, and the only reason it got done was because I kept reading the reviews. So thank you, to all the people who have reviewed, and given me crazy good ideas. It's amazing the type of things you can come up with while reading reviewers ideas.

It's chapter ten. I'm all grown up now. Double digits again. So another big, huge, enormous thank you to every person who's added a story alert/author alert/ favorite story or reviewed. Because I get all jumpy and excited whenever I see one in my inbox. And thank you to all the silent readers as well, because I also get jumpy and excited when I see story stats. Thanks to all of you for making me feel a little more confident and a little less crazy:)

**Funny Girl:** Thank you:) Ad I'm glad to see you get the vibes too. They're melting my damn T. V screen every time he comes on. He's worse than Quinn when it comes to being a pressed lemon. I guess that's why they like each other:)

**meggy938: **Thank you, for the review and the info:) Love the scene of Shelby ripping his head off, right?


	11. Chapter 11 Let Me Out

**Title:** Anthem Of The Angels

**Chapter: **Let Me Out

**Pairing: **Quinn/Rachel

**Rating: **M. Has a death theme, but no character death. Also, femslash.

**Spoilers: **Takes place after EP22 'Journey'. May contain spoilers.

**Timeline: **Continuation. Spans over a week.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee, the songs, or even the characters.

**Author's Note:**Un-beta-ed so feel free to point out errors. Happy Reading and please R&R. Reviews are my lifeline. Read A/N at end. Story Title is the name of a song by Breaking Benjamin. Chapter title is from Ben's Brother.

* * *

_Living with her grandparents was something Rachel did not want. Something she really, really did not want. Ever since she was little, all they'd done was express their disgust over her parents 'unnatural' ways. Her grandfather was a silent figure for the most part, but her grandmother was very vocal about her dislike of James. Every time they came over, they'd criticize everything in sight, including the way Archer was treated. She'd heard Janice trying numerous times to poison Archer against his partner and to somehow break their family apart, but it had never worked. And to now go and live with that woman..._

* * *

_Well, she knew that she couldn't force other people to be friends with Quinn, but maybe she could do it herself. If the other girl would accept her friendship._

_"Like I said, he will. I suggest you not bother about that too much... Would you like to hang out with me sometime?"_

_"You?" Quinn cocked an eyebrow._

_"Um, yes. You don't have to, of-"_

_"I'd love to."_

* * *

_All of them stood and Rebecca escorted Shelby and Rachel out, asking them to just do what she said. She knew they'd probably be fine, if Ms. Corcoran managed to keep that rather feisty temper of hers in check. This case had struck a chord with her, maybe because she'd faced something similar herself a few years back. It hadn't been nearly as simple, and she really hoped that this would be another case she won._

* * *

"You haven't been in a long term relationship for some time. Is it because of failure to commit, commitment phobia or the fact that you find it difficult to remain faithful to one person?" What the fuck? Was this shit even for real or were her own lawyers trying to get a rise out of her? Shelby briefly contemplated calling Ms. Rebecca Grayson and making her go deaf, but she tossed the phone away after a moment, realizing that it was fultile.

She'd already called Rebecca four times, because she felt that over ninety percent of the questions Rebecca had given her were simply meant to make her want to throw something at a wall. Each time, she'd gotten the same answer in different, decreasingly polite tones. And yes, she understood the fact that the Bitch's lawyers would ask even worse questions just so that she could kill someone and be done in for manslaughter, but that knowledge wasn't comforting when she contemplated the answer to why she wasn't in touch with her family.

Anyways, back to the damn questionnaire... She ticked off a few of the more straightforward questions, before coming to another one that made her want to just hire a hit-man and just pass over all this nonsense. It would be so much easier, not to mention satisfying, to have someone put a gun through that woman's head. A knock on the door snapped her out of her more... sadistic thoughts.

"Come in," she said with a slight sigh, putting the file aside. She watched as Rachel came in, clutching a black folder and looking a bit confused. The girl hesitated a bit when she saw Beth sleeping on the bed, but Shelby waved her in.

"I'm not disturbing, am I?"

"Judging by the drool, no, I don't think you are. What's up, honey?" asked Shelby, motioning for Rachel to sit.

"Um... Well, did you go over the questions the lawyers gave us?" said Rachel, waiting for Shelby to nod before continuing,"and you didn't think that any of them were a bit..."

"Weird?"

"Yeah, and a bit irrelevant. I mean, what does my MySpace schedule have to do with anything?"

"Honestly?... I have no idea. At all. I'm getting the oddest questions as well. I called them up, and apparently it's just to prepare us for what we might actually be asked. Nonsensical stuff which just tests your patience."

"Why?"

"Why do you think?... If we have to appear in front of a judge and they ask us questions like that, I'm pretty sure I'd end up looking like a psycho nut, which is exactly what they want."

"B-But you can control your temper, right?"

"Sure I can. Sort of."

"Mom! This is important. I don't want to live wit-"

"You won't. I've told you, Rachel, you're not going with that woman. End of story."

"No it's not. My grandmother is a persistent woman. You don't know her, okay? She'll try to do anything to take me away."

"Rachel, honey... Calm down. She's not the only persistent woman on earth, right? Between the two of us, she won't know what hit her. I promise."

"But-"

"No buts. Trust me one this one, okay? No one's going to take you anywhere you don't want to go. You have my word on that one," said Shelby, reading the very real fear in Rachel's eyes. She couldn't even imagine the place Rachel was in right now, and hated the Bitch just a little more for putting her daughter through this. What sort of person did something like this just weeks after their child's death? She wondered if that woman even had a heart.

"I- I think that's your phone."

"Huh?"

"Your phone," said Rachel, pointing to the flashing device on the couch.

"Oh. Right." She picked it up to see that her lawyers were calling her. "Hello... Yeah... Yeah, she had as well... Right now?... They're over there?... Sure. We'll leave right now. Just give us half an hour and we'll be there." Shelby had gotten up as she was speaking, and she looked at Rachel as she slid her phone into her back pocket.

"Your grandmother and her lawyers turned up at Ms. Grayson's office. They want to talk."

"Now?"

"Apparently. I think they were trying to take us by surprise or something. Childish tactics. You ready, honey?"

"I was- never mind."

"You were what?"

"Well, I had made some plans with Quinn. But this is more important."

"I'm sorry. I wish I could just tell them to shove their attitude up their a-. Anyways, I'm sorry, but maybe you could reschedule."

"Will do."

"Why don't you go and give her a heads up? I'll just call the babysitter and meet you downstairs, yeah?"

"Good idea. Should we take our files? I wrote down a lot."

"Of course. Thanks for the reminder,"said Shelby, dialing Marie's number as Rachel went out.

In the next few minutes, she had pleaded and arranged for her babysitter to drop in at a moment's notice. She knew that Quinn had agreed to stay with her just to help out with Beth, but she wasn't going to just leave Beth with her like that. Marie had been recommended to her by someone from Carmel, and the girl seemed to be very good at what she did.

She was already downstairs and getting her shoes when Rachel rushed down, almost tripping in her haste.

"Ready?"

"Just a sec,"said Shelby, finally managing to slip her foot into that irritating sneaker. "Yeah. Let's go."

* * *

They walked down the corridor quickly, rounding a corner just in time to see a very harried-looking Rebecca usher Janice into a room. She stopped outside as she caught sight of them, shutting the door behind Janice.

"How long has she been here?"

"Long enough. I must tell you, this is highly unusual behavior. Just barging into my office and practically demanding that I call you here. I think they meant to wrong foot us, which in turn makes me think that they don't have anything solid to go on, the way they're resorting to such nonsense."

"Of course they don't. Freakin' useless-"

"Ms. Corcoran, please. I want you to calm down before you go inside. The only reason Mrs. Berry is doing this is to irritate you. I've got to tell you, the lady is rather... sharp, for lack of a better word. She just wants you to trip up and do something stupid. So please, please refrain from losing your temper. Or saying anything at all, for that matter. I can handle it."

"Fine then, I'll let you handle it. Shall we," said Shelby, holding the door open and waving them in.

They walked into a large conference room, which reeked of elegance. Janice and her husband were sitting on one end of the table, flanked on either side by men whom Shelby assumed were their legal representatives. A few seats away from them sat two men Shelby vaguely recognized from their last time here. Janice glared at them and waited for Rebecca to guide them to their seats before speaking.

"Took your time getting here, didn't you?"

"If you'd done the polite thing and given us a heads up, I think we'd have made it on time."

"Make it all-"

"Mrs. Berry, I'm sure that we've wasted enough time as it is. Why don't we get straight to work?"

"Brilliant idea. I'm Matt Stipp, and this is George, Brad, and Dylan. We're representing Mr. and Mrs. Berry," said the man right next to Janice. He looked to be a placid sort of man, who wasn't too interested in the verbal sparring Janice wanted to do. After getting the pleasantries out of the way, Rebecca pointed out that they had been dilly-dallying for a little too long.

"Maybe you could finally tel us what this meeting is all about?"

"Of course. Well, as I'm sure you know, this entire custody thing could become a rather messy sort of affair if we drag it all the way to court."

"Could it?" said Rebecca. "I'm actually pretty sure that my client's case is stronger than yours, unless there are things you've not bothered to tell us."

"Well... You think you've got us there, haven't you? Ms. Grayson, our case is no weaker than yours, and honestly, taking this to court would take a lot of my clients time and effort. Wouldn't it be better for both parties to settle this here?"

"Depends on what the settlement is, doesn't it? What exactly are you asking my client to do in order to gain full custody of her daughter?"

"Oh, nothing much. Once you here our proposal, I'm sure you'll find it reasonable."

"Mr. Stipp, the only way I can say anything about your proposal is if you stop beating about the bush and tell me what it is."

"Okay then. My client is aware of the fact that her granddaughter wishes to stay with her biological mother, but Mrs. Berry feels it's a biased decision. The only place Rachel has lived, other than her own house, has been Ms. Corcoran's residence. It's only natural, therefore, that Ms. Corcoran's house is the only one she can think of staying at," said Matthew slowly, letting them all digest his words. Shelby was staring to understand where this was going and it was staring to piss her off, but she was determined not to lose her cool that fast.

"If she were, however, to be made aware of other options, we feel that she could make an informed choice, without any... influence," glancing at Shelby as he said the word, Matthew made it clear just what sort of an influence they were talking about.

"Mr. Stipp, if I may remind you, this is a child's future we are talking about, not a holiday package."

"All the more reason to be careful, isn't it? All we're asking, Ms. Grayson, is for Rachel to take the time to get reacquainted with her grandparents. I've been made to understand that they haven't been meeting in very pleasant circumstances recently, and that might be why she's choosing Ms. Corcoran."

"And how would you propose this re-acquaintance take place?"

"My clients feel that the best way would be for Rachel to live with them for a short time, say a week or two." Shelby, who had been looking down at her finer till now snapped her head up at his words.

"What the hell did you just say?"

"I said, Ms. Corcoran, that Rachel should explore her options. Who knows, maybe-" He was interrupted by Shelby standing up and banging her fist rather forcefully on the hardwood table.

"NO! No freakin' way, you dimwitted, arrogant bas-"

"Shelby, please. Calm down."

"I will not calm down. How dare you? How dare you come here, you hag, and think that I'll let you take my daughter just because you want to?"

"Looks like your client is rather out of control, Ms. Grayson," said Matthew, smirking for a moment before Shelby got right in his face.

"One word out of your mouth and I'll show you what out of control really means. Now I suggest you get your client's ass off the chair and inform her that there is no way in hell we're not going to court. I have plenty of money, Ms. Stipp, and I have no issues spending it on my children. So get the fuck out of here before I do something she'll really end up regretting."

Janice had been uncharacteristically quite throughout this exchange, and as Rachel knew, that never bode well. Her grandmother being loud wasn't good for the ears, but her grandmother being quite... that wasn't good for long term health.

"Well, Shelby, if that's the way you want it, then I'll just have to abide by your wishes, won't I," said Janice, getting up from her chair with visible effort. She motioned to her husband and lawyers, starting to move towards the door."I will tell you, however, that going to court is going to bring up some... Well, let's call them bad memories, for you."

"Oh, I'm shaking. God, can you at least_ try_ to behave like a grownup?" asked Shelby, but by then, Janice had left the room, followed by her lawyers. Her husband, however, lingered for a moment to give Rachel an apologetic sort of shrug before following his wife.

* * *

"Who the hell does that woman think she is?" said Shelby, kicking off her shoes. "Pretentious, stuck up-"

"Mom, it's okay. Forget it," said Rachel, smirking slightly at Shelby's tirade, which had been going on from the moment they'd left the lawyers office. She'd stopped in the car, probably because she feared that they would crash if she continued, but once they'd parked, she'd started again. Rachel found the whole thing faintly amusing because in all honesty, she knew that her grandmother probably deserved all those names.

"Forget what, exactly? The part where she said she wanted to imprison you, or where her lawyer said that I wasn't a fit parent?"

"Oh, come on. It wasn't that bad."

"Sure it wasn't. You were just sitting there laughing, weren't you?"

"Mom, seriously. It wasn't all that bad. For now. But... Well, did you realize the fact that Grandma didn't say anything at all?"

"Now that you mention it, yeah. It's weird, y'know? Her staying silent is just odd."

"Precisely. I wonder... What if she has something up her sleeve? I mean, she'd chew your brains otherwise, right?"

"Not necessarily. You heard what Rebecca said, sweetie. There's nothing that she can possibly have on us. Nothing substantial, that is."

"I know. It doesn't make any sense, but I just have a bad feeling about her. It's probably nothing, but still..."

"If it makes you feel better, I can ask Rebecca to go through things with us again."

"No, forget it. You're right, she's just trying to throw us off our game."

"How?" said Quinn, peering down at the two of them from the stairs. "What's your dear, saintly grandmother done now?"

"How'd you know we were talking about her?" asked Shelby as Marie came down the stairs.

"From your rather colorful description, who else could it be? So what, is she asking you to pay for her food or something now?"

"If only. No, she was sort of hoping that I'd go quietly with her like a good little girl," said Rachel, coming up to Quinn and leaving Shelby to deal with the babysitter."Come on, I'll explain inside. Mom might lose it again if she's reminded."

She took Quinn's hand and dragged her up, not waiting for Shelby's inevitable reply. Once they were safely inside her room, she flopped down on the bed, feeling more than a little exhausted.

"My grandmother really is a piece of work. You know, she actually went right ahead and told us that she wanted me to go and live with her for some time."

"She said that? Just like that? I think she's living in some alternate universe or something."

"Tell me about it. That was one of the most unproductive ways to spend my time. Ever. I really do wish I didn't have to cancel our plans to hang out today. I believe it would have been much better to just stay at home. I mean, I knew it was going to come down to this anyways."

"You distrust her that much?"

"It's not about distrust. She is my grandmother, and she had been coming to my house twice a year every year for as far as I can remember. I can't help but understanding how her brain works."

"I thought it was all because of your psychic powers."

"Well, you obviously can't ignore that possibility," said Rachel, before she realized that Quinn was making fun of her. "Oh, you can smirk. But my powers are very real, and one day you'll see that."

"Uh huh. So what happened after she made that awesome announcement."

"That's the thing - she didn't make the announcement. She was silent practically the entire time. Her lawyer was doing all the talking. Typical crap, y'know? But when he finally came out and said that they wanted me to live with them, you should just have seen Mom's face. I was a bit preoccupied, but when she almost ripped the guy's throat out, I got a good look."

"What I would have given to be a fly on the wall."

"Uh huh. Although it was a bit frightening to begin with because I honestly thought Shelby might attack him, but after it became evident that she wouldn't go that far, I rather enjoyed watching her cut him to size."

"Weren't you... Um, weren't you afraid? Y-you don't have to answer that. I just..."

"It's fine. To be honest - yes, I was. When I understood what my grandmother wanted, I was petrified at the thought of having to go and stay with her, even if it was for a brief period of time. But I didn't have much time to ponder on that before Shelby spoke up, and... Well, it was reassuring. I'm not used to seeing my grandmother being openly contradicted like that."

"I can imagine. I think she's one of those people who's used to having her way."

"Like your father?" asked Rachel, glancing briefly at the blonde before looking away, giving her the choice to not answer.

"Yeah. Like my dad."

"Have you ... thought about what you're going to do?"

"What do you mean?" asked Quinn, and Rachel could hear the defensiveness in her voice.

"Quinn, I don't mean anything. I was just wondering if you'd thought about speaking to him or something along those lines."

"I... What do we have to say to each other?"

"A lot, by the looks of it. I'm not claiming to be any sort of expert on this particular topic, but the two of you seem to have a communication problem. Perhaps the issue is not that he doesn't like your choices, it's that he doesn't understand them. And the same thing goes for you. If you just tried to talk-"

"You think I haven't? I tried to, the day I told them I was pregnant, but he responded by kicking me out of the house. Real productive, wasn't it?"

"Your father is a rigid person, Quinn. He was angry, and his anger clouded his judgement. And even the other day, he was angry. His entire life was collapsing. You can't expect a person in his position to be acting reasonably."

"Why the hell are you defending my dad? Do you even know the sort of crap he used to say about your family every single day?"

"Him and about a million other people. I'm not defending what your father has been doing, but the thing is, the two of you holding a grudge against each other isn't going to do anyone any good. And he's probably not going to make the first move," said Rachel, getting up from where she had been laying, her agitation getting the better of her.

"Oh, so I should? Because I'm the responsible adult, right?"

"No, because you're behaving like you're as old as Beth, and he's behaving as if he's not even been born yet. Quinn, it's just... He's there, y'know? He's right there, and so is your mom. And you're just..." Rachel trailed off, not able to complete her sentence. What was she supposed to say anyways - that she wanted Quinn to have to chance that she didn't?

"Rachel? You okay?" asked Quinn, moving towards the brunette. She chided herself for not understanding where this conversation had been going earlier. Rachel had been doing so, so well these past few days, despite her grandmother, and she didn't want to see that sadness on the other girl's face again.

"Hm?... I'm fine... I'm sorry, I was being far too forceful. It's your decision in the end."

"No, no. You're right... I don't want to never have to speak to him again. But it's just... Making the first move sort of freaks me out. He just scares the shit out of me."

"Why? Quinn, no offense, but there's nothing for you to lose. You've gone through the worse things you could as far as he's concerned. It can just get better now."

"Sure. My dad has this way of making you feel like dirt even when you're not doing anything wrong. That's how he operates. That's how he..."

"How he what?"

"How he got me to do so many of the things I know are wrong, but he thought were right. I didn't want to, you know that? The first time I tripped up that guy in the corridor... That wasn't me. But I did it because I knew my sister was watching, and I knew she'd tell him if I didn't," said Quinn, giving Rachel a guilty smile before looking away. She didn't even know why she was saying all this, but for some reason, she didn't want Rachel to think that she was some brat with a big ego.

It had always been her intention to eventually approach Russell after she gave Beth to Shelby, but after his performance that day, she was a little too petrified of going anywhere near him. She hadn't known her father to be a volatile,out-of-control man and that drunk outburst was too out of character for her to feel that she could go up to him.

"Didn't it bother you?" Rachel couldn't help but ask that. She was trying to understand the weird upbringing Quinn had had, but even with all her sympathy, she didn't understand what could prompt anyone to torture other people. It was one thing to fool around, but the sort of things she Cheerio's and the jocks did to the unpopular kids at school was far worse than that.

Rachel knew, because despite all her efforts and bravado, she could clearly remember every incident where she'd been thoroughly humiliated. All of those people staring and laughing at her still stung just as much as the fact that it was due to that bullying that people had been initially reluctant to become friends with her. The obnoxious, know-it-all nature wasn't even a factor. Who the hell would become friends with someone who was in the bad books of the bullies?

"Of course it did!... God, I sound like such a pathetic coward right now, don't I?"said Quinn. "At first, I'd thought that I'd just do some stuff till Kelly was in school and reporting to Dad, but... Well, it didn't quite work out like that, did it? I pushed down my conscience so hard that it probably got squashed flat."

"Probably," agreed Rachel, nodding very seriously before Quinn smacked the back of her head. "Ouch! What? I was simply backing you up."

"Sure you were. Ass."

"I was... But now that you've brought it up, there's something I wanted to ask you that's been bothering me for some time now."

"I did not bring this up, you did."

"Well, not intentionally. Anyways, that's not the point. I wanted to know whether you were going to revert back to being a total bitch once school started."

"I wasn't a total bitch to begin with."

"Um, yes you were. But then that's a conversation for another time. Tell me, Quinn, are you going to go back to treating all of us like insects after you regain your popularity?"

"Who says I'll regain it?" asked Quinn. "Just because I don't have a baby bump anymore doesn't mean that there's some red carpet being rolled out for me. Everyone still remembers, Rachel."

"Oh please, who're you trying to fool here? You're Quinn Fabray, for crying out loud! You and I both know that you'll have the entire school eating out of your hand in about ten minutes, so let's not even go there," said Rachel, looking expectantly at Quinn. Although she hadn't planned to bring this particular topic up today, she was glad it did come up. School was going to open soon, and she needed to know what the dynamics were going to be.

"I won't. I swear I won't go back to being that person... Not that I'm going to be hoisting flags for Glee or anything like that, but I will not be the bully again."

"How can you be sure? I mean, that's a very much appreciated sentiment, but it's a little difficult to believe."

"Why're you asking me if you're not going to believe what I say?"

"It's not as if I don't believe you. I don't think you're lying, I just think you might change your mind. You did compile the Glist."

"How the hell did you know about that?"

"I have my sources. We were all there for you, Quinn, and you still did that. So how will I know that you won't do worse things now?"

"I think you're going to have to trust me here. I know the Glist was wrong. I know that. It was just different then... I felt like I was being pushed into these corners and being made to do things I didn't want to do. It was my way of rebelling," said Quinn. "Not the right way, obviously, but still... And it's different now."

"In what way?"

"Isn't it obvious?... Okay, maybe not. I feel more in control now. Like everything that's going to happen to me now isn't because someone else feels a certain way about me or because I'm not qualified in any way to be a Cheerleader, say. It's going to happen the way I want it to happen, and my actions will influence that. I have the rest of my school life mapped out, and Glee happens to be a very prominent part of it."

"A very prominent good part?"

"A very prominent, very good part."

* * *

"Why do I think that we've taken one step forward and about four steps back?"

"Isn't it your job to figure that out?" asked Rachel, giving her therapist a sullen look. This was their third appointment and in all honesty, it was one she didn't want to attend.

"Oh no. No, my job is to get the answer to the front of your mind. It's there in your head, Rachel, not mine, and I'm just trying to show you where."

"Dr. Walsh, I really feel that this appointment won't be productive. Can't we possibly reschedule?"

"Of course we can. But the thing is, you just walked in a few moments ago. So why don't you tell me the reason you think this isn't working today. Not in the mood to talk to a crazy old bat?"

"I wouldn't put you in that category, Doctor. I just... There are so many things going on, and none of them can be resolved by talking. So I don't see what I'm doing here."

"If you know that they can't be sorted out by talking about it, then would you maybe be able to tell me how they could be sorted out?"

"I have no idea, because they are completely out of my control. My grandmother is trying to make my life miserable, and there's nothing that I can possibly do to stop her."

"You're stressed out. Talking about it generally helps."

"In abstract, yes. But in reality, it does nothing but waste time."

"Have you read Harry Potter?"

"Excuse me?"

"The Harry Potter books. Have you read them?"

"Of course," said Rachel. The Harry Potter series were

"Well then, do you remember this thing called the Pensieve that Dumbledore used?"

"Yes, I do. But I'm afraid I don't quite understand where you're going with this."

"Where I'm going is that everyone finds it easier to think, to function and to figure things out if they talk about it. I'm not here to treat you or anything like that, because so far I see nothing wrong with you. But there are way too many things going on in your life, Rachel, and you need to talk about it. You don't want your head to explode, do you?"

"No, no I don't. That would be rather a problem when I went on stage."

"Sure would. So, what's been going on then?"

"Plenty. I think I've already mentioned my grandparents before, right?"

"Yeah, I remember them."

"Well, they think that I would be better off living with them."

"Do they now?"

"Yes! Can you believe it? I don't know why my grandparents are suddenly taking such an interest in me, since they seemed more than eager to leave me with Shelby for the past few weeks, but I suspect my grandmother is just trying to make life difficult for us. I mean, she cannot honestly believe that I would be better off living with her."

"And why's that?" asked Dr. Walsh, not reacting at all to Rachel's outraged expression.

"Do you even need to ask me that? My grandmother is bigoted, not stupid. She's fully aware of the fact that the last thing I want is to go and live with her, and I'm fairly sure that she won't enjoy having me around either. She has a problem with absolutely everything that I do, so why would she want me around her all the time if there was another way out?"

"I can't tell you that. I'd like to be all optimistic and say that maybe she's changed, and wants to make amends, but you're not stupid and I don't want to lie. So instead of bothering about why she's doing this, why don't you tell me how you're feeling about it. Are you worried?"

"About?"

"You tell me."

"Of course I'm not. I mean, I was, but Shelby's just been so great about all of it. My grandmother has actually sent her a legal notice now, after this huge affair with her lawyers, but she's been fantastic."

"Is that what's bothering you, then?"

"Huh?"

"Shelby being so fantastic and going out of her way to help you and support you. Is that the problem?"

"I... I haven't thought of it," said Rachel. She wasn't being completely honest at that moment, because truth was that she had been thinking about it rather a lot in the past few days. First bringing Quinn to stay with them, and now coping with all of her family's nonsense - she feared that Shelby might realize that she wasn't cut out for all the drama.

"But if you did think of it, then?"

"Then... Then I suppose it's a little bit of a problem sometimes. I mean, whatever may be happening, fact of the matter is that she's not my mom. I don't know how much she'll be willing to do before it becomes too much."

"Uh huh."

"It's not her, you know," Rachel rushed to clarify."Shelby has been so fantastic to me, and she's never said anything about... well, about feeling burdened by me. If anything, she's going in exactly the opposite direction by doing every little thing she can think of to make me comfortable. But I just... I don't even know what. I should be able to trust someone who's done so much for me, shouldn't I?"

"No, not really. You don't have to try to explain it; I get what you're saying. Rachel, you and Shelby are in a very, very unique position."

"Is that a good thing?"

"It's neither good nor bad. It's unique. The two of you quite literally stumbled into a relationship, the implications of which neither of you could handle. And then what happened with your dads was again something that affected both of you, and something which the two of you didn't get to process. There are a lot of big emotions involved in your equation with her, and it's amazing that the two of you have done so well under your circumstances."

"But then what about what I'm feeling now?"

"Had to happen. And I can tell you, Shelby's probably as unsure as you are right now, just about different things. And that's because the two of you are going through all the motions of a parent-child relationship, without having the time to develop the trust and understanding that entails. There's so many eggshells that both of you think you're walking around, and I'm going to help you get rid of them."

"How?"

"You'll see. Shelby will probably be attending our next session, if that's alright with you."

"That's fine, but what're you going to do."

"I'm going to talk to both of you together, and get you to talk to each other about specific things. Nothing that we've discussed here is going to be brought up then, don't worry. And Rachel, just to be clear, I'm not going to get the two of you to develop a mother-daughter relationship, because I can't do that. The two of you need to start trusting each other, and let your relationship develop the way it does."

"But what's the use of that?"

"Giving a label to a relationship, especially one as tangled as yours, just brings in more expectations, more awkwardness. Instead of focusing on fitting her into the role of your parent, let her take the role that is coming most naturally to the two of you. It could be that of your mom, or protector or friend. Whatever it is, just let it happen, because that is really the most important thing for you right now - to get out of all the roles that you've been pushed into. You're a powerful person, Rachel, and let's make sure you remember that, okay?"

* * *

How was therapy? I always get a bit unsure with that.

Okay then. Wasn't that overdue?.. Yeah, thought so. Now the thing is, this story probably going to be on hold for the next few months. Don't kill me, I have exams. 3 months at the most. I'll try to write if I get get struck over the head with an idea, but that's not too likely. Will be resuming in 3 months, and trust me, I have some thoroughly evil stuff planned to make up for the wait;)

**Meggy938: **I hate Russell too. I guess a lot of people do. And don't worry, I have no intentions of getting myself killed by letting Janice get a hold of Rachel. Thanks for reviewing:)

**Meghan:** Thank you. Plenty more to come. This story was supposed to be short, but apparently not:)

**Curious:** Everyone hates Janice, don't they? Good thing that I do too:)

Un-betaed, so please point out errors. And all sort of suggestions are always welcome, so keep them coming. Like I said, if I get some great idea, I will write about it.

Also, I'm going to involve Quinn's parents, because obviously she can't stay with Rachel forever, even though I may want her too. So how do you think I should work with Russell? Judy I have ideas for, but Russell is eluding me.

And what about Shelby/Rachel therapy? Any ideas are welcome. Anyone who has any sort of experience with these things, please do tell me. Thanks.


End file.
